savetheearth | Thirty-Second Message [Video

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Thirty-Second Message [Video | Sheet of Paper]

[Well, he actually accomplished something this past week.

Taxing enough to get to that point, a part of his head's stil hiding itself repeating Please smite me, o mighty smiter for any time it's wasted, unnecessary attention it's drawn, or damage it could've caused by virtue of it not being an impossibility, but accomplished it was.

On the note of it being taxing, then, he's forced himself mentally tied before the feed. Suck it up, bite the bullet.

Swallows, and connects visually once he speaks up. Apologetically wheezing to carry on smoothly as he's breathing, as much as is possible. Wincing a bit connecting now so soon after the last connection, with the way it went, but freezes it out when he opens his jaw.]

It's -- Anthony Janvier. [Coughs.] -- A-a-again; excuse me.

[And... this should be simple enough to finally get said, best go on and say it - drat it, though, why is he a constant string of unhappy admissions - ]

I've uh -- been blind. Since -- March, uhmm. -- Completely. I can't -- read text, I... don't have a screenreader, which is because I... [Tone's sagged to scrape awkwardly low.] ...don't have a computer.

-- O-of my own, and I can't -- afford one. People offer -- people offer to, uh - to help me with - everything often; I'd want - I'd want to be able to earn, umm...?

[It. Or anything else for that matter; hopefully that's coming through.

Tone is low, still. Less scraping and more anxiously buzzing in a thread.]

If -- I do -- I do -- want. To change that. It's only I err - [Coughs, voice shocks hushed.] - ...need some advice, or --

I know um. L -- hires us; don't know what I - what I could possibly do, and it sounds like -- has enough. People who are better -- fits...

If there's any -- if anyone knows anything else I could do I would -- I would be so, so grateful. Er - hearing it; thanks, umm. [Gulp.] -- Thanks for your time; I'm sorry for all the -

[Riding a rather flustered sigh.] - all the talking -- com - complaining. Lately...

[And cut. Just about eagerly.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If you really want advice, I'm not going to soften it; I know you resent it when that happens, and frankly it doesn't tend to work anyway.

I'm in a position to help people now for one reason only: I accepted help. My advice is for you to accept mine. The worst that can happen is that you actually are useless, and you already feel that way, so there really is nowhere to go but up in this case.

There isn't really any room for me -- [He said, speaking for the person who would know.]

Is that right? Have you seen for yourself that there's no room?

[This is a mean question; you bet he knows it is.]

[And it takes Anthony a moment, a yank to a halt but he gets it. He's being made fun of, he's got it coming - release.]

No but - [He had that coming - self-flustered huff, quick swallow.] I can't apologize enough, sir, I don't know what's -

[Yes, he knows what's coming over him.]

- I promise, it -- it-it isn't that I'm not grateful for your, umm...? [Why does he feel as if he needs to pick his words carefully here - the first one that comes to mind is:] - Generosi -- ty.

I know you're grateful. That's not the issue.

The issue is that you'd be receiving more than you're contributing. It would mean you'd be a burden, and in truth, you would be. You see that as a problem; I see it as a starting point worth enduring. What matters is that we agree that you want to improve and find ways to work around your difficulties.

[See, there, L, you get the point.]

It -- isn't fair to you though, or to - or to anyone else working - [A shake in the quick 'n even stammer.] - there; I don't know that there isn't -- ! [That one more overt a crack, lord, why is he shaking up this much - ] - any other way I could -- ...

[Hopes he can stop himself there; surely that's another point sufficiently articulated.]

Uh... you're... really blind now?

[Rakka's tone was curious, as well as worried after she listened to all of Anthony's message.]

[Rakka? He stops himself up a moment - catches her tone, clears her throat to bind his own up as close to casually, conversationally light as possible - ]

-- I-I am...! Since - March. Completely. [An unnecessary repetition but what have you. He stiffly drops a hand down across his eye sockets.] -- I lost an eye in December and the -- other one in the snake attack. And, um. ...Since then...

You... you did?

[Shock. Wow, this was news to her.]

I didn't know! I'm sorry...

Er -- no...! I - tried not -- going into it; I'm -- sorry. I'm umm.

[Muffled, close-throated noise, it's not really a cough or a clear - more of a duck-and-hide verbal stall and apologetic cringe.]

'Mm only mentioning it now since -- 'll probably make things harder if I don't. I know it's -- it's my problem.

[Dries out softer, intended as an additional apology for suddenly announcing something like that.]

Oh, uh....

[She didn't know what to say to that. He was apologizing, but so was she.]

Uh, okay? What do you mean, it'll make things harder?

-- Harder to, uh -- work around it; excuse me...

I mean ermm -- [What does he mean, exactly...] -- there's too much I'll miss - if I - keep, um. Keep trying to -- avoid it; I erm.

[Shallower.] I know it's - selfish... uhh -- but-but I, uh -- can't - really ask anyone for help -- working -- around the fact that I... can't use text if I um. Hide -- the reason.

[That may or may not have been much clearer.]

Blind, really?

You know for someone who's blind you seem to be pretty good at getting around. I mean, you made it to that party the other day, right?

[A low, conversational-laugh exhaling sound.] I get help. With the getting around - and uh - I've had time to uhmm - adjust, to it.

With erm. With help with that too - I mean - adjusting. Learning to, uh - make up - compensate. For it. I'm happy if it, uhh... doesn't seem, to be... interfering much... [He has lightened up a bit here.]

Er -- if it doesn't. -- I mean.

[He's still not the most graceful thing, but that's probably not something anyone expects of a zombie anyhow.]

[She can't help but giggle a little at that.]

Hey, what's important is that you've been able to adjust and get around. I'm sure none of your friends mind giving you a hand. We've all gotta stick together, right?

[ That? That is some serious horror movie shit right there. The sight of him is stomach-churning, so Alex hurriedly shuts the video off.

And that would be the end of that, except he's morbidly curious, the way one is about grisly accidents. ]

That —

[ Alex doesn't have all that much in the way of a brain to mouth filter, but he does manage to stop himself from saying rotting, foetid roadkill. ]

The way you are now, is that a pulse?

[That this is a voice he's not conversed with thus far gives him initial calibrate-yourself pause for a moment - lack of strong words or violent reaction however maintains a hopeful reaction for how a politely soft response will go over, if still ambivalently stalling and padding off at words' ends.]

-- Several, sir, um. Ac -- tually.

You were normal before, right? Now look at you. You're —

[ decomposing ]

— blind, you've got these.... these empty eye sockets.

[Oh surely there's no need to dodge the "decomposing" bit.]

Umm, the -- the eyes weren't - exactly a pulse, though... that was - they were - [That's not entirely true.] - one was an accident...

I - I was normal, umm. [Drops drier.] Yes.

[ If the universe were unkind to Alex Mercure, he'd be having a hell of a pulse right now. Several, in fact. But for whatever reason, these have come few and far between for him, and so he simply shudders. ]

If you lost one conventionally, I suppose there's no helping it. But... honestly. Why don't you leave? Just... just shamble [ there goes that filter ] outside of the echo barrier?

[Lord, the full answer is something he'd rather not attempt to prattle over - ]

I'd -- uh. Just - come back -- [It ends just short of inflecting as a question - is that an acceptable answer enough on its own?]

[ He's heard that people who leave on purpose to lose their echoes often return to Locke City because they can't remember why they left. ]

Write yourself a note.

[ ... ]

Er, or a voice message. Anything. Cos that's no way to live. Er, die. Be dead, or undead, or whatever it is you call it.