(no subject)

[princenopants]

Who: Siegfried and anyone at the library
What: Quality time with books in the comfort of air conditioning.
When: 7/5
Where: Locke City Public Library



Siegfried had come to the library to work on a research paper for his art history summer class, but as often was his way, had wound up with far more books on his own personal interests, so while there were a few books on medieval painting, there were quite a few more anthologies of rare fairy tales from across the globe, a few bird watcher guides, a tree identification key, a German/English dictionary and a study on European castles. His note pad was mostly empty, school work utterly forgotten as he became lost in the pages of the borrowed books. The fact that he had been there the entire day, barely moving and forgoing lunch seemed to have utterly escaped his notice as well...

Comments

[argents]

"Do you think so?" Banagher is genuinely curious. "Rather than thinking about them being discarded, the other possibilities would make me want to create something else, I think."

Create more.

[princenopants]

"A canvas can only house one painting at a time... blank, it holds endless possibilities. But to create, only one possibility can be chosen. Even if you bring the discarded possibilities to a new canvas, again, only can emerge onto it."

There was a slight pause before he continued. "I think that's why I don't like painting."

[argents]

It's a sad way of looking at it. One linear path leading to another, on and on, no matter how much built up along the way.

"Seems stifling," is what he settles on. "But I've never painted before. Do you still do it a lot, or?"

[princenopants]

"I've taken five classes on it. It's a popular concentration so it's heavily recommended." Especially to a student who seemed well skilled and dispositioned to the arts but unable to decide what particular form of it he wanted to dedicate himself to. He had excelled in every line of classwork, but to him, his creations all were lacking. His paintings seemed flat, his sculpture uninspired, his photography lifeless, his designs lackluster... no matter what the praise heaped upon them by his instructors.

There was something missing. The closest he had come had been in his acting, but in that, he knew what he lacked; understanding of the human condition. In fact, he had started acting with the muted hopes that in becoming another person, he would understand other people, but he so rarely could give the character the depth it demanded. The boy who had been so sheltered his entire life simply didn't have the experience to portray the intense emotions of the characters on stage that he himself had never felt....

[argents]

That feeling isn't completely lost on him, something like a void, hazy and deep and full of infinite possibility, but no direction. No clarity. Banagher blinks, a little slowly, as if trying to glean meaning from his answer, and leans forward.

"Yeah, but do you like it? Painting?"

*yoinks a bit of canon dialogue for his reply~*

[princenopants]

There was a slight pause as the young man pondered.

"...I neither like or dislike it, I think..." he finally answered, expression distant. "It doesn't feel like reading does..."

But it wasn't something that he disliked either. The act of painting was enjoyable, but creating something with it... the practice canvases full of lazy strokes of colour, the movement of the brush as it glided through oils, leaving textured streaks... That was the part of painting he enjoyed. Nothing that resulted in anything he could show, nothing that ended in something to be proud of... just the act of painting itself.

"There are no paintings in me..." he finally finished.

[argents]

Banagher backs up then, shoulders sloping. He'd asked for an answer and gotten one, though one that seemed so emptied out, and directionless. Not that he was any different, in effect. There were methods in his memory that lead toward something, but all they did was throw him on muddied paths with no light and no future. He almost wants to chase that reflection he sees in the other boy, but he stops himself short. Maybe Banagher had a name for the power that gave him the ability to sense the hearts of others — whether it be emptiness or sadness or something as vague as a lack of knowing, but he had no reason for it.

At least not one he can put into words.

"Maybe you're just waiting for the right thing to create," he settles on. "Whether it's painting or something else. I don't think the desire ever goes away."

[princenopants]

"Maybe..." Siegfried allowed before looking over, focusing on the other teen. "What is it that you're waiting for?"

It was an odd question, but in the rare times Siegfried did talk with others, he often tried to find the answers he was lacking in them. Everyone else seemed to much more... human than he was, for lack of a better term. More alive and in touch with what it meant to be an active part of the world instead of just a passive observer.

[argents]

That catches him offguard. Banagher flashes a mellow smile, one that's a little vacant itself, because he can't say for sure either.

"Light, I think," he answers plainly.

[princenopants]

Siegfried blinks a few times. "Light...?" he repeats with a lack of understanding.

[argents]

Banagher seems to freeze a little, as if he wasn't consciously aware of why he'd even picked something so... encompassing. But given the chance to choose and measure his words, thanks to Siegfried's temperament, he exhales.

"Maybe people want to think they can't live without it, but we're all just trying to find our kind of light. Something to show us the way, or," he reconsiders, "the ways we're capable of taking."

Warmth, direction, clarity. Light — well, it could do everything.

[princenopants]

Slowly, the blond's expression softened into a smile. "Something like hope, or a higher power..."

[argents]

"Yeah, like that. You can probably ask a hundred different people what 'light' means to them, and get a hundred different answers," he says. "It's comforting."

[princenopants]

"Unless they decide you mean something less metaphysical."

There was a soft amusement at that, very gentle and almost teasing, but kindly so.

[argents]

Banagher decides the quip isn't so bad and chuckles. A hundred and one answers, then.

"Hey, no one likes having their pantry light go out when all you want is some Pringles."

[princenopants]

Siegfried nodded, smile growing a touch warmer at the chuckle. "So you could say that no matter what the definition, light is a universally sought for thing."

[argents]

"There's something about that, I think. Something important I want to remember."

Something about it being universal, and how unlonely that felt.

[princenopants]

"Like the tapestry...?"

[argents]

"A little," Banagher replies truthfully. "That tapestry is important to me too, I'm sure of it. But knowing what it is that people search for..."

Unconsciously, his palm lingers over his heart, but doesn't end up coming to rest there, the more he thinks on it.

"I just think it's something I'm supposed to know."

[princenopants]

"Like an instinct?"

[argents]

"Mm," he agrees, though it's not so much with words. Catching himself, he manages half a laugh.

"Does that sound weird?"

[princenopants]

"Not really."

Being in a school of art studies, this sort of talk was pretty normal.

[argents]

"I'm glad," Banagher puffs a breath, a little bit of exaggeration in his relief, despite the fact that it was pretty nice to hold the previous conversation without much pretense. From his pocket, a quiet default phone ringtone resounds, marking the end of his break.

"Looks like it's time for me to get back to work," he says, pulling himself up from his seat. He pushes in his chair with a smile.

"Thanks, for helping me out. I could have been searching for that forever."

[princenopants]

Siegfried nodded in acknowledgment before turning his attention back to his books.

Yep. Not even a goodbye. The nod was enough, wasn't it?