[video]

[wirsinddiejager]

[Alan looks terrible, like he hasn't slept for a couple of days. (That would be because he hasn't.) He's still feeling nervous about bringing up the scorpion encounter and potentially having to mention his weird outburst, but he figures the network should know about it. Might as well do it now, when he's too tired to care much.]

Uh, hey. There was this big purple scorpion...thing running around the other night? It stung people and made them laugh like morons for hours.

[He yawns and rubs at his eyes, then takes a sip of coffee.]

Anyway, it was following Octavia and she led it to my house because for some reason she thought I might have a gun and, uh, we killed it. Together. It was a team effort. Go us.

That's pretty much it, just though you guys might want to hear about it.

Comments

audio;

[enrages]

You probably could have sold the shell on the black market or something.

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

That didn't really occur to me in the middle of the fucking night after I'd been attacked by a fucking giant scorpion and poisoned with stupid fucking gigglevenom.

audio;

[enrages]

You've got to think about these things, dumbshit.

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

I'll keep that in mind next time something like this happens.

audio;

[enrages]

You're welcome. ...Mr. Anger Issues.

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

I don't have anger issues.

audio;

[enrages]

Tell that to the bug and its family.

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

That was...shit like that isn't normal for me. I don't go around slaughtering animals on a regular basis. And anyway the bug tried to kill me first.

audio;

[enrages]

What if you do it again? Like... A dog barks are you or something. What'll you do?

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

Maybe I'll just stay away from animals for the rest of my life.

audio;

[enrages]

What if a particularly burly individual walks towards you in, what you perceive to be, a threatening manner?

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

-I don't know, okay?! I don't know if that was a one-off thing or if it's going to keep happening!

audio;

[enrages]

..................................................................................We should test it out.

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

............How.

audio;

[enrages]

Get some scary looking bugs and lock you in a room with them.

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

I already tried looking at pictures of bugs. I don't know if that's going to work.

audio;

[enrages]

They've got to be alive. And full of poisons.

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

So you want to throw poisonous bugs at me and see if I kill them?

audio;

[enrages]

Maybe not throw them at you. Just have you in the same area as them.

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

What if they sting me or something?

audio;

[enrages]

There's a nurse on the network. He could probably save you.

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

But what if I'm allergic or something? I could die!

audio;

[enrages]

We'll find something you're not allergic to, then. So no bees, I guess. Can people be allergic to spiders? I don't think so.

audio;

[wirsinddiejager]

Yes they can, I just googled it.

audio;

[enrages]

What about wild cats? Can you be allergic to those?