Showtime #001: Audio, Then text.

[hawaiianheir]

[So howdy, network, just another day, right? Well. Except for what looks like a new person accessing the super secret numbers network.

For a moment or two, there seems to be pretty much nothing but silence. Then, a piano tune creeps up. Slow, steady, almost as if he's rehearsed this. Weird. At least it sounds pretty, right?

It goes on for a minute or two, before wrapping up. After that there's nothing again, until text starts appearing, rapid-fire as if from an IM or IRC client.]

okay so
what the fuck is this, seriously
i mean the number is obviously some sort of weird coded gibberish (who the fuck heard of an address starting with '413' i mean really)
is that dumb piano piece i remembered from who knows where some sort of signal or key or something who the fuck knows
assuming i didn't just craft it up in some weird half-baked dream anyway
what the hell am i even typing there's probably nothing even here
just, you know, me
typing into the infinite idiot void
wondering if i get something better than the dumb bullshit i usually put up with
yaaaaay
ace choices in how to waste your time today self
real pro of you
ugh, whatever.

Comments

text; via chat client

[drama8om8]

[Infinite Idiot Void] is ready 2 chat!

Wow, most people don't get that it's me on the first try. Pretty impressive!!!!!!!! 8O

[ octavia pls ]

CHAT CLIENT SHENANIGANS, HOOOO

[hawaiianheir]

[Ahahaha what. No, seriously, what the fuck.]

lol well fuck i guess there is something here after all.
fucking incredible.
what do i win for guessing the scope and type of void i have encountered?
like there's got to be a fabulous prize for this shit.

[drama8om8]

Don't call me a something! Don't you know that is incredibly insensitive towards my identity as an infinite idiot void?
And jsyk voids don't tend to have a lot of prize shit to give away, duh. We're voids. We're full of nothing. Like your brain for not getting that. OH SNAP! ;D

text, via chat client

[reapsthewind]

[BlackSunEmperor] joined the chat!

lurk moar n00b

text, via chat client

[hawaiianheir]

shit man i just got here what do you want from me
i mean what the fuck kind of party is this anyhow some anon circlejerk pa'ina
sounds like a real great time ngl

text, via chat client

[reapsthewind]

okay fine WELL you actually do probably need the rundown so you don't fucking die

read this

text; who am i to break a chat client combo?

[thorny]

[TokyoDoll] joined the chat!

Congratulations! You've won the prize for most vapid entity to crawl onto the internet. Your musical skills may be abysmal, but at least you have some accomplishments to be proud of. ヾ(ﾟ∀ﾟゞ)

text; HIKARIIIIIIII

[hawaiianheir]

well shit i didn't realize i was getting rocked by 2chan rejects
at least you seem able to actually bring some game to the table even if it's the most rudimentary of shit

Text; via chat client because why not

[vetala]

[Carnivorous] joined the chat!

So I'm assuming that at some point during all this you are going to want some actual information, correct?

Text; via chat client because why not

[hawaiianheir]

I got some sort of rundown from BSE
not sure how much i believe the nonsense but i guess if you wanna add your side of the story to it
that'd be fine
like seriously what kind of shit is this anyway

text; c-c-c-combo breaker this is handwritten

[wirsinddiejager]

good job youve joined the secret numbers club. your prize is an endless procession of bullshit.

text, chat client

[hawaiianheir]

[Woah okay what the fuck, that's. New.]

wait what the hell is with that font of yours
how the fuck are you doing that
also hooray i love endless processions of bullshit that's like my favorite thing ever
fucking not holy hell

text; I WENT TO THE TROUBLE OF A USERNAME SO CHAT I GUESS

[eras]

[geocaught] joined the chat!

if you don't believe in the possibility you'll get something better than usual, you probably won't!
i'd offer more help but looks like you got a basic rundown.
welcome aboard, keep all hands & feet inside the vehicle at all times etc.

text; YES GOOD MORE CHATS

[hawaiianheir]

yeah apparently everyone flat-out dogpiled on me
too bad i've never really been of a stickler for rules
gonna kick those feet out and throw my hands in the air
but yeah, hey there, guess there's a lot more people than just lil' ol me here.
and i'm not much of a believer that things will ever be that good.
consider it my way of saying i know what's coming.

[somesayinfire]

[Crematerror] joins the fray!

Infinite Idiot Void. I like it.
I've been calling it the super double-secret magical numbers club.
Is the void infinite, or are the idiots in it infinite?

[hawaiianheir]

Yes.
(I mean both. I forget not everyone is used to logic gate definitions of or.)
If you have to ask, the answer is almost always both.
But glad someone besides me Taffy found that a little witty.

1/2

[hopediesalone]

2/2; chat client

[hopediesalone]

[AlexMurphy] has joined the battle!

eh
7/10

voice {iphone}

[ursoreckless]

[here, have a commo breaker! also Shou is just not in the mood to play around with chat clients.]

It probably is a sign of the numbers club. Get use to having weird shit shoved onto you since it's only the beginning.

[voice/smartphone]

[hawaiianheir]

[He changes it up since text probably translates as Stephen Hawking tier voicebox BS if he tries to chat it out.]

Numbers club? Alright, that's as good a name as any I suppose.

And yeah, I'm starting to realize this is only the start of the weirdest shit.

[counterclock]

you sound like you're a lot of fun at parties

[hawaiianheir]

you'd be surprised, i'm usually the guy who posts the drunken antics everyone was too wasted to remember on youtube.

[text, smartphone combo breaker because...he mostly uses texts and facebook, he's boring]

[wordsgate]

Oh, cool! Your first extra is a song just like mine was? It's lovely. Do you normally play piano?

[text, i'm really sorry this is so late]

[hawaiianheir]

extra? huh, that's a word for them i guess
and yeah, i do, but this song came to my head when i like
got my very first lesson
teacher was completely flabbergasted and wanted to call me a wunderkind
shows how much he knew

text; via chat client

[enrages]

[ihateveryone] joined the chat!

cool.
you got the special power of playing a fucking piano.
congrats.
you're still a piece of shit.
not a single person in this entire internetspace likes you.
we're so proud of all the hate you've managed to accumulate in the course of a single post.
they say you can only make one first impression, right???
you nailed it.