004 >> july 26 - evening - text

[hollowleg]

[[ Context for this post! Be aware that it contains violence, body horror, and a bit of gore. ]]

so we have baristas and students and a vet and doctors and all kinds of people in the Secret Number Club. Do we have any dental students? i know you guys need to collect human teeth to mess with in school and i recently came into possession of an almost complete set. almost complete because i think i swallowed some. haha… no, positive. i counted.

i dont think im a vampire. i don't crave blood per se. but i DID eat a whole mutant animal before I realized what was happening. and then…

you know what i don't really want to talk about it.

i just want to get rid of these teeth but i wanted to ask if anyone needed them before i just put them in the garbage.

[then added a little later;]


shit.

i'm scared.

Comments

[15minuteslate]

[A whole goddamn cup of whiskey? For real?

Mamoru picks it up, wonders for a moment whose it was -- Chris's, probably -- then decides he doesn't give a good goddamn and takes a good solid swallow.

It burns on the way down, sure, and whiskey straight up will never be his favorite, but to his credit he doesn't cough. He drank with philosophy majors back in college.]

You're going harder than the philosophy majors I used to know.

[He examines the cup. No way in hell is he going to finish all of this.]

[hollowleg]

Are philosophy majorth harcore drinkerth? I have no idea. [gulp gulp]

[now the bottle is empty. How sad. Shiro pouts and drops the bottle on the carpet. Soba takes one sniff of it and sneezes. Yikes, no thanks]

... I think I might leave.

[15minuteslate]

[Mamoru opens his mouth, and closes it. Somehow, I don't think he's talking about leaving the room.]

You mean -- leave Locke?

[hollowleg]

Mmmhmm. [he furrows his brows and twists his neck around to look at Mamoru] Move back home. Get away from all... thith. [he gestures to his mouth] I mean, it all goeth away if we leave the thity, I heard. I... ugh. I don't think I can handle thith. [he presses his knuckles into his eyes] Thith ith all too much to deal with!! Alienth? Hybrid beathst? And I'M mutating into God-knowth-what-- some kind of monthter!

[15minuteslate]

[Mamoru's silent for a long moment, thinking about that.]

I don't think anyone would blame you if you did. I don't know what's happening to you, but it's --

-- just watching it is hard enough. I can't imagine what it must be like to go through it.

[He takes a deep breath, and more of his feelings about this process.]

[hollowleg]

[Shiro groans and scrubs his hand over his face]

It'th Hell. It'th Hell and I thound like a moron even talking about it with thethe thtupid teeth! I want to leave. I... don't want thith. [he makes a sound that might be like a choked sob. But he also doesn't sound like his heart is in it]

[15minuteslate]

...well, it's up to you, man. Your choice -- But, not gonna lie --

-- I'd be okay with it, if you went home. Actually, I'd feel better if you did. I mean, you might get pulled into the family business, but that's nothing compared to what you'd be going through here.

[Funny how all the problems from before didn't seem nearly so important, now.

And besides, I'd be glad knowing for sure that you were safe.

[A beat.]

Say hi to Mom and Dad for me when you go, okay? I'm probably not going to be leaving Locke for a while.

[hollowleg]

[somehow, that doesn't reassure him.

Somehow, it makes him feel less sure about his idea. ]

You... you'd th...thh... ssstay here? [he looks at his brother, his expression difficult to pin down, but certainly not happy] You wouldn't be... th-safe then! I... [he sit sup and balls his hand into a tight fist, gritting those new teeth of his] Running away... That'th what it would be. [he wants to just run away. Wouldn't it be easy? So why does it feel like something is holding him back?] I could just run away. It'd be so ea...eaSY. [Shiro who are you trying to convince]

[15minuteslate]

Yeah. I'm staying.

[Mamoru looks away, down at the floor, serious.]

I'm not going through the kind of stuff you are, so the choice isn't as hard for me. But I want to see this through, you know? I don't want to go somewhere and live peacefully, not knowing that it could all come crashing down because of a battle I didn't even know was going on.

And couldn't do anything about.

[And besides, these...powers. These memories. This secret conflict. It sucked, for real, but...there was a part of him that didn't want to go back to a normal life. Stupid, yes. Masochistic, maybe. But there.]

[hollowleg]

[that gives Shiro pause. He can't... he can't leave Mamoru here. They may have not got along for the longest time, but they were still family. And you can't leave family like that.

He's quiet for a long time, rolling over on his back to look up the ceiling. Soba jumps up on his chest and Shiro strokes his fur]

... I want to go. I do. I want to run away from all thith and never look back. [he shakes his head] But I won't leave you, Mamoru. [he looks over at him] That'd be the dickest move int he univerthe. Leaving you here to deal with everything, jutht becauthe... why. Thome dental work? [he sits up, poking at his teeth] It'th thcary. Terrifying. I don't know what I am, or how much worthe it'll get. [he gives Mamoru a bit of a sidelong grin] You need me. [he just doesn't feel like he can be apart from Mamoru again. He isn't sure what it is, but he feels more connected to his brother now than he ever had]

[15minuteslate]

[Wait, really? Mamoru hadn't meant to -- had he accidentally talked Shiro into staying? Mamoru feels a flash of guilt. ]

I wouldn't ask you to stay. You know that, right? I'd never. And if you ever change your mind, that's totally cool. Okay? I won't be mad, or think you're running away, or anything.