[text] backdated to...i dunno, sometime earlier this week

[grannyfucker]

oh my god ddon't get weed from that guy in the alleyway near fulham and 45th

hooooooooly shit

i think i am having a bad trip, i have been having a bad trip ALL WEEK. i smoked this shit once like nine days ago and i keep seeing shiteverywhere now,IT DOESNT STOP

oh jeus i think i od'd on weed fuck i am so fucked

Comments

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[dead_black_eyes]

Are you a spazz who self-medicates?

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[grannyfucker]

no!

i just like to telax once n a while

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[dead_black_eyes]

Denial's a thing. Any 12 step program will tell you as much.

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[grannyfucker]

did i fucking say it was denial?

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[dead_black_eyes]

You don't have to say some things for people to pick up on them.

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[grannyfucker]

yeah, if you're the nsa, maybe

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[dead_black_eyes]

If I was, I definitely wouldn't say so.

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[grannyfucker]

and you didnt!

so you must be nsa after all

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[dead_black_eyes]

That's such solid reasoning, you could work for us.

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[grannyfucker]

see? i'm a real grnius over here

u;kk start with a $500000/yr salary, thanks

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[dead_black_eyes]

Come on, don't undervalue yourself.

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[grannyfucker]

o fuck you're righ, my baf

kind having a hard time tping here, i missed a few zeroes

$500000000000/yr, there we go

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[dead_black_eyes]

Now we're talking. We'll call sometime in the next 48 hours; don't move from your phone, we're only calling once and if you miss it then you won't have another chance to accept the job offer.

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[grannyfucker]

dnt move from the phone? what is this, 1972? i have a fucking vell phone you know

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[dead_black_eyes]

That's adorable.

When you work for us you'll know why we don't trust cell phones. We're calling your land line; that's tapped, but at least we're the ones listening in.

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[grannyfucker]

i repeat: what is this, 1972? i dont fycking have a landlie

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[dead_black_eyes]

You'd better go the nearest Chinese restaurant and ask them to camp out by their phone, then.

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[grannyfucker]

better be prompt then, ssholes i got better shit to o with my time than wait for a pohone cal at some freasy chinee restaramt

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[dead_black_eyes]

We're a busy agency. If you can't wait for our call then there are plenty of other people who will.

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[grannyfucker]

ah but will any of the eve be gal as food as me

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[dead_black_eyes]

One of the top jobs in the country and your questioning our applicant pool? That takes balls, but balls aren't enough to get you in the door. You have to go wait if you want a shot; otherwise, it's going to someone else.

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[grannyfucker]

*you're

for someone recruiting for one of the top jovs in the contry you'rne not doing a very good job of it, you know

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[dead_black_eyes]

My job is to be impressed. If you're competing for a good job, my job is better.

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[grannyfucker]

then i'll just take your job!

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[dead_black_eyes]

Come get it, cowboy. I'll be waiting.