savetheearth | ❧ 010 ❧ Video, laptop webcam

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❧ 010 ❧ Video, laptop webcam

[Normally Xander doesn't do video posts for the network, with the exception of showing off his shadow mimicry. This time around, the camera isn't pointed at himself but a kitchen counter filled with several sweet and savory baked goods made of kneaded dough. These weren't any left overs from the party that Kotetsu hosted since he didn't attend.]

I made a lot more than I intended. [The image tilts slightly to the side, as if it was knocked off balanced for some reason. A sigh and a meow is heard before the visual is back to it's original position.] There's a chance I won't be able to eat all of this in the next few days. So... I'm offering to -- [A brief pause, he's torn if he should charge a small sum for it or not.] -- share.

Limited to those who live in Locke, sorry.

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[he cringes slightly, looking away again, off into the distance at the edge of the park this time. he came to apologize for what he said, but he was kind of hoping to get out of this without actually having to talk about the original incident itself.]

No, but, ah...

[a shrug, his eyes fall to the space in between them, quietly: ] I still made a mistake. And if I had not, then... [then he might have lived. so it is, in a way, his fault.]

...You don't have to say the rest. I know what you mean.

[He frowns a bit as his gaze focuses on the containers of baked goods.]

I'm sorry for storming out. I didn't want to cause a scene.

[a quiet, relieved breath. at least it seems like they're getting out of this without making anything worse.]

It's fine. I understand.

[a brief pause]

It was the keys. They made you say things you did not mean to.

[Even though they were both skirting around the subject quite a bit. Xander didn't want to be caught off guard again by a sudden swell of emotion or horrible thoughts. Ravindra didn't deserve that and he knew that the former combat medic did the best he could do during that situation, despite the outcome.

When he hears the other man acknowledge his apology, he gives a silent nod in return. But, at the mention of the source of the guilty confession, he blinks and suddenly chuckles.]

Is that so? Possessed by something, right? ...I dealt with a few of those at work and it wasn't fun.

[That was a partial lie. A part of him sadistically enjoyed destroying the 'living objects'.]

[a nod. he doesn't actually know, re: possession, but it seems like an answer that makes sense. and anyway the only important thing to communicate here is that there was something wrong with those keys that made them force you to say shit you didn't want to.]

[but that chuckle makes him super uncomfortable because he's not quite sure how to take it.]

A few what? Keys?

[he doesn't think he understood that right and he sounds dubious]

No, not keys. [He shakes his head before raising a hand that was covered with a few healing burns.] A lighter, toothpicks and wooden skewers.

I don't have to explain what the lighter did, but... The toothpicks and skewers waged a war against the store. Not caring about whoever got in the way.

[he looks concerned when he sees the burns, but he can't heal those, so it's not even worth making the offer.]

[the actual explanation gets a sigh; he rubs his forehead like he feels a headache coming on. toothpicks. really??]

I don't know what to think about all of this anymore.

[Once Ravi gets a good look at the burns, he lowers his hand to the table.]

Neither do I. There's a lot of things that don't make sense, but yet, they're real.

At least before it actually was threatening and not stupid.

[but tell him how you really feel ravi]

Agreed, but... some of those things were threatening the civilians as well despite being unusual.

[He's not going to mention a few additional injuries he got while dealing with the toothpicks or skewers.]

[it's not quite a sigh, more like a discontented huff. yeah, obviously some of those things were actually dangerous, but...well, there's a difference between dangerous and threatening.]

Things aren't getting better, are they?

[it sounds a little defeated]

Probably not. It'll get worse as time goes on.

[There is a little bit of uncertainty in his voice before he exhales and digs in to his pocket for a cigarette. A frown appears on his lips, not voicing a thought about 'pulses' that would change a man or woman in to someone they're not.]

...Sorry for being pessimistic.

[he shakes his head. don't worry about it, xander. you're in good company when it comes to pessimism.]

When does it end?

[rhetorical. he knows nobody has an answer to that]

[He's silent for a moment, snapping his fingers for a flame and lighting the cigarette before extinguishing the fire by making a fist. He inhales the toxins before politely blowing it out and away from Ravindra or anyone else.]

I don't know, but one answer would be when we die.

[That frown deepens a bit, realizing he had said something morbid and only reminded himself of Conleth again.]

[wow jealous. never having to carry a lighter again is such a cool ability. smelling the smoke also makes him itch for a cigarette, but he refrains for now.]

[thankfully Ravi doesn't connect the answer with Conleth at all. too focused on the immediate]

It's not an answer.

If our pulses really are from past lives, then they can come back again in the next one.

[Especially when it doesn't burn him when it is in use.

As for Ravi's comment, that gets a slightly muffled and pained chuckle.]

...It really isn't when you say it like that. [A brief pause at the mention of reincarnation and he pulls out a container to tap the ashes in to.] Although, I'd feel bad for whoever is next in line, having to relive through this mess.

[ raises an eyebrow ]

'Whoever is next' still is you.

[ that's kinda how the whole reincarnation thing works.

That said, though, he folds his arms and glances away, brow furrowed, not a good kind of thoughtful ]

...Do you think this has changed us?

[He's silent for a moment, burning through his cigarette and tapping the ashes in to the container before exhaling the smoke.]

I think it already has.

[Speaking from the personality traits he couldn't control. He had done things and Ravindra was one of the first to see it.]

[ Ravi thinks about the changes he's already seen in Xander. That incident with the Blood Key is the first thing on his mind. His next question is hesitant, and though he's looking at Xander when he asks it, he's not looking at his face. ]

How do you feel about it?

[There's a sigh as he stashes the butt of the cigarette in to the container.]

Honestly...? I'm terrified of what's happening to me, Savarna. Even though it doesn't look like I am.

[He glances over to the other man.]

[he looks troubled, and he's still not quite meeting Xander's face. he thinks about what happened with Proud, and how at the time he didn't care at all about Proud as a person, only about doing what he thought needed to be done. he thinks about how exasperated he feels dealing with patients now, and remembers that simply helping people used to be enough for him to feel satisfied with where his life had gone.]

I am, too.

[it's quiet, admitted in confidence. he trusts Xander to understand, and to keep it between them]

[He does notice that troubled expression, but doesn't make a comment about it. After all, he wasn't one to pry and he could keep a secret for the most part. So, he pockets the container and brushes any ashes from his fingertips away from the picnic table.]

A lot of people would say the same thing, I think... Becoming something they never imagined. [He releases another sigh and shakes his head slightly.] But, that point is rather obvious.

[This was a horrible attempt at trying to lighten the burden on both of their shoulders. He shouldn't have said anything in the first place.]

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❧ 010 ❧ Video, laptop webcam

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