006 | Video [dated 30/6]

[abhero]

[After a week of radio silence, Emil is broadcasting from his room. He’s without a hat today, horn visible through his blonde hair. He also gave up the contacts, showing his now red eyes. People who know him might notice he’s more subdued than usual, but then again he almost got murdered violently.]

You all heard about that mob incident in Vegas. Some of you probably have questions, so… here goes.

[A pause. He looks very serious.]

Yes, it was a lot like being in a zombie movie, except these guys weren’t rotting and they didn’t try to eat my brain. Also, little old ladies are strangely strong. Walkers are deadly weapons, it’s scary.

[Sigh.]

Anyway. The cultists are having a field day with this. I thought going back to Locke would get them off my back but they keep sending me these facebook messages. I think some of them are supposed to be encouraging but it’s just creepy as fuck:

”Face your true self.”

“You let us down you’re an asshole”. This guy spelled “you’re” wrong. Dick.

“Work harder exclamation mark exclamation mark. You’re a child of the shell exclamation mark exclamation mark exclamation mark exclamation mark” and so on. Next.

”The great lobster is displeased”, “Sorry if I hit you” - huh, that’s nice actually - “That horn is really cute”, “Don’t be afraid just look inside”, “You owe me a new megaphone” - uh. [He looks away, sheepish.] This one has a point... anyway, you get the picture. I got like dozens of these. It’s really annoying.

[He rubs his eyes. Now it’s obvious he’s trying hard to keep up appearance.]

I dunno. There’s always a chance of outing yourself but I wish it was nicer than failed cult icon and “demon kid destroys a fountain.”

[And he turns off the video.]

Comments

[abhero]

Dude, I can throw a car and one day I woke up knowing how to play a violin like a pro. Deny reality all you want, that's not gonna educate anyone.

[senseandcecilbility]

I saw a shrink. It didn't work.

[And it was outrageously expensive. Never again.]

[abhero]

[Should he say that it didn't work because it's all real?

Nah.]

Guess you're beyond help now.

[senseandcecilbility]

[Oh no, now Emil will have to endure the saddest face on earth.]

[abhero]

[Alas, Emil is short on sympathy right now.]

Yeah, it sucks right? It’ll only be worse from here.

[senseandcecilbility]

[Why are all children mean?]

I'm not changing anything!

[Not over completely hypothetical heroes, aliens and stuff.]

[abhero]

[Because being mean makes him feel like he has more control on the his currently shitty life.

And because he's an awful brat.]

Yeah that's not really up to you.

[senseandcecilbility]

Good, I'm going back to my real life.

[And pretend this whole mess doesn't exist until he feels surprisingly inclined to save people from possessed lobsters again.]

[abhero]

Yeeeeaaah. Good luck with that.

[senseandcecilbility]

How long since you have found the network anyway? There is always hope, you know.

[He must cling to hope as his life becomes weirder and weirder.]

[abhero]

Since February. But I got the first echo almost a year ago.

[senseandcecilbility]

[ Why does everybody seem to be more experienced at this mess than he is? ]

...That sounds like a long journey. I hope that didn't distract you from your studies.

[abhero]

Nah. Business as usual.

[Because he didn't do very well at school in the first place.]

[senseandcecilbility]

...

[Yeah, this is the look of a very suspicious adult.]

[abhero]

What's with that face?

[senseandcecilbility]

You are flunking, aren't you? I can help you if your homework if you are interested.

[abhero]

I'm not flunking! I never failed a test STOP TALKING DOWN TO ME

[It's Cs and Ds, jeez!]

[senseandcecilbility]

...

[Yeah, he is still judging.]

What about math?

[abhero]

[A firm C.]

What the hell do you care? I don't need to give you my report card!!

[senseandcecilbility]

[F-firm C.]

Your education matters. What if you join a gang or is sent to a reformatory? It would be a waste of taxes.

[abhero]

Fuck you, asshole! I'm not a criminal!

[senseandcecilbility]

[As smoothly and irritating as any adult can be:]

Mind your language, young man.

[abhero]

Oh, I'm sorry! Please go eff-triple-asterisks yourself, you anus!

[senseandcecilbility]

[Small sigh.]

See, if you keep that, then you will become a criminal.

[Seriously, the boy has already destroyed a fountain with the power of music and all.]

[abhero]

[No, the guy who started the mob used the power of music. Emil destroyed a fountain with the power of an angry demonic monster - okay that doesn't sound any better.]

And if you keep that up - that being getting on my nerves - you'll be the first stop in my hypothetical, future life of crime.