joint post with substitutable. Vegas early morning.

[pheromonecoffee]

[Matt Abbot adjusts the camera on his laptop. He's still in his Vegas hotel room--funny, since a lot of the group has gotten home?

But right now, Matt is in his room with his hoodie zipped up all the way (Matt it's hot, stop). His hair is ruffled and it looks like he's had trouble sleeping, but--

Behind him another another boy is sitting up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes in confusion. He is wearing Matt's pajamas. Please do not ask.]

Good morning, Vegas and good nearly afternoon, Locke City. I have once again implemented a dastardly scheme. Since my last hostage got away from me, I have taken a new one. Except this time it is a Vegas native. I believe he was trying to hero at me or something, but I turned the tables on him and now he is my captive.

I will be returning with him to Locke eventually. In the mean time, I will try to continue more evildoing.

[The video cuts out. Matt knows he's going over the top. People might yell at him becuase Serious Things happened. But fuck it. He needs the amusement and maybe a few people will play along.

Then he switches to text.]

Got out of the hospital yesterday. No permanent damages, just some bruises and a few cracked ribs. Should be home by the beginning of July.

And I'm sorry. I should've had a better eye on things. I hope everybody's okay.

[Replies will also be coming from substitutable! Who has just reapped in with a new reincarnation and has no idea he was being recorded.]

Comments

[substitutable]

And I can just as fairly turn it back around on you.

[pheromonecoffee]

Wow. I see exactly how our friendship is going to go.

[substitutable]

Arguments will keep your brain active and healthy.

[pheromonecoffee]

From prison.

[substitutable]

You can't prove anything.

[pheromonecoffee]

I am a national hero. I helped stop the snake. They should take my word.

[substitutable]

I thought you were a villain...

[pheromonecoffee]

I am. It's complicated. [Excuse Matt while he points at you with his toast.]

[substitutable]

The only thing consistent about your life is how complicated it is. So? what's the story?

[pheromonecoffee]

If I give you my origin story as a humble scientist, it'll ruin it.

[substitutable]

I am madly curious.

[pheromonecoffee]

I was initially studying the Numbered with my two lab assistants. We uncovered a great deal of important information, like the fact that there is no human main character.

And then my lab assistant, Sasha teased me and my heart turned black because I could not earn her love.

[substitutable]

Hmmm.

I'm going to assume you teased her back and didn't think it was going to get serious.

[pheromonecoffee]

[... And then Matt stuffs his toast in his face.]

She's one of my first friends from Locke. She's funny, and cute, and she can probably out-eat me. [He'll actually pull out the selfie of him and Sasha from a few months ago.] It's before the weird human sacrifice echoes.

[substitutable]

[He'll look at it. And grin.]

She is cute. She's got a nice name, too, Sasha. You look good together -- she seemed like a good girl when she responded to your post.

[pheromonecoffee]

[He drops his head, shoulders sagging.]

Don't remind me.

[substitutable]

[He'll hand back over the phone.]

Sorry, sorry. Still. You seem to like her a lot -- it's nice to see.

[pheromonecoffee]

If she ever talks to me again, I'll be surprised.

[substitutable]

Let yourself be surprised.

[pheromonecoffee]

Women are terrifying.

[substitutable]

I know. They are. Don't be defeated.