Jovan Burzek (Nathan Young) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
grannyfucker) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
savetheearth2014-07-15 12:29 am
grannyfucker) wrote in savetheearth2014-07-15 12:29 am
[text/image] backdated to a week and a half ago, what do you mean i'm late
Now, I know all of us here are freaks, but I at least hope all of you are celebrating the greatest holiday of them all: FOURTH OF JULY, INDEPENDENCE DAY.
Let us take this moment to remember our roots. On this day, four score and a fucking lot of years ago, our four fathers (hence fourth of July!) decided to toss up both middle fingers at our fat asshole British oppressors by taking all their shitty tea and THROWING IT IN THE HARBOR.
WE THREW THE REST OF THE TEA TOO
George Washington also kicked ass while riding a bear into battle against the British on the Delaware, because he was just that badass.
And now, every year we celebrate the fact that this country was built on enough testosterone, you could (and we DID) make solid bricks out of it to build our White House.
With our brainwashing battle cry heard all throughout every school in the country: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the spirit of ignoring bullshit for which it stands, a billion dumbasses, under commie threat, unfattenable, with cheeseburgers and aliens for all.
*single tear*
So how have you all been celebrating? I personally have found out that if I hold my arms out with sparklers from the balcony, the cult nerds think I'm George Washingjesus risen from Mount Rushmore. You ought to try it, I could probably masturbate on these people and they'd call it my freedom blood and then try drinking it.
Like I said: the greatest holiday of them all.
Let us take this moment to remember our roots. On this day, four score and a fucking lot of years ago, our four fathers (hence fourth of July!) decided to toss up both middle fingers at our fat asshole British oppressors by taking all their shitty tea and THROWING IT IN THE HARBOR.
WE THREW THE REST OF THE TEA TOO
George Washington also kicked ass while riding a bear into battle against the British on the Delaware, because he was just that badass.
And now, every year we celebrate the fact that this country was built on enough testosterone, you could (and we DID) make solid bricks out of it to build our White House.
With our brainwashing battle cry heard all throughout every school in the country: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the spirit of ignoring bullshit for which it stands, a billion dumbasses, under commie threat, unfattenable, with cheeseburgers and aliens for all.
*single tear*
So how have you all been celebrating? I personally have found out that if I hold my arms out with sparklers from the balcony, the cult nerds think I'm George Washingjesus risen from Mount Rushmore. You ought to try it, I could probably masturbate on these people and they'd call it my freedom blood and then try drinking it.
Like I said: the greatest holiday of them all.
Page 1 of 5