video;

[telvanni]

[ Today, Nathaniel is broadcasting via a small circular handmirror. It doesn't provide a particularly expansive view, but he needs something portable and he doesn't own a cellphone. And let's be real, nobody needs to see any more of his horrible flowery chintzy living room than is already visible. Ugh.

He isn't looking quite as bored and above-it-all as usual. There's a hint of slightly-undignified excitement in his expression and everything. ]

Loath as I am to take up valuable ephemeral-number-network space, I do have something important to announce. I have created a spell set I believe many of you will be interested in. Observe!

[ Holding his mirror steady in one hand, he waves the other in an elaborately theatrical gesture. For a moment the view from the mirror is obscured in a shower of purplish-white lights, and then... ]

Oh, bugger.

[ ...he isn't in his living room any more. He's outside. The mirror gets turned away from his face to display the location more clearly - Nathaniel has been teleported on top of the roof of a building overlooking the Vegas strip.

Yeah.

After a few seconds, the lightshow obscures the mirror once more. When it dissipates, the view is trained back on Nathaniel back inside his living room. ]

I was aiming for a nearby alleyway, I suppose I shall have to recalibrate a tad... But you get the idea. I have achieved instantaneous transportation between Locke City and Las Vegas. I am also capable of enchanting items with the spells involved, so that non-magical persons will be able to use them.

Supplies are limited. As such, should anyone wish to obtain any enchanted items I will require adequate compensation. [A pause.] And I should note that unlike the staves I produced previously, these are entirely unsuitable for vegans.

[ Which doesn't sound ominous at all. ]

Comments

[spellfire]

So it's a matter of it having crazy shit going on? Still don't see how you couldn't break in to the ones in Vegas, then.

[telvanni]

No, no. I have to visit the place in question to place the marker. Probably not possible with the Vegas vaults.

And I don't condone such actions anyway, of course.

[spellfire]

You tellin' me there may not come a point where we need emergency funds? Who else to fuck over than the fuckers growing rich?

More's the pity, man.

[telvanni]

I fail to foresee an instance in which I would require emergency funds. And should the need arise, I will simply sell my enchanting services. United as we all undoubtedly are,

[SARCASM ACTUALLY OOZING FROM EVERY PORE HOLY SHIT WHO KNEW THIS WAS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE]

I feel that financial difficulties should be handled personally and privately.

Meaning bugger off, I won't help you rob any banks.

[spellfire]

Wow, what a selfless fucker you are. Good of all people in case the whole fuckin' club needed, Iunno, bail money.

[this is even her clapping slowly, mockingly]

[telvanni]

My dear girl, I think that is how you will find the world works. Services are exchanged, not freely given. I harbour no delusions or ambitions of being some sort of generous benefactor.