savetheearth | [text/photo] do not click the link in this post unless you are home, it's super NSFW

[This post opens up with a photo of some rumpled bedsheets on a bed, with a splotch of some sort of cream substance seeping into the center of it. The sheets, as well as the walls and furniture around the bed, look very similar to the ones shown in a previous post belonging to a particular Mrs. Hunter.]

Happy Valentine's Day, you wankers!

(I mean that in a literal sense, not trying to sound ~sophisticated and British~. I assume most of you are jerking off at the speed of sound over there.)

Just remember to share the love today. And don't forget, don't use protection, to let her know you really love her! After all, herpes is Latin for "he cares"!

So go out there, and show her YOU CARE!

Or, if you don't have a girl of your own to dance the mattress jig with, you can use one of these!

[This is a photo of a fleshlight. Taped on the handle of it is a piece of paper with the words "ALAN'S MOM" written on it.]

Custom molded to match real life vag! It's almost like you're having REAL SEX, without having to worry about actually pleasing anyone! For those of you who are just too pathetic to do anything else.

I'm willing to give this one to the first taker, network exclusive offer! Because I care about all of you and the rotting unspunked jizz curdling into cottage cheese in your wilted little cocks.

(And for the ladies, you should go here, this'll provide you with the full modified cop rhino cock experience!)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Just because your mom's getting it on? You should be happy for her, she's got a healthy sex life full of cocks skewering her like a meat on meat shiskabob!

Do you really want her to sacrifice her vaginal happiness just for your fragile little rose petal mind? Don't be so selfish.

I dont care if my mom has sex I just dont want to hear about it. especially not on a public network. plus Im pretty sure she wouldnt want people hearing about it so great job being a huge goddamn jerk to her.

1) It's not public, it's ~super sekrit and speshul~!!!

2) What if she gave me permission to talk about it, huh?

1) fine whatever semi-public.

2) no way in hell would she give you permission. or idk maybe for talking about it. but definitely not for showing the bed or naming sex toys after her.

Alright, you caught me red-handed. (Although it's really more like white-handed, if you take a look at those sheets!) She didn't give me permission for those photos. But hey, it's not like she can see them anyway, and what she doesn't know can't hurt her!

ok listen up asshole. if for some reason my mom actually wants to be involved with someone like you then fine thats her choice. not really my business no matter how much I dont like it. but I am NOT going to let you disrespect her behind her back.

Is it really behind her back if she can't ever see any of it because it's on a magical network that doesn't technically exist?

YES IT FUCKING IS.

Awww, seriously? How does that work?

It sounds like you're just making up rules because you don't like something! Well here's a life lesson for you: sometimes we don't like things, but we can't just change the way the world works because of it!

[text/photo] do not click the link in this post unless you are home, it's super NSFW

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