savetheearth | [video]

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[Alan looks terrible, like he hasn't slept for a couple of days. (That would be because he hasn't.) He's still feeling nervous about bringing up the scorpion encounter and potentially having to mention his weird outburst, but he figures the network should know about it. Might as well do it now, when he's too tired to care much.]

Uh, hey. There was this big purple scorpion...thing running around the other night? It stung people and made them laugh like morons for hours.

[He yawns and rubs at his eyes, then takes a sip of coffee.]

Anyway, it was following Octavia and she led it to my house because for some reason she thought I might have a gun and, uh, we killed it. Together. It was a team effort. Go us.

That's pretty much it, just though you guys might want to hear about it.

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YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING HYPOCRITE.

I HATE YOU.

I HATE YOU MORE.

I HATE YOU THE MOST.

WILL YOU GUYS JUST FUCK ALREADY.

no

You know that thing I said that one time about always getting what I want

Remember that

i

i dont believe you

What would it take to make this happen hypothetically

ITS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. EVER.

What if I whisper "kiss Karson" into your ears every night while you sleep

i will never sleep again

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OH MY GOD

no

Edited (no) 2013-07-26 20:14 (UTC)

But

no buts or butts

I would twerk at you, but I am too consumed by lust right now.

this is really uncomfortable.
i feel like i'm being objectified.

I know. I'm fighting back against the patriarchy.

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I HATE YOU MORE THAN THAT.

I HATE YOU TIMES INFINITY.

I HATE YOU TIMES INFINITY PLUS ONE.

I HATE YOU TIMES INFINITY TIMES INFINITY, MOTHERFUCKER.
MY HATE IS THE FURY THAT FUELS THE THE VERY SUN THAT GIVES US LIFE.
YOUR HATE IS LIKE A MUTATED WORM, BLIND AND ALONE, WIGGLING ABOUT IN THE DIRT WITH NO PURPOSE OTHER THAN TO EAT DIRT AND SHIT DIRT.
YOU CANNOT COMPETE.

ok fine you got me. my hate isnt that great. Ive got better things to do with my time than hate you.

like that?

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