savetheearth | Don't Dare to Care About Someone [December 15, Closed]

Entry tags:

Don't Dare to Care About Someone [December 15, Closed]

Who: Lazarus "L" Lawliet and Tony Sparado
What: Hard living and seasonal contagions catch up to L at around the same time. Tony talks him into going to the doctor, but their taxi's going to have a rough time getting through a particularly chaotic riot downtown.
When: 12/15, early afternoon
Where: Starting at Willow Ridge Surveillance Center, ending (fingers crossed!) at a clinic.
Warnings: High fever hallucinations, hemming and hawing about how pneumonia is not that big of a deal.

L was happiest when he could rely on certain things in his life to be stable. Devoted to rituals, he looked forward to small, safe things he could control, secure in the knowledge that in the space he occupied, he was clean, and he was God. So much had been distracting him in the last couple of weeks; Albero was dead, but some of their worst fears had also been realized. In hindsight, he felt foolish; of course there was a power vacuum, and the riots on television only fanned the flames. PR-wise, things had backfired horrendously, and L had been working tirelessly, sometimes alongside others and sometimes alone, to fortify and secure the former boarding academy. From the outside, it still looked like a decrepit, uninteresting building that few would bother taking time out of their day to disturb, and it was certainly not a known Numbered haunt, which was, for the present at least, a huge point in their favor.

But L had been so preoccupied that he hadn't noticed the buzz in his lungs when he inhaled too deeply, the persistent cough, the tightness in his chest when he took the stairs too quickly. The irony of turning the school into a literal fortress while his body was under attack by much smaller foes wouldn't have been lost on him, except that today he woke up dizzy, shivering, and unable to reflect on very much for long. He was burning up with fever, and his shirt was drenched through with sweat, but he still pulled his sleeping bag closer around his shoulders, curling tightly into himself.

"I'm not sick," he mumbled to himself, willing the words to be true because he wanted them to be so badly. "I'm... not..." he interrupted himself with a violent coughing fit, and when he was spent in that capacity, the hand he'd used to cover his mouth was flecked with red, and he was shivering harder than ever. The sleeping bag wasn't enough, and wouldn't be. He tossed it aside, frustrated, mopping at the sweat beading on his brow.

"Some boy scout you would have been," Moises' faulty and unreliable image said, shaking his head as he leaned against the wall.

"You can't be here," L snapped, raising his voice. "Nothing hides in this room..."

"Since you killed me, you know I don't have to hide. Certainly not from you. Are you cold?" Just a voice, that time. L wasn't sure if it was better or worse.

"Yes," he murmured, the room spinning under him as he stood and closed the window.

"Hypothermia is the leading cause of death of mountain climbers and aquarium fish, and news anchors, if you remember the hill's favorite major league bottle cap," Moises' voice droned.

"...what?" L asked, bewildered.

"Better get warm, terminated fork-fringe. You'll have to meander the carbonated nostalgia if you can't alternate the splicers."

L paced for several minutes, rubbing his arms briskly, the stale air stifling him as he drew it in quick, shallow breaths. He reached for a cigarette, hand shaking as he raised the lighter... and then another solution, simple and perfect, presented itself. He pulled his sleeping bag onto the floor, bringing the flame close to a corner of it, watching the material ignite and moving his hands closer to the infant fire.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Thankfully the smoke was starting to clear, but even so Tony quickly realized L wasn't... in... there? No, no he'd definitely heard him calling, so where could he be? "L?" His tone had fallen from annoyed aggression to something considerably more concerned, as had the shirt. Getting a lung full of the still noxious air resulted in a nasty coughing fit and he was quick to tug the shirt back up over his face.

Ugh, burning feathers and nylon were some of the worst smells. Especially when mixed. The rustling and scrabbling caught his attention and drew him to the closet door. There wasn't anywhere else in the room L could be hiding, it wasn't exactly huge or heavily decorated, and look there were his fingers trying to pull it open the wrong way. Cautiously Tony took the handle to pull the door open the right way, peeking inside.

L hadn't gone and backslid, had he? He'd been doing so well, too...

"What are you...?" His eyes widened. No, something really bad was happening, L looked absolutely wrecked. Tony knelt down, roughly pressing a hand to his forehead. He was burning up, and he'd for some reason started a fire in the middle of his room. Just what the hell was going on here? "Hey, have you called a doctor?" Stupid question, of course he hadn't. Tony didn't even wait for L to answer before he was already trying to wrestle him up to where he could help him stand.

L gasped as the door was pulled away from his grasping fingers, shrinking back as light from outside spilled into the dark space. He shook his head, trying to focus on the figure outside, which wavered and blurred and split into double parts. He spoke, but his voice was indistinct and too distant for how close he was, close enough to see how wide his eyes were in his pale, worried face.

"I'm so cold..." he explained, holding his overlarge coat around his shoulders as Tony's hand pressed against his damp and alarmingly hot forehead. "No doctor... it's just a cough, just had to... hypothermia," he emphasized, gesturing vaguely at the sleeping bag as Tony pulled him to his feet. The more he spoke, the more breathless he became, wavering where he stood and struggling to fill his crackling lungs.

There were a few ever present dangers when living on the streets. Starvation, for one, and the food poisoning that could come from trying to stave that off, and infection. Lung infections were some of the most prevalent, and some of the worst. Especially when the weather started to turn and one was caught at the mercy of the elements. L wasn't quite in that position, but there were plenty of other factors playing against his health.

"It's not cold enough in here for you to have hypothermia, L," He chided gently as he adjusted L's arm over his shoulders. The sound his lungs made was intensely worrisome, Tony could recognize that a mile away. He wasn't a medical professional by any means, but he was smart enough to know that L needed one. And now. "C'mon, we'll let it air while I get you to a clinic. Shit, man, how long have you been sick?" He sounded delirious, drugs was still a possibility but he was starting to doubt that now. High fevers could make someone act a little crazy too. While he began to drag L with him he dug in his pocket for his cell, absently dialing a number as they moved.

He moved dazedly after Tony when the younger man steered him out of the room, dragging him along with one of his arms draped over his shoulder. He shook his head agitatedly, piecing together what was happening and purposely buckling his knees when Tony took out his cell phone and started talking about the clinic.

"It's just a cough," he insisted from the floor in the hallway, attempting to scoot back toward his room. "It'll work itself out. Doctors just... no doctors, if I leave and I'm not here to protect this building we could lose everything. I have to stay," he insisted, but as he got more and more worked up, his breath came in shorter gasps and his attempts to clear them with coughing didn't keep a blue tinge from starting to creep into his fingernails and lips.

"I'll just... get Mack... to bring some... medicine... easier that way..."

Tony squawked when he felt L's weight give suddenly and the phone was stuffed back in his pocket, attempt to call anyone forgotten. He was quick jump on L and drag him back away from the smoke-filled room. "Shit, L, what's gotten into you?" Yes because the best place to hang out when you're sick is a room full of noxious smoke. From lighting one's own sleeping bag on fire in... a fit or something. Tony still wasn't sure what the hell was going on with L exactly, but he was obviously not in any fit shape mentally or physically right then.

"It's a little more than a cough, L. You lit your damn sleeping bag on fire where are you even gonna rest?" He scolded, scrabbling to keep L from getting back into the smoke. Tony didn't really know what to do here, and sincerely wished he could get in touch with someone, or someone just show up and take over before L hurt himself. He didn't know what to do in a situation like this, L was in trouble and suck in the hands of a useless scared kid this wasn't good at all.

"You'll really lose everything if you burn it down, come on, knock it off. The hell's wrong with you?" Oh shit oh shit, no why is he blue that's not good he can't die here like this. "Mack!?" He barked, almost furious. "Not a chance in hell, is this what this is L? Your dealer isn't gonna help you he's going to leave you here to die you goddamned idiot. Which is exactly what you're gonna do if you don't let me get you to a hospital."

Tony was strong, but he wasn't strong enough to manhandle a still struggling Lazarus all the way down the stairs and to a hospital.

Though he struggled as Tony hauled him away from the door, the fight he put up wasn't worth much. He exhausted himself quickly, slumping against Tony's grip and panting shallowly. Pitifully, he reached the direction he wanted to go as Tony held him back, until Tony's harsh but inescapably true words. His arm went limp, and his breathing slowed as he ceased to exert himself.

"Die?" he asked, shaking his head, confused and frightened. "No, that's not what I want... Tony, I don't want that..." he didn't want to go to the hospital, either, but if the alternative was dying... was Tony being overdramatic, or was it really that bad?

"Let me get my shoes..." he murmured. "You'll... come with me? To the hospital?"

L's weakness said a lot about his condition, normally stronger than Tony he should have been able to wrest himself away from the teenager dragging him out of the smoke-filled room. But L lacked the strength to overpower him, or even enough to keep up the fight longer than a few minutes.

It was possible Tony was overreacting, but he'd never seen anyone turn blue while coughing before and couldn't imagine that it could be anything other than completely serious when it happened. "I don't want that either." He agreed, grateful that L was finally starting to hear and understand him. While at first he was starting to assume perhaps an overdose, a second peek into the room reminded him that the place was startlingly clean. L wouldn't have been able to hide drugs in there, a person couldn't hide anything in there. Which left the question: What actually was the problem?

However now that L was cooperating he was content to let him go about his way, even if it meant ducking back into the noxious smell. At least it was airing nicely with the window and door open.

"Yeah, sure. It's cold out there," He agreed, letting L go but still hovering nearby nervously. "Of course, I wouldn't make you go alone, man. I'll stay with you." Hospitals weren't exactly good memories for either of them, after all. More so with L, of course, but Tony understood.

Though L still seemed confused and uncertain about everything, putting the fear of death into him was probably a good move. It made him glad and willing to comply, as he often did when it became clear he was out of his depth and needed to relinquish control to someone else. This time, it seemed especially important, and he slunk into his room, keeping close to the wall, sitting on the bed frame and pulling on his boots.

"You won't leave? Tony...thank you..."

He tied the boots as well as he could; with Tony there, a voice of reason grounded in reality who has given him a specific goal (getting to the hospital), he was able to focus on him rather than the effects of a high fever on an overheated brain. He straightened, stood, and then reached for the antique menorah on the windowsill as a snatching, panicked afterthought, clutching it to his chest as he shuffled back out to the hallway.

"For if they make me stay there..." he mumbled. "Tomorrow night I have to light the first one. My family's gone, it's all I have of them..."

Edited (Feeling tense) 2014-12-17 02:06 (UTC)

By now Tony was starting to get used to this, L's strange compliance when things started to get hairy. It made things easier on him, that was for certain, the less he had to fight L to the hospital the better. He barely had a leg to stand on in a fight right now, anyway.

"Don't sweat it. You didn't leave me." Admittedly he didn't remember much of it, but thrashing and snapping as he had been, L still hadn't abandoned him. He'd followed L in the room, giving it another brief sweep to make certain his assessment had been correct. No drugs, not a one, even in the closet. The slightly used ashtray was the only evidence of anything not completely sterile in the room, and one probably couldn't OD on cigarettes. As far as he knew anyway.

The menorah didn't even get a sideways glance, Tony simply nodded in acceptance. Sure, it made sense, and he couldn't imagine the hospital would argue with him about it. He couldn't help a tiny twang of envy at L still having a little memento of his family to cling to, where Tony had none, but that was gone as soon as it had come. "Come on, let's get you going. You have a car...?" He can't drive like this, and Tony didn't know how. "Cab?" Should he call Richard?

Ordinarily, L would be on pins and needles if he felt like someone was scrutinizing him or his possessions too closely... but in the back of his mind, where he was still cool enough to make any sense of it at all, he dimly reckoned that, given his history, Tony wanted to rule out certain things. For better or worse, he really was that sick.

He glanced up at Tony with red-rimmed, watery eyes. "No," he confirmed. "I wouldn't... that's not how things are between us... wouldn't leave."

He coughed into his sleeve; the sound wasn't getting uglier, but it certainly wasn't getting better, either. He glanced aside, wide eyed, head tilted, as though Tony had asked him if he had a spaceship. "I don't know how to drive... no car, it'll have to be a taxi..."

He started toward the stairs, because even if calling one was necessary, they had to at least be down the drive and away from the building to avoid detection. Usually he hails cabs several blocks away, but tonight, that's not an option.

It was necessary to rule out with certainty, in case the doctors asked him questions. If there was a risk L had overdosed, he'd like to point them in the right direction faster. It could save L's life, but given that there was nothing then he had nothing to worry about in that regard.

"Exactly," Tony confirmed with a reassuring nod. Now L understood.

It didn't sound good, that cough, better to get him going right away. Tony gave a little shrug, having expected that answer. "Yeah, me either, I'll call for one." And again he took out the phone, this time to dial a cab to come pick them up, hopefully in a hurry. At least he wasn't alone in the land of not being able to drive.

Tony kept close on L's heels, not interfering but he was near enough that should L stumble he'd be able to catch him. He didn't really trust the guy's strength right now. A strong coughing fit and he might take an unfortunate tumble.

L was at an unfortunate point in his life where hard living and bad habits were catching up to him with a vengeance. He had quit hard drugs, and he'd been so good about it and determined to stay clean. Even when he was tempted, or childishly entertained the notion of calling his dealer and going back, he hadn't, even once. Maybe that was what made it sting so much, the knowledge that even though he'd given up one dangerous habit, there were other complications and ailments and consequences to cluster around and take its place, or fall over on top of him in an unstoppable, cascading, sinister domino effect.

He moved slowly and carefully, whether because he realized the necessity of it or because he was too worn out to push it and attempt speed and efficiency. He was dimly aware of Tony calling a cab, giving directions and alerting them of the situation's urgency. He only faltered once on the stairs, but with Tony's help, he regained his balance and made it to the bottom. From there, it was easier, flat ground and even footing out to the curb and beyond as they crossed the street and waited for the promised cab.

Unfortunately just quitting wasn't a get out of debt free card. L had a lot of back pay in the form of damage done to his body to make up for, and while he might have extended his own life it still wouldn't be without some consequences. Such as still having a weakened immune system. But this one didn't have to be fatal, so long as L let Tony get him the help he needed quickly enough.

Tony stuck by his side the whole time, nervously alert to their surroundings for anything that might appear troublesome. So far, so good, and look! The cab was right on time. Quickly he ushered L into the back, letting the driver know where they were going as he did so.

It was crazy, how quickly things could change. Even the day before, L had been attempting to joke with Shou, ignoring a cough and startling fatigue. Overnight, and into the afternoon, he'd worsened to this point, spiking a fever, an undernourished and unprepared immune system flailing ineffectively against an aggressive infection. Had Tony not happened by, it was likely that even if weren't for the fire, L would have gotten worse and faced whatever outcome completely alone.

He was glad that Tony had arrived, so glad that the possibility of it being too late didn't even occur to the detective while he leaned on Tony when needed as they made their shuffling way out to the street. The cab driver eyed them with clear concern as Tony helped L into the back seat, where he leaned his warm head against the cool window and instantly attained a halo of fog.

"Hospital?" the driver confirmed, eyeing L and then starting the car's engine. "I gotta warn you, kid... the streets are really bad tonight. There are riots downtown and so the two of you might have to hold on awhile until we can get through."

Astounding how quickly an illness could roll downhill, wasn't it? Tony was lucky, he'd always been fairly healthy even when he was under nourished. That wasn't to say he'd never been sick, he absolutely had, he'd just been fortunate enough to have avoided anything as extreme as pneumonia and the like. It really was fortunate he'd come by when he had, and that he was able to react as quickly as he had as well. If the infection didn't get him, the fumes from that smoke might have.

Thank goodness the driver had gotten to them so quickly. Tony scrambled in after L, making sure they both had their seat belts (safety first) fastened before ducking down a tad. He was still nervous about cars, everything he'd been through and cars still bothered him. Sheesh. "Yeah, wait, whadd'ya mean?" Oh, oh no, the riots, that's right. "Well," A nervous glance over at L. There was no other choice. "We're gonna have to chance it. You gonna be alright?" He lightly prodded at L to make sure he was still paying attention.

It certainly put a lot into sobering perspective. Health was something that L had always taken for granted; with a high tolerance to pain, hunger and exhaustion, he was accustomed to pushing his long-suffering body to its limits. He was even impressed with the abuse and neglect it was capable of withstanding up to a certain point, but the fact was that he wasn't strong enough for it.

He mumbled an indistinct response as Anthony nudged him, eyes half-closed as he pulled his coat more tightly around his shoulders before doubling over and coughing hideously.

"Awful night to be sick. Maybe should have called an ambulance, at least they have sirens and people move out of the way for them. Then again, might still come to that," the driver said, glancing uncertainly in the rearview mirror as he started driving toward the center of the city.

"Is it really that bad?" Admittedly, Tony had been laying low since the whole thing. His aggression was too much of a problem, one wrong trigger and he'd be trying to put himself in the line of fire again. But now wasn't the time for hiding, L needed help and he was the only one there to give it to him. Though, admittedly, he was still thinking he probably should have called someone else instead.

They'd have a better handle on the situation than he would after all.

"Guess we're stuck either way." Unafraid of catching L's illness Tony chose to sit beside, him, offering what little warmth he could in addition to the coat while they rode. Who knows, maybe he couldn't even get sick anymore.

"I wish I had better news for you, kid, but it's a mess. Cops have blocked off some sections of the street, and even the back roads are touch and go. I'll get you as close as I can; the second I hear gunshots or someone lobs a molotov cocktail at the cab, though, I gotta turn around. You might have to settle for one of the smaller clinics in the city if it's too bad."

"Please turn up the heater..." L said, teeth chattering.

The cab driver turned it off. "I can feel the heat coming off you. Not like I'm a doctor or anything, but my kids have had the whole fever-chills thing; believe me when I say you don't want to get warmer."

L's murmured protest died quickly on his lips as Tony sat closer to him.

The taxi driver snorted, rolling down his window. "Listen. You can actually hear them tearing up this city from here."

"Shit..." Tony muttered softly under his breath. He couldn't walk L anywhere, and anyone else would have just as much trouble with the traffic. "That'll have to do, hell even a small clinic he just needs to be seen." It was getting pretty dire, L felt like a furnace and yet kept saying he was cold.

Was that why he lit the fire?

"Hang tight, we'll get you some help alright?" Tony didn't want to admit just how worried he was about L, but he really couldn't hide that it was etched all over his face. Dying in a cab, from a fever, would be a most undignified way to go. He perked up to listen intently to the sounds outside. Yeah that... didn't sound good.

"The hell is wrong with people," He grumbled. "Shit's a mess. I don't know where all the clinics are, but if you've got one in mind it's better than nothing."

Tony's voice sounded much further away than it was to the delirious man. L's mouth formed words imprecisely and he ultimately failed to give them voice; they came out slurred and strange.

"I'm not arguing with you," the driver said, glancing in the rearview mirror, the situation's intensity not lost on him. "There's a small clinic kind of close to here. It was closed for a little while because of some vandal shit, something about gasoline on the outside of it like it was the target of some arsonist's nasty plot, but they're open again now. They might be your best bet."

Hang in there, L, don't give up just yet. Were it not absolutely necessary for him to keep calm, Tony would probably have been having a meltdown of concern for L's condition right then. But he had to keep it together, had to make the safest call.

Tony perked up. "I know that place," He'd actually saved it? Got shot in the face for his efforts, but still. "Yeah, that'll work just fine." In the back of his mind he seriously wished he'd brought his sword with him. If they did get caught in a riot he probably could have scared them off. Or maybe got himself lit on fire... really a tough call.

"Hold on, kids..." the driver warned, doing a sharp U-turn; no one had ever died in his cab and he was particularly proud of this fact. He wanted to keep it that way. As he turned, L's head and shoulders lolled sideways, causing him to lean heavily against Tony.

"You know it? Good. Seems like a pretty nice place. Hopefully they're not too busy tonight with fallout from the riots, though I don't think you'll have trouble being seen." Not five minutes later, they were at the very place Tony had been shot trying to defend.

"If you want help getting him inside, you'd better leave a good tip," he offered.

Did people often die in cabs? Don't tell Tony about that, he'd rather not know right now. The last thing he could handle would be watching L die, and as far as he was concerned L wasn't going to die. Not on his watch, damn it all.

Tony didn't budge, just let L rest on him while they drove and did his best to keep his friend stable and somewhat awake. "Hopefully," Tony murmured, distracted by keeping an eye on L. He didn't look good, not at all, and he was understandably worried. L was family to him, it would be wrong to lose him to something as stupid as illness.

Once they'd stopped Tony went to work freeing L, then paused at the mention of a tip to dig out his wallet. "Huh? I think I can get him, he's not that heavy..." But he really wouldn't mind the help, and the haphazard way he just tossed some cash at the driver said as much. L was his top priority, he didn't even care if he'd tipped him way too much. Just had to get him inside and seen.

The cab driver scrabbled after the the cash Tony tossed at him, stuffing it in the glove compartment. "Kid! Kid, hey, hold on..." he jumped out, going around to L's side and starting to haul him out. "Chrissakes..." he mumbled when that was startlingly easy and L spilled out of the cab in a tangle of scrawny limbs.

"...qodam avuhon di bishmayya, vʼimru amen... L slurred breathlessly; his coughing had grown less frequent and quieter due to exhaustion, but the downside was that they were filling up faster with fluid.

"Steady... kid!" the cab driver urged, "get his other side..."

Once they were inside, the receptionist shot to her feet; though the waiting room was relatively full, the hue of L's skin was alarming enough to propel him to the top of the list. "What's the matter?" she asked, directing her question to the cab driver.

He raised his hands, leaving Tony to deal with supporting L. "I'm just the taxi driver, lady. Pneumonia, I guess?" He was starting to get uncomfortable. "I... shit, I gotta go. Sorry. Uh, happy Hanukkah," he added, glancing at the menorah L was still clutching before he took his awkward leave.

A nurse charged out into the waiting room with a wheelchair, prying L away from Tony and situating him. "We can only let family back with him," she said. "We have magazines, if you want to just..."

L shook his head back and forth, fingers latching onto Tony's jacket pocket and pulling. "Brother..."

The nurse looked at the opposite colors of their hair doubtfully. "Really?" she asked, directing her question at Tony.

Tony was quick to duck under L's arm, throwing it over his shoulders as he helped to haul him to his feet and steady him. Thankfully, L was rather on the light side and between the two of them it wouldn't be any trouble to drag him in to the clinic.

It wasn't even any trouble to take the additional weight when the cab driver decided now was the time to take off. Couldn't really blame him, L looked like the walking dead and he'd done his part. He got them to the hospital and even helped them in. "Uh, hey thanks," He hollered as the driver made his swift retreat, completely honest. Guy didn't have to help so much after all.

It was all happening so fast, the driver left, another nurse appeared with a wheelchair and L was being pulled away. Tony told to stay behind... then L said perhaps the most startling thing he'd ever heard. Brother?

The shock was easy enough to conceal, given that at the moment he looked to be in a constant state of shock. Quickly he nodded in agreement, then added: "Albino, I got the short straw." He gave a helpless little shrug and a nervous grin. "We should go." He added, hoping his excuse would be good enough for them. Thank goodness L had mentioned that to him once before.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject