you know you can't actually burn water [closed]

[hollowleg]

Who: Shiro and Chris
What: Teaching Chris a few simple dishes. Hilarity ensues.
Where: Shiro's apartment
When: Backdated to... Sunday? Sure.

It was inevitable, really. Shiro couldn't stand to see someone who couldn't cook. EVERYONE could cook! They just had to learn, use the right tools and tricks. He has a variety of stuff out; pots and pans and a rice cooker, some precooked items, boxed curry, eggs, knives, cutting boards... He figures he'll teach her a few easy things like scrambled eggs, curry, and microwave brownies. He nods at his spread, then checks his phone. Yep, he'd told Chris to be here in about 15 minutes. He sends her a quick text.

His hunger is present as always, though, and he has a bit of barely seared, almost raw, steak that he's cutting into pieces to eat. This chunk of meat would keep his hunger at bay while he cooked, at least.

Comments

[reapsthewind]

Chris is, as usual, half an hour late, and it looks like she hasn't slept.

"... finals"

The moment he opens the door she's already beelining for the couch. He is not going to teach her to cook. Fuck that. She came over because she expects him to cook FOR her. Because yeah.

[hollowleg]

Shiro has finished his steak and is picking at some raw fish (with Soba watching him with enough intensity to see through brick walls) when Chris finally arrives, coming into his apartment like she just lives there.

He's decided that's just how she is.

"Oh right. Those are going on right now. I already had mine. Passed with flying colors, of course, ha!" He quirks a brow and puts the fish back in the fridge, earning a forlorn "miaaaaooouuuu" from Soba, and pokes at Chris with his bare foot.

"Hey, I didn't invite you over to sleep. Don't make me throw the cat on you."

[reapsthewind]

"Cat?"

She actually sits up and crawls to the edge of the couch.

"Cat."

She's gonna pet that cat. Awww yis. Cat.

[hollowleg]

With the fish gone, Soba is interested in the ladyhuman on the couch. She's not like the other ladyhumans that Shirohuman brings home. She has her clothes on, for one thing.

"That's Soba," Shiro notes as he gets together some stuff for cooking, "The most annoying and loud cat ever." Words spoken, of course, with the kind of fondness one uses when insulting their pets.

Meanwhile Soba is all about being pet and gives another loud meow.

[reapsthewind]

Not only does she have clothes on, they're mostly black and giant boots covered in belts. Y'know. Like you do.

"She's cute."

She gets the cat up into her lap and pets it.

"Anyway, I wasn't kidding, I burned water once. Left the pot on, forgot it, boiled off and melted the pot. Seriously. Started a fire and almost burned down half the kitchen. Luckily, MIT, so not really that uncommon an occurrence. Still, usually the kind of thing you find from chem students."

[hollowleg]

Very similar to Shiroperson's clothes! Here, have some white hair all over your black clothes, Chris. Soba is very affectionate.

"He," Shiro corrects, "But he doesn't have his nuts anymore, and his name is actually a kind of noodle and not a real name, so it's pretty much impossible to tell."

He quirks a brow and folds his arms, "Well, see, that's not burning water, that's being forgetful. You do have to pay attention to your cooking. Now get up, I'm going to show you something easy and delicious. You have a microwave, yeah? Of course you do."

[reapsthewind]

Pay attention? To thinks? Chris gives him the most skeptical look ever. But...

"Well, duh, I mostly heat things up in it."

[hollowleg]

"Right, but did you know you can actually make brownies in it? Watch and learn, young grasshopper."

Shiro takes out a large coffee mug and pours in some water, some vegetable oil, and some vanilla, which he stirs together well. "Oh, and don't worry. I'm gonna give you the recipe. For now, just watch."

Next, in goes cocoa powder, and more whisking. After that, sugar and MORE stirring. Then some flour, and yet MORE stirring. He shows her the inside of the mug, which has a uniform, chocolately liquid in it.

"See? Isn't that easy as hell? Now, do you like your brownies gooey in the middle, or cooked all the way through?"

[reapsthewind]

Sorry, Shiro, Chris just got distracted by her phone, because someone was wrong on the internet! TAKE THAT TWITTER-TARD.

"Wait, were you just trying to explain me a thing?" she asks, finally looking back up. "Because I uhhh, missed it."

[hollowleg]

Shiro makes a noise somewhere between a groan and a growl and snatches her phone away from her.

"Look, Chris! Do you want to learn to feed yourself like an adult or not? Are you saying you have no use for the knowledge of how to make a delicious brownie in less than five minutes?!"

Gesturing at her with the phone the whole time, of course.

Patience; not his strong suit.

[reapsthewind]

A beat.

"Not really, I've been living ok on shitty food for now...? This was your idea, Gordon Ramsay."

[hollowleg]

He's not so easily dissuaded from his path, Chris. He's still gesturing with that phone.

"But that's the whole point! You don't HAVE to. Besides, you'll save a bunch of money if you cook for yourself. And while you may be able to deny delicious brownies -- 'denial' ain't just a river in Egypt, though -- but you can't deny wanting to save some cash so you can use it for other things!"

[reapsthewind]

She's going to fold her arms, lean back against the couch--momentarily upsetting the cat, who was behind her--and stare at the ceiling for a few moments.

"I do want more combat boots..."

She looks back at him. "But I'm also a lazy fuck..."

[hollowleg]

"Well lucky for you, all of the recipes I have today take less than ten minutes and can save you money for your combat boots. So," he stuffs the brownie cup he made into the microwave and jabs the numbers. Not going to let THAT one go to waste, "Are you interested?"

[reapsthewind]

"I'm pretty sure that even if I said no, you'd hound me about it anyway, so... whatever."

[hollowleg]

"Well, let me show you this ONE thing, give you the rice cooker and show you how to use it, then I'll let you be on your way. Or you can stay while I cook dinner, whatever."

He gets the ingredients for the brownie back together as the microwave dings. He removes the mug, carefully, and lets the chocolately smell waft up to Chris's nose.

"Awww yeah. Turned out perfect. You know you want this, WITH ice cream!"

[reapsthewind]

CHOCOLATE. She grabby hands at it, and then takes a good wiff.

"... Okay, fine, I admit, that looked pretty fucking easy and it smells awesome."

[hollowleg]

"While that one cools, I'll show you how it's done. And pay attention this time! And seriously, don't eat that yet. You'll burn the crap out of your tongue. That's the big issue with using the microwave."

He gets another mug, putting the ingredients in and stirring at the right moment... and looking up after every step to make sure Chris is still watching.

"See? Wet ingredients, then dry, and just make sure everything is all good and stirred together. Then, into the microwave it goes!"

[reapsthewind]

She's actually watching this time, though it's a close thing.

"God, it's like fucking chemistry class. Y'know, there's a reason I'm a programmer, and it's because that stuff makes sense. Less... messy."

[hollowleg]

"See, I always liked chemistry. Cooking is JUST like that, except you get to make things you can eat. This makes sense, too. You just have to know how it works. Programming is totally beyond me, but I know there's logic to it." He pops the second brownie in the microwave, then tests the first with his finger. He seems to approve of the temperature, and removes a carton of vanilla ice cream from the freezer.

A scoop on top and voila! Nearly-instant deliciousness. He places a spoon in it and hands it to Chris. "Taste the fruit of THIS logic."