[text via computer]

[gogoghostpowers]

[His parents always told him that if he finds a mysterious secret network that can only be accessed by unusual means, he should use the eight proxy servers set up in the attic before connecting to it and then determine its use before proceeding with anything else.

He always thought it was a load of bull, but all of a sudden everything his parents ever told him seems relevant. Now the question is: how do you check something if something is part of a secret conspiracy to brainwash everyone without blowing your cover?]

This is a test to check for proper network functioning and see if anything needs fixing.

Is this connected to the water treatment facility, city hall, department of agriculture, Roswell in New Mexico, the city maintenance office, any psychiatry offices, or any stores selling Adidas shoes?

Also, what's the connection to Thomas Edison's birthday?

[NAILED IT.]

Comments

[somesayinfire]

It's a tactical crash. But you wouldn't know about those, would you? ...Or WOULD you? You're an alien spy! I knew it!

Okay, no, I'm just kidding. Aliens probably don't exist, except for the ones that we're apparently supposed to be fighting against.

[gogoghostpowers]

Think they're the same ones who crashed in Roswell?

[somesayinfire]

Probably not. For a decent amount of reasons. Then again, I didn't even know about the aliens until yesterday, so how much could I really know about this kind of thing? I just burn the bodies around here.

[gogoghostpowers]

Oh, you're new on here too? That's cool, I was starting to think I was the only new one.

What do you mean by 'burn the bodies'?

[He is unfamiliar with that idiom.]

[somesayinfire]

Brooke Reynolds, professional cremator. Pleased to meet you.

[gogoghostpowers]

Wow. That must be a pretty interesting job.

Danny Fenton, professional high school student, I guess?

[somesayinfire]

It's kind of boring. The place is dead most of the time. Anyway, you're in high school? That's a lot of conspiracy theories for a high school kid to know about.

[gogoghostpowers]

I'd hope a cremator's office was pretty dead, that's not a really good place to be living it up.

The conspiracy stuff is more my parents' thing, actually. I just know about it because they won't stop talking about it.

[somesayinfire]

You're pretty sharp. Do you actually believe all that conspiracy stuff? I mean, not that you don't have a reason to now that you're part of this super special double-secret internet club, but do you really think Bigfoot stole the Queen's baby and raised it to become Paula Deen?

[gogoghostpowers]

[Sharp or not, he mostly just has a weakness for puns. You might even call it...


...a punchant?]

Well, for one thing, I think you'd have to be really crazy to believe that Bigfoot Paula Deen thing. I don't even know how anyone could come up with that.

But mostly, nah. I don't really believe in it. But if something really weird does ever happen, it can't hurt to be prepared, right?

[somesayinfire]

So I guess hearing about this whole "we're supposed to keep the planet safe from aliens" thing didn't come as much of a surprise to you, huh? Maybe it does help to be a little paranoid! Who knew.

I have a feeling "something really weird" is going to start happening a lot more often now that we're part of this super double-secret internet club.

[gogoghostpowers]

Hearing about it? No, not much of a surprise. Hearing about it and finding out it's actually true? That's as big a surprise for me as it is for anyone, I think.

...You're probably right. Man, I wish I could prepare for it, but I have no idea what could happen...

[somesayinfire]

That kind of makes it exciting, if you ask me. I mean, I don't like being in the dark about things, but it's not going to be the end of the world if I don't know what's going to happen next, right?

Besides, we're all in the dark together. Unless there's a traitor in our midst or something, but I don't think anyone around here is flat-out evil.

[gogoghostpowers]

I guess so! Everyone's been pretty nice on here so far, or as nice as you can be on a crazy conspiracy network of people with weird memories and superpowers and stuff.

I just don't want to get mixed up in anything dangerous, but it doesn't look like that's an option...

[somesayinfire]

There's that superpower thing again. I'm starting to feel like I'm missing out. All I have is the memory of a giant scorpion.

I mean, I remember a giant scorpion. I don't have a giant scorpion's memory.

[gogoghostpowers]

Giant scorpion? Huh. Yeah, that sounds weird enough for this whole situation.

You're actually the first person I've talked to on here with a weird memory.

[somesayinfire]

Really? That seems weird. If you don't mind me asking, what did your numbers come with?

[gogoghostpowers]

I got powers. I can go through stuff, but I can't actually control it really well.

Or at all, actually.

[somesayinfire]

So you'll just be sitting down and you'll fall through the chair or something? I was starting to think I'd gotten ripped off, but maybe not having any weird powers I don't know how to do anything with is a good thing.

[gogoghostpowers]

More like my foot'll sink into the floor or my hand will go through the wall and I'll fall flat on my face.

Yeah, I think powers are one of those things where if you don't know how to control them, you're better off not having them at all.

[somesayinfire]

I'm glad I don't have to worry about that, then. Maybe. These things, these weird dizzy spells and lurches and then you feel better and you know or you can do something new (we need a better name for that), they can happen anytime, can't they? I don't know why I didn't think about that before now. That's actually kind of scary.

[gogoghostpowers]

I guess they can. I didn't really think of it that way.

I've heard of some pretty bad things happening to other people because of those lurches--like having their eyes liquefied. I'm pretty glad right now that all that's happened to me is some weird 'superpower' clumsiness.

[somesayinfire]

Okay, I have a new plan. The plan is try not to make my eyes melt out of my skull. Also, try not to have any more of these things. I know I can't control them, but maybe if I pretend really hard they'll listen to me.