Falling From Your Grace | [ text ]

[fatherssins]

Does anyone know of a way to suppress memories (like self-hypnosis)?

Thanks,

A.

Comments

[fatherssins]

They really do.

[ursoreckless]

is there anything that helps at all?

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[fatherssins]

Why do you care?

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[fatherssins]

Sorry, that sounded cold. I just don't understand why everyone on the network cares so much. I'm nothing to anyone here.

[ text ]

[ursoreckless]

if we stop caring, we're all gonna be picked off. if we stop acting like all this isn't real, we might as well not be in this club in the first place.

besides, it's never okay to let someone who needs help not get any.

you're one of us. i don't know what anyone else would think but to me that's just one of the reasons why i do care.

that and you're a person too and you need to be treated with the same respect i would give everyone else.

[ text ]

[fatherssins]

I didn't expect you to say that. I suppose you're right though.

I don't know what's wrong with me. My vision wasn't enlightening or informative, it was horrible. What if it's telling me I'm not the person I think I am? It's scary. I don't know what to do.

[ text ]

[ursoreckless]

are you going to let the visions rule who you are now? are you going to let them take away the life you have in order to be who you were?

look, i dreamed i was dying in flames. i think it's a shitty thing to dream about and that whoever was with me was also a bit silly. i'm not letting that dream eat away at me because that isn't who i am now.

you can accept that whatever the vision is telling might have been a past. it might have been horrible and wrong and completely dismal. but you have a different life than whatever the vision says and that is what should shape you.

i guess what i'm trying to say is don't let it eat you up. accept that it is a horrible thing but don't let it consume who you are now.

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[fatherssins]

Thank you.

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[fatherssins]

[ Some time later ]

That was a nice thing to say. You didn't even know what it was and you said those kind words. I didn't sympathise with your vision.

It's a little surprising because yours wasn't that dissimilar to mine. Only I was watching a woman burn, not myself. My clothes were different but it felt like me, and she called my name, she knew me. I didn't know what to do, I was frightened. I'm not too proud to admit that.

But now I can't stop seeing her, hearing her call for help and telling me not to hate people for what they'd done to her. I feel like I abandoned her to die, whoever she was.

[ text ]

[ursoreckless]

that's okay. you've got your reasons and i've got mine. i think it's just good to air things out instead of swallowing it up in hope it'll go away.

maybe you had no choice. maybe her sacrifice was to give you a chance to do something for the betterment of others later on. maybe you weren't strong enough to save her or maybe the you in that vision had believed her wrong about something and then realized that you were wrong but by then it was too late.

these visions we have, i think we're only getting them in bits and pieces. we're not going to know the whole stories behind them until the end and even then, i doubt it will be fully explained. we just need to figure out what to do with the pieces we've got and try not to let them drive us insane until we get the next piece.

[ text ]

[fatherssins]

What if I don't like my story?

[ text ]

[ursoreckless]

it might be your story and it might be something you'll have to remember, but you do not have to live it again. you can always take the lessons from it and make sure that it never happens again. that's what history is for - to learn the mistakes and try not to repeat them because you're scared of what may happen if you step off a path you were shown.

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[fatherssins]

What if history repeats itself?

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[fatherssins]

Sorry, I keep asking "what if"s. I think I'm just scared.

[ text ]

[ursoreckless]

we're all scared. those that act like they aren't may just be lying. all we can do at this point is take things as they come and try not to let them infect our realities.

history may repeat itself but we can always change the dance steps.