[Even though it's become so much more complicated, Julien finds touch reassuring. Sometimes it's the only thing that feels real.]

I know. She was the world to me... she was... I haven't seen her in person in a year. She doesn't like this. I'm not supposed to be- [If he had athelas he could compartmentalize properly, set it aside and not feel so much. She always wanted him to be better than an animal, and better than their father, and now he is this.] -but I can't get through.