savetheearth | 7th ♒ Video

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7th ♒ Video

[The feed clicks on and it shows none other than Eri Ampora. He takes his time staring into the feed, not exactly looking sure of himself, or at all comfortable. He shifts in his seat, before folding his arms over his chest. Eventually, he huffs, looking off to the side. Whatever he has to say, it isn't easy.]

In light a all the attacks goin' on to those far less fortunate than I, an' are you ewer less fortunate...

[Another uncomfortable shift, but he seems set on saying whatever it is he has to say.]

I'd like to extend a offer - charity to the wictims of the Mafia attacks. I feel, seein' as we're all in this together... No matter how shitty some of you are...

[Octavia... Alan... etc....]

We're on the same team, an' therefor I ought to take a more actiwe role in this whole--[a circular hand motion]--thing.

[He almost sounds defeated saying that, like someone is forcing him, but surprisingly to probably most, that's not the case here!]

If you're needin' some allowance to get by, I suppose I can help a handful a you there. An' I guess if some of you'we lost your home and are otherwise street bound... I could offer you lodging, so long as you ain't fuckin' smelly or dirty, I'we my limits.

[He pauses for a good few seconds, shrugging with a long suffering sigh.]

So speak the fuck up while I'm in this generous mood, unless you fancy eatin' outta trashcans.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

yeah I dont need your charity Octavia can help me with the money shit and Ive already got a place to stay. which is good because theres no way in hell Id want to stay with you.

wwoww i wwasnt offerin this to you i fuckin KNOWW tavv has you covvered
and besides it aint like id be able to stand you that long nor wwould you be grateful ANYWWAY

Are you for fucking real right now.

of course i am!
WWHAT dont think i can be generous or suchlike
wwell ill let you knoww i can in FACT be fuckin generous as FUCK

Only if you can 8e generous PU8LICALLY and have people lining up to 8e all like "ooh Eri ooh give me money please let me de8ase myself in front of you ooh."
It is so o8vious! You are powertripping on this shit.
Kind of distasteful! And cheap. And tacky!

WWOWW fuck off that AINT wwhy im doin this
think you might be projectin a little my intentions are entirely NOBLE

[wwhat a liar.]

No8le my perfect ass!
You are trying to set yourself up as a hero without putting in none of the work. And that 8n't going to cut it!
8eing a hero isn't a8out grudgingly throwing cash at people. It is a8out fighting for things you 8elieve in and wearing sweaty wife8eaters and kicking ass and 8eing a street tough maverick with nothing to lose!
8n't no8ody getting fooled 8y your dum8ass display, chump. :::;)

wwoww that has NOTHIN to do wwith bein a hero
wwhy the FUCK wwould i need a swweaty wwifebeater?? thats HARDLY necessary at bloody all
lets be fuckin real here bein some romanticized fakey fake hero dont get you anywwhere and wwhat actually matters is money in a wworld wwhere money is key to EVVERYTHIN so wwhat im doin is far more helpfulthan wwhatevver rubbish youre prattlin on about

Oh, ok. Ok! You are right. How could I have 8een so inuttera8ly 8lind!
8r8, 8uying Alan a new mom. May8e two. Do you think if I pay a little extra they'll throw in a dad for half price????????

hey fuck you i aint sayin money can bring back the dead and i can sympathize havvin lost a mom ok?!
but the reality is this: money makes copin and SURVVIVVIN a wwhole lot fuckin easier and it takes a lot of stress off
so fuck you

Money can suck a dick!
When we were fugitives me and Alan didn't have no money half the time and things were still pretty gr8. And we didn't have shitty-haired assholes with dum8 eye8rows telling us that we could have ~*~*an allowance*~*~ if we 8egged for it!
8OOM. That was your entire argument going up in flames and then exploding.
NO SURVIVORS.

i nevver said anyone had to beg and i dont givve twwo shits howw your fugitivve hobo advventures wwent because THAT DONT MATTER WWORTH SHIT RIGHT NOWW
im just tryin to help in the only wway i really knoww howw so just
piss off!!!

Rofl. I guess if that is the only way you can possi8ly help, I should 8e less hard on you!
It can't 8e easy. 8eing completely useless. And pathetic. And weak! ::::)
Man. I really should cut you some slack. I feel so incredi8ly super terri8le right now.
Please imagine that I am patting your head in a supportive and totally not p8tronizing kind of way. You are welcome.

[ Know what helps you cope with stress better than piles of money, Eri? RIPPING ON PEOPLE WHO ONLY KINDA SORTA HALF-DESERVE IT ]

[GROOOAN! Does he regret letting that slip? Yes, Yes he does.]

oh sod OFF I wwas bein dramatic
I BLOODY KNOWW HOWW ELSE TO HELP
i offered to help your retarded boyfriend in killin those mafia motherfuckers didnt i?
so i dont need your fake ass pity or your bullshit patronizing you stupid bitch

Edited 2014-07-27 16:05 (UTC)

Ouch! Sounds like I hit a nerve there, 8ro. So touchy.
Don't 8e mad! It is perfectly ok to 8e as weak and helpless as a new8orn 8a8y. 8n't no8ody going to judge you for it.
Wel ok SOME people will. And they might make incredi8ly cruel jokes a8out impotence and stuff. 8ut I am sure you can just ignore them!
They don't know nothing. And I am sure you will totally 8e a8le to kill ALL those mafia goons, sport. I am rooting for you, champ. Insert 8ullshit platitude here, patronizing pet name. ::::)

you WWISH you struck a nervve im a bit more impenetrable than that
givve me some fuckin credit here tavv
also ill havve you knoww im fuckin TALENTED wwith a gun itll be nothin
wwell uh once i get past the wwhole them bein livvin breathin human beings and wwhatnot but really keep it up and i might just accidentally shoot you in your massivve ass
itll be a honest mistake wwhat wwith you bein as annoyin and frustratin as these douchebag mafia members
though i guess the fact your ass could eclipse the sun wwould havve somethin to do wwith it too
but then again youre all about shootin asses aint ya

Edited 2014-07-27 16:23 (UTC)

Impenetra8le, eh. Sounds like a cue for a joke a8out your virginity to me! Good thing for you that I am waaaaaaaay too classy for that. :::;D
And for your inform8tion I h8ve shot ONE ass. EV8R. 8y accident!
Which means I have officially killed more dudes than I have shot asses.
I have mentioned that 8efore, right? The fact that I have legit killed some 8ad guys 8efore? For real????????
Not that it is a 8ig deal. For actual real genuine heroes with tiny compact asses! Like me.

wwait are you sayin if you WWERENT classy youd wwant to penetrate me?
is that wwhat youre implyin BECAUSE uh thats a bit uh
WWEIRD
thats all fine and good if you like penetratin alans ass or wwhatevver but dont include me in that i aint interested
also wwhat the fuck wwhy are you braggin ovver bein a murderer?
thats not a thing to be proud of i mean sure theyre baddies but you just sound like a bloody sociopath
a sociopath wwith a fat ass

8H MY G8D I MEANT IN A GENERAL S8NSE N8T TH8T I WANT TO PEG Y8U OH MY G8D.
(8ut just fyi don't make out you wouldn't 8e interested when we 8oth know you would 8e all over that shit. Your protest8tions are as lame as your hair.)
And just fyi I 8n't a murderer! It was self defense.
Those terri8le 8ad guys were going to shoot me!
I just thought I should mention that the last people to point guns at me are dead. In case there are any gun-toting douche8ags near8y who think they are intimid8ting in the least.

so you aint denyin that you peg alan then?
fuckin gross
(and just so you knoww i aint into that freaky kinky shit aint no wwoman gonna peg me)
murder is murder is murder dumbass self defense or not you still killed them theyre fuckin dead and they wwere people wwith livves
corrupt livves sure but livves
and the fact you can so easily dismiss that is DISGUSTIN

[Honestly he's only hung up on this because he agreed to kill these people. He's just kinda psyching himself out, and isn't sure how to handle this. so clearly humanizing them will help!]

I D8N'T PEG ANY8ODY 8SPECI8LLY N8T Y8U (8UT I C8ULD IF I W8NTED T8)!!!!!!!!
GOD.
And you c8n judge me AFTER you h8ve 8een shot t8 death once alre8dy! Until then y8ur opinions are invalid. Inv8lid and dum8 and uneduc8ted! Like YOU.
If people value their lives then they sh8uldn't m8ss with m8! IT IS TH8T SIMPLE.

ok wwhatEVVER helps you sleep at night you assfuckin psychopath

Oh look. You seem to 8e messing with me!
And I sure did just detail EXACTLY what happens to people who mess with me.
You are lucky that I am feeling particularly unmurderous l8ly! How incredi8ly fortun8 for you.
Why, I am even feeling HELPFUL. Helpful and 8enevolent and nice as fuck. I am totally wishing that there was more understanding 8etween us right now.
8ut the only way we could really understand each other would 8e if (for example) I could somehow force you into loading your dum8 peashooter gun. And going to places where the mafia might 8e. And then making you shoot them!
That would show you how easy murder is. And if I know the mafia, it would also show you what it feels like to have a gun pointed at you! Right?
Man. This is such a good idea. If only I had some totally 8adass mind control powers so that I could make it actually happen.

you wwouldnt

Of coooooooourse I wouldn't.
Only an assfuckin psychopath would ever do such a terri8le thing!
And I am sure that we can 8oth agree that I am a8solutely not one of those. Wow.
Right, Eriiiiiiii? ::::)

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

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7th ♒ Video

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