savetheearth | [text; sketchbook]

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[text; sketchbook]

[The first thing to appear is a series of sketches of what seems to be a squirrel with a human nose; Alan wrote down the numbers while doodling. There's a long pause as he notices something strange is going on and glances over the network. More sketches appear as he tries to take in all this new information, but eventually he decides to go ahead and actually write something.]

ok so Ive been trying to figure this thing out. like I have no idea how this shit works when Im not even online? or ON A COMPUTER??? what the fuck is that even. but I guess if jackets can appear out of nowhere its not that much of a leap to weird random number network things.

but anyway the point is that I saw some stuff about defending the earth? is that for real? because if so then fuck yes I am in.

also. whether or not this is for real or some crazyass arg? this network thing is seriously lacking some artwork. there needs to be a badass banner or something at least. I wouldnt mind whipping something up for you guys. no bragging or anything but Im a pretty good artist.

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[This is a difficult situation. On one hand, Alan is a straight teenage male, so when a reasonably attractive girl is telling him to take off his shirt he feels like he really should probably be complying.

On the other, this is really fucking stupid.

SO MUCH INNER CONFLICT.]

idk if that would be such a good idea.

Haha, please! Do I seem like the kind of lady who would ever steer you wrong?
Do it. Be the manliest. Prove your jacket is unhaunted or whatever the fuck.
SHIRT SHIRT SHIRT SHIRT SHIRT SHIRT SHIRT SHIRT!!!!!!!!

idk you were kind of rude with those nicknames earlier. Im not sure I really want to trust you on this.

But we're buddies! Pals. Superhero chums. Are you really going to let some affectionate nicknaming get in the way of our super great friendship that involves losing shirts?

Or shirt. Not plural. I ain't taking MINE off, wow.

are you objectifying us.

Does it count as objectifying if I genuinely value your respective friendships? Because I do. I absolutely totally do.

none of us are friends.

We're not?

Not even snarky friends who are mean but also kind of fond of each other? Not even hatefriends????????

hatefriends isn't a thing, you dork.
i mean, i guess we're like.
acquaintances.
maybe.

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Come on, he just wants to draw cool banners. Don't make him take his shirt off if he doesn't want to.

he has to take off his shirt to see if its being haunted.

MY SHIRT IS NOT HAUNTED I BOUGHT IT IN A STORE. IVE HAD IT FOR LIKE A YEAR.

IT'S HAUNTED BY WEARING THAT JACKET.

THAT IS THE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

WE COULD CONFIRM THIS DUMB THING AS ENTIRELY ACCURATE IF YOU WOULD JUST EXPERIMENT ON YOUR FUCKING JACKET.

HOW ABOUT YOU EXPERIMENT ON YOUR FACE.

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His shirt is not haunted. He bought it in a store. He's had it for like a year.

how
do...

you know that.
do you stalk his shirts.
that's really fucking messed up.

Nah, I'm just trusting him to know about his own shirts.

Besides, ghosts can't possess shirts. It would be like putting a tablecloth down over a second tablecloth.

there's a guy here who is being haunted by his jacket.
this jacket is probably haunting shouty mcasshole, and he just doesn't want to confirm it.

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Are you implying that my new buddy Alan (AKA Shouty Al) is in need of rescuing?
I in't going to MAKE him take off his shirt! It was just a friendly suggestion. To a friend!

I'm not rescuing him, I'm just trying to make sure nobody bullies him into doing something he doesn't want to do. Besides, you typed "shirt" at him eight times and used eight exclamation points to make your point. Are you sure he's the shouty one?

Oh my god don't be such a fussy drag!
I am not bullying him and he can get his shirt grafted onto his body for all I care.
(Also 8s are kind of my thing. Because Octavia. Duh!)

Oh, good, I finally got a name out of you. Thanks for seeing it my way, Octavia! ;)

The "Oc" is silent

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