video; via smartphone

[drama8om8]

Hah! Hah! Fuck all of you assholes with your stupid dumb fancypants power shit. Fuck you! Because I have a real superpower now. The best and most useful and cool and impressive one and you are all going to feel sorry for ever thinking my abilities were lame!

[ With a triumphant nyaaahh, Octavia sticks her tongue out at her phone and then turns it towards the TV. It's tuned in to one of those 24-hour live shopping channel broadcasts - a female presenter is currently hawking overpriced fake jewellery to the viewers. ]

"...And this beautiful piece can be yours for only three hundred dollars! But even if you wear this overpriced piece of shit, you won't be as hot as Octavia."

[ While uttering her slightly-suspect words, the presenter has an unsettlingly slack look to her limbs and a completely vacant expression. It's creepy as hell. After she's done speaking she claps her hands over her mouth in surprise, and Octavia turns the phone back towards her own grinning face. ]

Haha! See? I toooooooold youuuuuuuu! I can make anybody do anything I want any time I want to and it is going to be amazing.

[ She may be exaggerating just a teensy bit. (Permissions post is here!) ]

Comments

[iustitia]

The way I heard it, you had to get that shouty kid to help you.

[drama8om8]

What, Alan? Sure, I let him help. Because he needed the ego boost! But I was totally the one who killed it and then said the snappy one-liner.

"Good ARACHNIDDANCE," if you were wondering.

[iustitia]

[Teresa's eyes widen, and then she immediately buries her face in her hands. Her shoulders might be shaking a little.

This may seem like a typical facepalm, but the truth is that she really, really doesn't want to admit that she thought that was funny.]

[drama8om8]

 

 

 

 

It was way more badass in context, okay.

[ ALL THE BUTTHURT. ALL OF IT. ]

[iustitia]

[give her a moment to compose herself okay?

okay.]

Suuuuuuure it was.

[drama8om8]

My bad, Azmogle Drainozard. Clearly you are the expert on scorpion puns! Next time I will be sure to pause before I brutally eviscerate my enemies just so I can get your pun approval. Fucker.

[iustitia]

I'm sorry, but all pun consultation sessions need to be set up at least a week in advance. I simply don't have enough time in my schedule to take walk-ins or charity cases.

[drama8om8]

Don't you call me a charity case your face is a charity case. Plus puns are entirely lame when not used in a context that involves beating things up and being badass. Neither of which are things you can do!

[wirsinddiejager]

I am not shouty.

[iustitia]

Really? Not even a little bit?

[wirsinddiejager]

Well, I guess I sometimes shout a bit when I get angry, but that doesn't make me shouty.

[iustitia]

And just how often do you get angry?

[wirsinddiejager]

...Are you implying I have anger issues or something? Because I don't.

[iustitia]

I am implying that if you get angry often, that leads to more shouting, which in turns to more people getting the impression that you are just a shouty kind of guy!

[wirsinddiejager]

If I get angry often that's just because I have to deal with annoying idiots all the time.

[enrages]

He is really shouty.

[wirsinddiejager]

No one cares what you think.

[enrages]

It's not what I think; it's fact.

[wirsinddiejager]

You wouldn't know what a fact is if one bit your face off.

[enrages]

I am the arbiter of truth and fiction, asshole.

because we needed a third opinion on this right?

[vetala]

You aren't actually all that shouty.

yes we did

[wirsinddiejager]

Thank you. I'm glad someone can see that.

Re: yes we did

[vetala]

You're welcome. I aim to please. [And to deliver brutally honest remarks that crush the self-esteem of those foolish enough to anger her like insects under her jackbooted heel. But y'know, mostly to please.]

I am finished with your costume, by the way.

[wirsinddiejager]

...What, the spandex? I don't want it.

[vetala]

Too late. It's already finished.