knights_king: (Default)
Saber (Arthur Pendragon) ([personal profile] knights_king) wrote in [community profile] savetheearth2015-02-05 07:54 pm

Action[CLOSED] -> Text [OPEN]

Who: Arthur, OPEN [Via Network]
What: Testing something out--
Where: In the mountains surrounding Neuschwanstein
When: 2/5/15, Late Night
Warnings: Introspection and orbital lasers!

[Arthur left Emilia with a text message the day before, saying he would be gone for about a day--he wanted to go visit his brother in jail and maybe meet some friends from his previous job, afterwards. That much happened, but he ended up staying away longer than he thought he would. Rather than going back right away, Arthur was left with the realization that he had no real connection to anyone, anymore. He got on with his life and developed in a way that made him barely recognizable to those people.

Kyle glowered at him between glass as Arthur asked him what kind of care package he wanted, but the conversation was largely without words. Between the two of them, there was no real enmity, but there was frustration over the matter of their father's home. Arthur won it, if only because he had no bad record of his own. Kyle had heard enough rumors of Arthur's involvement with the mafia to know what happened and what he was. For some reason, Arthur had gone into that talk with the hope that he could salvage something, but in the end he realized it was impossible. Were Arthur not a 'Numbered', Kyle might not have felt so distant.

Because, Arthur was far too calm. When confronted with monsters, murder and immense stress, seeing someone in prison behind glass didn't bother him at the least. Despite what timidity Arthur had in himself, he was still versed enough that Kyle didn't feel confident talking to him. When he left, he told Kyle to keep his chin up and for once, he laughed.

When he met his friends, he was surprised to see one of the guys from the site he saved the year before had recovered, albeit wearing a few stitches under one eye and more littering one arm. It was one of the friendliest meets he had in his life. Indulged by folks who liked him despite the rumors, Arthur left that night feeling high spirited.

It didn't make sense, though. He was beginning to become more charming and interesting to people and even despite being Numbered, anyone on the street who spoke to him and recognized didn't treat him like another Numbered. Unaware that his charisma was literally legendary, Arthur wondered if he was simply becoming an amicable person. The words, though, never found their way into his head that eloquently.

'When did people start liking me?'

This didn't sit well with him. They didn't know how he failed--how he could have helped so much more, but neglected it. He watched other people use their abilities and influence more progressively and wanted to keep out of it. The idea of being a 'hero' had worth thin with him and he didn't think it made sense, anymore.

Freely taking the portal to Germany, Arthur decided he could use time away from people in general. From what he remembered, the mountains were somewhat abundant and not as many people hiked around. There might have been a few campers at that time of night, but not enough that he could scare them off. His motivation was simple enough. Out of boredom, Arthur diddled around on his phone while waiting for Kyle and in that time, he came across the Locke City sub-reddit for rumors on the numbered. Everything he read sounded more and more ridiculous until he realized most of it was probably true, barring all the insulting things that got thrown around. He remembered when it was fiercely a place for conspiracy posting until the Numbered lost their mystique and became a real class.

'Monster' was a word that was thrown around a lot. It grated on him until he finally decided to check the literal definition of it. Maybe people were just throwing it around a lot because they were stressed out, but when he checked the definition, he felt his stomach sink.

': a powerful person or thing that cannot be controlled and that causes many problems'

Arthur rarely thought deeply if he could help it. He was happier when he took things as they came and never presented any real effort to understand them. In that, he could be remarked as somewhat dimwitted, but he didn't mind seeming that way. Arthur just wanted to avoid confrontation, even if it was just with himself.

In the end, the word still clung to his mind, refusing to let go. It was what drove him to the peak of a mountain, holding the holy sword his preincarnation had once held. The surface of the sword was blackened and hostile in comparison to before, when it had been pristine and beautiful. It still felt the same to him, but he understood why it was it had changed--he had been thrown off of the path he wanted to set himself on. Arthur wanted to be a hero, before. He thought having those powers and all courage could make him capable of helping others.

When it had all backfired and Emilia nearly died, Arthur realized how shallow that thinking was. He didn't want to be a hero. A hero could have let go of Emilia and stopped himself from killing people. Heroes were all about 'sarcifice'. In the end, he wasn't capable of that. The killing he did, the fighting and the strength he enforced over others was too much. Bit by bit, as Arthur looked over mountains, he realized how absolutely vain it was. He thought he could be a hero, but that would involve leaving Emi.

It wasn't a new idea to him. Every time he thought about helping, there was a limit to his response. He wouldn't go too far. He would stick close to her. Beyond that, his involvement would have seemed sufficient to most, but Arthur knew it wasn't at all whole-hearted. At the core of him, he wanted to stay close to her and never let her come under the same risk again. For that, Arthur was willing to let himself try something.

I can't whole-heartedly be a hero. Or a knight. Or, somebody good.

He just wanted to stay at her side and be with her as long as he could. With that, Arthur let himself finally think about his strength from the perspective of limitation. A hero protected others with their full effort, so he felt he never had shown that potential, given that he didn't want to be one, anymore. Back then, Arthur felt himself holding back continuously.

What would happen if he didn't?

Almost as if it understood what he wanted, the sword erupted in negative light. Excalibur wrapped itself in a black light that extended several feet opposite of its handle and even around his hands. It turned to a purple tint that radiated immense heat.

What can I really do?

He knew that it could be released, but he just didn't know what the effect would be. With all his might, Arthur swung his sword up, as if trying to cut the clouds above--and, he did. The clouds in the sky above split and with it, there was a pillar of black light that spear through the sky, well beyond Earth's atmosphere. The mountain rumbled, but through instinct alone, Arthur chose an upwards swing in the event that it was a powerful swing.

The end result horrified him. What had begun as a cloudy night switched to a starry sky in an instant. A pillar of dark light tore through the sky for only that small moment, but it was enough to show Arthur that he should never use that full strength. The brief exhilaration he felt was incomparable to the terror that he felt, realizing that had he bent the angle of his swing even a little lower, he could have done something irreparable.

So, he ran. Ran until he could get back to Locke. He didn't return to Emilia's house, slamming the door shut as he reached his childhood house. Arthur realized he ran the whole way without thinking. Thank god nothing happened went through his head countless times, but he still felt guilt over it. No matter what, he tested it out and realized the word 'Monster' was only scratching the surface.]

[He entered the numbers into his phone's text message contacts--]
[Private - To Emilia]

srry emi gonna be out longer

[OPEN, Public]
sorry didnt mean to send another text

[Easily a lie--Arthur had something he wanted to ask about, but years of parenting and a mean brother told him that opening himself up in any way like that was a sign of weakness. As quickly as he decided he wanted to voice it, Arthur clammed right back up and decided to just put his shoulders up and deal with it.]

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