savetheearth | [video]

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[video]

[Alan looks terrible, like he hasn't slept for a couple of days. (That would be because he hasn't.) He's still feeling nervous about bringing up the scorpion encounter and potentially having to mention his weird outburst, but he figures the network should know about it. Might as well do it now, when he's too tired to care much.]

Uh, hey. There was this big purple scorpion...thing running around the other night? It stung people and made them laugh like morons for hours.

[He yawns and rubs at his eyes, then takes a sip of coffee.]

Anyway, it was following Octavia and she led it to my house because for some reason she thought I might have a gun and, uh, we killed it. Together. It was a team effort. Go us.

That's pretty much it, just though you guys might want to hear about it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I AM SIXTEENEN THERE IS STILL TIME WHAT ACTIION MOCIEWS HAVE SICTEEN YEAR OLDS IN THEMF CUK YOU.

wow calm down I was just saying. no need to bite my fucking head off.

I WILL BITE EVERY HEAD OFF.
And then I will write "HOW MANY PROFESSIONAL ARTINGS HAVE YOU DONE, SMARTASS" in your BLOOD!!!!!!!! >8C

I guess then Karson can get on someone elses case for being psycho. yay

Ignore Karson! He is just jealous because you got to be heroic and kill a giant scary bug and he wussed out of fighting Bambi.
So he is trying to make out like your accomplishments are bad so that he doesn't feel so unbelievably lame!

well its not like Im listening to his bullshit about how the thing was just hungry or whatever.

Then what bits ARE you listening to because that implies you're listening to some of it. I am ON TO YOU and your ways.

(I am also still going to bite your head off, that's still a thing. It is like I am the Praying Mantis and you are the Hunter.)

well

he had a point about what if it happens again. I dont wanna end up hurting anyone because of some pulsecho shit idk what were supposed to call it.

Friendly reminder that I was there and you didn't end up hurting me, bro. 8|
And I assume you didn't WANT to? Beyond the usual low-level annoyance that makes people kind of want to punch me in the face sometimes.

yeah but you werent threatening me. what if like. idk I get mugged or something.

[ tavia stop thinking about staging a surprise fake mugging to test this out ]

I threatened you with chloroform before! Did you get any homicidal urges there. 8\a

no. but I didnt think youd actually do it so idk if it counts.

What if I just come over to your place sometime and straight up punch you in the face? Would that be threatening.

how am I supposed to know? I dont even have any idea if its a threat thing. or if its ever going to happen again. or basically anything at all about it.

[ OCTAVIA FLORENCE SERKET I SAID STOP CONSIDERING FAKE MUGGINGS YOUNG LADY ]

Challenge accepted.

WHAT NO. there are no challenges here.

Aren't there, Alan? AREN'T THERE?
Don't sweat it! Whatever I may do will absolutely be for your own good. I promise!

oh my god nothing good can ever come from those words.

What! When have I ever got you into trouble before.

Except like the other day which doesn't count.

we havent known each other that long. if you go through with whatever youre thinking of here its going to get us both into trouble I know it.

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