Yuri Tsukikage | Lily Tsukuyomi [StE AU] (
alilyinthemoonslight) wrote in
savetheearth2014-07-20 11:31 am
closed;
Who: Lily, Winter
What: Lily's got a... request? Question? She needs to ask something.
When: July 20th, 2014, Evening
Where: Approaching the Tsukuyomi household
This shouldn't be so difficult. It really shouldn't! Lily knows this. She understands this, and yet for weeks now she'd had this one, simple question on the tip of her tongue... yet couldn't seem to spit it out. It's not like it's something she'd expect to ruin matters. It's not even like it was something which was... ah, that question.
Still, it was constantly left dead on her tongue. Weeks of false starts in beginning to bring it up, before wildly veering off onto another subject. She shouldn't be this nervous, not with this person. Especially in light of everything that was going on, she knows that there's a degree she needs to focus on the better, normal things in her life.
Plus, now her father was looming over her and starting to ask her about it just about every other day, so... She knew she had to ask. She needed to give him an answer just as much. Thus, why she had dragged Winter out on a date for which Lily had... spent the entire time managing to talk around the subject she needed to bring up, spending a lot of time discussing their plans for the fall college semester. Avoiding talk on the pressures currently mounting on them. Everything, really... except where the hell she'd be staying.
Really, she'd just been trying to work up to it! As she's walking up to the door to her house, of course, she's realizing she sort of neglected to ever get to the point.
Sighing in sudden defeat, she bites her lip. No, she had been determined when she set out on this, she needs to see it through.
Thus, without even entering the house she suddenly stops and spins around, blocking Winter's path.
"Ah, listen... Winter. I keep sort of... well, trying to figure out how to do this, but I kind of had a reason for asking you out tonight." She clenches her eyes shut. "And I've... had a bit of trouble working up the nerve to bring it up, so I've defeated the purpose of doing that in the first place..."
What: Lily's got a... request? Question? She needs to ask something.
When: July 20th, 2014, Evening
Where: Approaching the Tsukuyomi household
This shouldn't be so difficult. It really shouldn't! Lily knows this. She understands this, and yet for weeks now she'd had this one, simple question on the tip of her tongue... yet couldn't seem to spit it out. It's not like it's something she'd expect to ruin matters. It's not even like it was something which was... ah, that question.
Still, it was constantly left dead on her tongue. Weeks of false starts in beginning to bring it up, before wildly veering off onto another subject. She shouldn't be this nervous, not with this person. Especially in light of everything that was going on, she knows that there's a degree she needs to focus on the better, normal things in her life.
Plus, now her father was looming over her and starting to ask her about it just about every other day, so... She knew she had to ask. She needed to give him an answer just as much. Thus, why she had dragged Winter out on a date for which Lily had... spent the entire time managing to talk around the subject she needed to bring up, spending a lot of time discussing their plans for the fall college semester. Avoiding talk on the pressures currently mounting on them. Everything, really... except where the hell she'd be staying.
Really, she'd just been trying to work up to it! As she's walking up to the door to her house, of course, she's realizing she sort of neglected to ever get to the point.
Sighing in sudden defeat, she bites her lip. No, she had been determined when she set out on this, she needs to see it through.
Thus, without even entering the house she suddenly stops and spins around, blocking Winter's path.
"Ah, listen... Winter. I keep sort of... well, trying to figure out how to do this, but I kind of had a reason for asking you out tonight." She clenches her eyes shut. "And I've... had a bit of trouble working up the nerve to bring it up, so I've defeated the purpose of doing that in the first place..."

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Except, on Lily's doorstep, the girl spins and starts to speak. Winter, walking next to her, has no time to react and bumps lightly into her, bouncing away and looking up as she speaks. And... just blinking for a second. What in the world's going on here?
"You know you can ask me anything, Lily. I want you to, if it's eating you this badly. Please, tell me... what's on your mind." She reaches out a gentle hand to Lily's arm, hoping to calm her enough to help the words flow.
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So she takes a breath, and nods a bit.
"R-right, of course... Sorry, Winter. It's just been stressful lately, and..." Another sigh. "That's why I've been talking about college things all night. There are important things we have to do, but... we need to also not let ourselves get so carried away we sort of forget our lives are here, right? We've already let ourselves do that once, and..."
Jasmine failed. Lily was injured. They all spent weeks leaping over emotional hurdles before starting to drag themselves back out.
"...okay. Here goes." She takes a deep breath. "This is something I'd been talking about with Dad for awhile. He... wanted to do something special for my graduation." Something which had floored her from the start but the why of that doesn't need to be discussed now. "For... moving on, starting my life, really. He's kind of seen it, in a way I didn't realize before, how I kept putting everyone in this family ahead of me, trying to take care of them..."
She gulps a bit. Dammit, why is she starting to feel misty all of a sudden? She wipes her eyes a bit, before reaching out for one of Winter's hands. "So it's not like he wants me gone, but he knows I'm going to be, so we... had a talk, and he wants to help me get my own place. He's... actually been working on it, too - I'd have to get a job to help cover things of course, but th- there's one other part of that..." She bites her lip again, as she feels her face heating up. Her eyes dart away a bit, somewhat wildly, while her speech becomes rapidly uneven. "I- I'd probably, kind of, sort of... n-need a roommate to help out, too..."
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She listens patiently, nodding as Lily goes. It did make sense that she'd need a place to live while she went to college; Lily would work best not being able to get tangled up in her father and sister's problems, on top of her girlfriend's problems and the network. Although she'd been wondering how to handle that herself, and-
-wait. Wait a second. What... what did Lily just say? She'd need a roommate? And a job, of course, but that made sense too. She expected that to become an issue for herself, soon. But Lily... was she offering what Winter suddenly thought she was offering? Oh, oh God, her throat's dry now, this isn't going to end well, is it?
"You... yes, I t-think you would. That would be important. Housing is still expensive, and..." She cuts herself off for a second, lest her babbling get the best of her. "Um. How... how many roommates were you looking to have?"
Please let it be one, please let it be one, or she can just kiss me or laugh at me or something because that was a really stupid question...
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"W-well, not many- I, um."
Dammit, Lily.
Just spit it out.
A cough.
"Just one!"
...probably didn't need to shout that, though. Her face is red as a beet now, and she looks a bit like she wants to hide it but knows she has no real way to.
"Just... just one. It's- it won't be a big place. Really... k-kind of small, actually, but..." She shakes her head to try and clear it and makes an aggravated sound. "Dammit, I'm being stupid. Winter, would you... be be willing to do that? Move in with me...?"
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It's very much another that Lily just asked her to move into a dwelling that will actually be just the two of them. And it's making her head spin a little.
She wants this. She can feel that humming across every nerve in her body. But... is she ready for it? Can she really say yes and be confident she won't hurt Lily somehow along the way? There were so many variables, and she's attracted too much attention, and-
-no. No, that's not correct. Winter Adamas does not run from things she wants because they're scary. Not anymore. And if she's being honest, there are very few people she trusts enough to keep as close as Lily is proposing. The list is short enough to be counted on her two hands, and the purple-haired girl standing in front of her tops it. So she nods, ever so slightly, before taking half a step forward and wrapping her arms around Lily's waist, resting her chin on Lily's shoulder and whispering as closely into her ear as she can manage with the height difference. "Silly girl. Did you... really have to ask? Of course I would."
She's shaking. She honestly wasn't expecting this, and the adrenaline is doing weird things to her. But she wants this. She wants this more than she really knows how to say, and she's going to make sure Lily knows that.
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"Thank you, Winter. It won't be easy," she murmurs, her own tone dropping in pitch as well. "It's... a lot of responsibility, but... I want this. If it's with you, then it means so much more than just being on my own... because then, it won't just be mine. It'd be... ours..."
One could ask just how long they were going to stand at the front door like this, but Lily doesn't particularly care at that point. Having Winter close was hardly a new feeling, but she wants nothing more than to have that then. As silly as she did feel for stumbling over her words to ask, it was a big deal - a new, physical commitment that went beyond where they stood now. Actual, honest to goodness proof that Lily wasn't kidding when she said she wanted to stay with Winter for as long as she could - with an address and everything. It wasn't something to really be taken lightly.
So, she wants her close in that following moment, as much as possible.
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But together with Lily... they'd already said before that nothing would stop the two of them together. She believed that wholeheartedly. And this was her chance to prove it, to Lily, to herself... to the world. Winter Adamas and Lily Tsukuyomi would become an irresistible force, and this was another step along that path. They'd continue to build an unbreakable bond between them.
"Together... everything will be all right, Lily. I'm sure of it."
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She pulls her head back a bit, raising one hand so that it rests on Winter's cheek. Not putting any distance between them but making it so she can look her in the eyes, though this this ends up with there not being a terrible lot of distance between their faces. "We can look at the places Dad was eyeing tomorrow, then. Like I said, it won't be big, but if it's just the two of us..."
Just staring at her, her heart swells tremendously. It's a moment untainted by all of the things that had been weighing down on them of late. It's just the two of them, and something just for them both. It's enough she has possibly the stupidest grin ever uncontrollably plastered on her face, even as her eyes are watering. She's about as happy as can be... and their proximity to one another's becoming all the more apparent as she gently bumps her forehead into Winter's. "Fair warning, right now I sort of feel like if I kiss you for this I'm not going to stop for awhile."
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She'd noticed Lily was acting weird the last few days; enough to worry her a little, but she trusted Lily to come out and say what needed to be said. And it'd happened, in grand fashion. This was very much a valid thing to be worried about, even if she already knew she'd be right behind her most important person.
She giggles lightly as Lily warns her of what's to come. "I don't think that's... something I'm worried about. Do your worst," she challenges lightly, unconsciously shifting a little closer.
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Here and now, it doesn't really matter anyhow. Lily should have learned long ago she needs to not be too terribly worried when it came to asking Winter certain sorts of questions. All things told, it seemed to generally pan out. This... she's worried about the other things rumbling about. The murders in Vegas, the mafia's movements of late, the media... They are all things to be worried about, but...
If she makes those things her only focus, and doesn't live her life, what is she fighting to reach on the other side, anyhow?
That in mind, she takes what she has here and now, the other girl in her arms, and tilts her face up as she just smiles and leans down. If her happiness barely seemed contained on her expression, it's not held back in the slightest as their lips meet, in a kiss that starts soft but very quickly escalates on Lily's end, as if trying to express every ounce of love and joy she's feeling right then and there.
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Lily grins against her mouth mid-kiss and slightly untrue to her word, breaks it only because she feels the sudden need to take a sharp breath in, but doesn't go far. "I really don't deserve you," she whispers, far more playfully than she might have said such a thing in her more distraught moments. She's still grinning, anyway. "You're the best, Winter. I don't think I could be any happier than I am right now."
All things told, there's probably a few things that would override that in her potential future, but they're certainly further down the line and not exactly things she's focusing on right now.
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This is something that's just between the two of them. And she's okay with that. This is something for the two of them alone to share, in a very real way that's starting to dawn on her. And she's okay with putting everything into this, because it's not just her that will get the benefits. It's both of them, and that means she can put her full weight behind this project and not feel like she's spoiling herself.
So when Lily pulls back to comment, Winter smiles. "I'd challenge that in a heartbeat. If you're like this when we're going to look for a place... what will it be like when we move in?" A faint giggle. "I'll have to tie you to something, or you'll float away." Slightly more seriously, she adds, "So don't think about it so much. I decided that where I wanted to be... was wherever you are. You deserve a lot more than me. But I like to think that I can make you happy all the same." She presses herself just a bit closer, raising her free hand to Lily's cheek. "At least as happy as you make me."
In a (mildly) rare bit of initiative, she then process to kiss Lily back, just a bit more gently. Which doesn't really mean much, since she tends toward being a bit more conservative in public, and they are still outside.
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"We really gotta stop meeting like this, you know," she said, in her best faux-masculine "detective" voice.
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Still, Winter's comments give her a strangely bashful look for their close proximity. The girl made a good point, and Lily can't really deny it. How she was liable to be once all was said and done and they were settled in... well. At the least, her further comments just cause Lily's smile to broaden, and she accepts the renewed kiss, though doesn't push it into the levels she was just a moment ago.
Mostly because they are quickly interrupted by her sister. Which makes her shout a little in surprise, against Winter's mouth. She promptly pulls her head back - but not too far, she doesn't let go of the other girl - and snaps to glance at Jasmine. Her smile's still there at least, but she sighs.
"I swear, you've got to have some sort of radar, sis..."
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Still, her heart's starting to get back under control all the same. "Were you going somewhere?" She was pretty sure Jasmine didn't have any pressing schoolwork tonight, not that she was remembering clearly just now after what she was just doing. So there wasn't a problem with that, per se. Just curiosity.
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She smiled. "I heard you guys talking before I got out the door, though. What's up?"
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"Well, ah- you see..." Shyness suddenly tries to sneak up on her, but every other emotion running full blast right then overrides it quickly enough, and everything else just sort of... gushes out at once. "You know how Dad was working on helping me find a place for college, right? I still needed a roommate, and- heh, well- Winter agreed to move in with me..."
That shyness very quickly turned into an all too apparent giddy feeling, and after all... there was no reason to hide that from Jasmine, right? Honesty was the best policy.
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...oh. Oh, no, they're making a mistake, they can't talk about this like it's nothing, like it was just decided - even if it was. They can't just spring this on Jasmine, they had to-
-not just come out and say it offhandedly. Winter's grip tightens markedly on Lily's hand, as her expression evens out to something more neutral. It's a little late now, and Winter doesn't really have the right to get in the way... this is Lily's moment, and Lily's sister. It's not her place. So she'll stay here and do what she can, accept whatever happens. But she's having flashbacks to Valentine's Day, and she's not sure if that's a good thing. Jasmine accepts them now, but... they're basically talking about moving on, and leaving Jasmine behind. Again, really. It's not something that will just blow over without issue.
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And all she could manage to say was a simple "Oh," accompanied by a wide eyed stare.
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Her grip tightens back against Winter, and she bites her lip for the first thing that tries to come out. Something she'd probably have regretted later, so it's for once good she manages to check her emotions. Her eyes shift away from her sister, and she gives a laugh. It's extraordinarily hollow, though.
"'Oh,' huh..."
As if she'd smashed into a brick wall head on, every feeling of elation and happiness starts to drain out, replaced with that familiar self doubt and just a hint of frustration. It was too much to ask to just be happy without anything trying to drag her back down from it, it would seem. Jasmine may not have said much, but it said a lot.
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That means this is going to be her figuring out how to make this work. And it's not something she's prepared for, but it's something she can't just walk away from. Not when the stakes are so high, again, and when Jasmine could just run away at any time. It hadn't worked out very well the last time, and she suspected it would be worse now.
So she's going to just try what she's... hoping will work. She reaches out a hand, slowly, to try and catch Jasmine. A hand, a shoulder, an arm, whatever she can get to. And in a voice that's gentle, but as firm as she can manage without letting her concern bleed through and make it condemning - which she isn't meaning to be, but she knows herself too well - she starts, "Jasmine... can we talk? Before you make any decisions, be-before you shut us out... can we talk about this? Just for a little bit, and then you can do whatever you want?" She's not putting out a lot of confidence, considering her tone's getting less and less certain as she speaks, but... she's got to try.
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The second thing she's thinking? Oh. Oh god, she screwed up. That she did it again, that she's being selfish and she'd gone from zero to sixty to making a big step in Lily's life all about her and her stupid fears and insecurities and oh god what had she done?
"L-look," she said, after swallowing hard. "I just... it's a lot to take in suddenly, alright? I-I... I mean, you're always here, and... I'm just scared of basically being by myself, I guess?"
She put on a shaky smile. "I don't want to ruin things for you or hold you back. This is... this is an important step, okay? I mean, you'll be a phone call away, right? I-I'm being stupid."
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"Even before the Network, I decided I was going to LCU because it meant I wouldn't have to fully leave home. That I'd still be in the city. But now, this... Dammit, Jasmine. The last thing you'd be is by yourself. You have friends now. Winter and I aren't just going to vanish. We won't even be that terribly far. Even Dad lately... I think we've seen more of him since we got back than we had for months before we left! Things aren't the same anymore. Our lives aren't the same, and... we're growing up."
Her free hand clenches a bit. Even with what Jasmine is saying, the fact she is upset is evidently clear. "You're still my sister. I still love you. I'll still always be there for you. But- I can't keep doing this. We can't. I- I've done everything I know how to do to help you, to take care of you... You knew this was coming, even. It's not sudden, I didn't just now spring this on you." She shakes her head, tears brimming at her eyes. "What else do you want from me?"
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"You won't be alone, Jasmine. We'll still be here. Maybe not here here, but we'll still be in the city. We're still here if you need us. So... you're not going to be alone. You're being a little stupid, but I can... I can understand that. I don't hold it against you, not at all."
Lily, on the other hand, she's concerned about. Her girlfriend just isn't taking it well, and Lily's going to say something she doesn't mean if this continues. She grips Lily's hand hard enough to be painful, digging a nail in to make a point. Under her breath, she adds, "Easy, Lily. She's as worried as you were fifteen minutes ago."
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"Lily," she said. "You're right. I'm not being rational. I guess... even though I knew it wasn't the same as realizing it was really happening. Which is all me, okay? And... you're right. I did this before... I do this more often than I should."
She straightened up, her expression growing more serious. "Winter, thank you for that, but at the same time, she's right. It's not respectful to you, Marina, or anyone else I've formed a connection to. I can't act like I'm stuck being the same insecure person I was before I became a Numbered. I..."
She looked at Lily. "I am happy for you. I mean that. Even when I was afraid you and Winter were leaving me behind, I... it wasn't because I didn't want you together. It was because I thought everyone was growing while I was stuck in the same place. There's nothing I want more than for you two to be together."
At that, Jasmine took a deep breath. "You've been there for me since I was a little girl. You'll always be there for me. I can't... keep acting like this every time a major change comes along. I need to change."
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Lily had realized in the past several months she'd not had her own life until now. She poured everything she was, everything she did into her family, leaving almost nothing for herself, with any attempts at having anything for herself ending in failure.
That's all different now, and she'd thought she'd had a perfect, untainted moment for once. Such had not been the case. She understands the fear, to an extent, she understands what Winter means... but what is she supposed to do with it?
At the very least, Jasmine also realizes all of this herself.
She passes another, thankful look to Winter for reeling her in, and finally casts her gaze to Jasmine, although still misty eyed. "I'd move mountains to help you, Jasmine. You know that. I'd do anything I could for you, but..."
She tries to smile now, pushing aside her frustrations and renewed worry. "We've all got futures to look towards, right? With or without Winter, that was going to be happening for me anyway with college, but since it's with her... It's one I can actually look forward to. It just doesn't mean I love you any less, or won't be there when you need me."
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Not that Lily needs to be reminded of that. She goes silent after that, waiting to see what Jasmine will do. That's... largely what needs to be considered, at this point.
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She laughed a little. "Though I guess it'll be a lot harder to catch you two being close together from now on..."
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And maybe, there was some good to come of Jasmine not having to rely on certain things just as much as Lily.
She then cocks her head to one side.
"That said, I think I can do without that last part, all things told."
Because seriously, Jasmine.
Your timing.