05 | text

[abhero]

i’m fucking sick of this echo bullshit
FUCKING SICK
this crap got me FIRED today and now i have to explain it to mom and find something else
any suggestions for a 16 yr old that don’t include constantly dealing w/people
i don’t think i should do customer service anymore
god i HATE this personality rewriting shit I REALLY FUCKING HATE IT JFC IT’S RUINING MY LIFE

[Guess who echoed back an explosive temper that got him into a screaming match with a particularly rude customer. Turns out bosses don’t appreciate workers who call customers “you stupid fucking asshole” and throw their groceries on the floor.]

Comments

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

Do you think you can be angry and funny and make coffee at the same time?

[Audio]

[abhero]

Would someone else give the customers the coffee and listen to their annoying, petty, fucking stupid complaints -

[Ahem.]

Point is, if I have to service people all the time one of them will probably get coffee thrown in their face. Unless you think it's funny and then sure, I'll throw hot drinks at asshole as much as you want.

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

Rude baristas are kind of the gimmick. And for the record, I think it's hilarious.

[Audio]

[abhero]

So let me get this straight. You pay your workers to explode at customers?

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

I pay my workers to be themselves. Most of my workers are normal people, most normal people are infuriated by hipsters; therefore, most of my workers are infuriated by hipsters and treat them accordingly.

There's a sign on the door, so it's not like said hipsters aren't warned... but I do ask that children and the elderly are spared the snarky treatment. They don't always realize what they're getting into.

[Audio]

[abhero]

[It's more yelling than snarking.]

So if old folks are being assholes, take it out on the next hipster in line?

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

That's the idea.

Come in for an interview, if you want.

[Audio]

[abhero]

[Permission to flip his shit? Sounds really unhealthy excellent.]

Okay.

Can I come at the end of the month though? I'm going to Vegas for like two weeks.

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

Sure, that's not a problem. We are always hiring.

Please be careful in Vegas.

[Audio]

[abhero]

Cool.

And yeah, we're gonna keep low. I don't wanna end up in a fountain with lobsters eating my dead eyes.

[Audio]

[dead_black_eyes]

I'd be really worried if someone did want that, especially in light of recent events.

Drop by the shop when you've returned. We'll work something out.