[Mission 1 - Written neatly in the dirt. No, really.]

[oncedevil]

Well isn't this a surprise? You know, taking hallucinogens wasn't on my to-do list for the near future, but I guess everyone makes mistakes every now and then. I've learned a valuable lesson today: when someone hands you some funky hippy water full of leaves that they insist is good for you, don't drink it.

So, since I'm suddenly the Dirt Whisperer, how about you regale me with your earthy wisdom while I sit in the park and enjoy the trip? Let's kill some time before this wears off and I end up with the nastiest hangover I've ever had.

Here, I'll start with some easy questions:

Why is the sky blue? What's the meaning of life? What language does Mister Mumbles speak when he yells at people walking by? And most importantly, what the hell is going on?

Comments

text;

[yerawizarderi]

eridan
wwell alright
but no i dont wwant to knoww anything because youre just gonna exaggerate it to try and make me sound hideous and it probably wwont evven be REMOTELY correct so i rather not wwaste my time

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[drama8om8]

My finger slipped.
And the convers8tion I remem8er clearly indicates VRISKA dumped ERIDAN, just fyi!
In case you still dou8ted who was and IS the superior catch around here. ::::)

text;

[yerawizarderi]

[Oh shit. Yep, according to that echo, that is pretty much what he looked like. GOD WHAT IS HE GOING TO BECOME?!?!!! Time to focus on the part that doesn't involve him turning into some grey fish monster, YEP!]

ok youre full of shit youre clearly twwistin wwhat you remember to make yourself seem better than me
LIKE IM GONNA JUST BELIEVVE YOU LIKE SOME CHUMP
please oct evven you should knoww i aint so bloody gullible

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[drama8om8]

"god damn it vvris wwhys it still got to 8e so flippin awwkwward like this come on
wwe used to havve a good thing goin remem8er our campaigns
that shit wwas epic wwhere are you evven goin to find a rivvalry like that"

MAN.
That a8solutely sounds like some8ody grovelling and whining and 8egging for a second chance, huh?
8ut o8viously I am just making this up to fuck with you. I am all a8out the fucking! 8eing a whore and all. ::::)

text;

[yerawizarderi]

[WOW AND NOW HE REMEMBERS THAT EMBARRASSING EXCHANGE. TIME TO FUCKING TWIST IT.]

sounds more like past me wwas sheddin some pity on her and givvin HER another chance
but i GUESS i can see wwhere youre butcherin it for your favvor
leavve it to a bitch like you to twwist a guys generosity into somethin that wwould stroke your fat ego

text;

[drama8om8]

Oh, riiiiiiiight. Of course! How could I have 8een so 8lind. You must 8e right! Silly little me.

 

Except w8! Vriska shot Eridan down right after that. Pretty 8rutally! Do you conveniently not remem8er that part, or were you just hoping I didn't?
Adora8le. And futile! And pretty lame. ::::D