[Video || Cat food tray] And now for something completely different.

[sacrifice_everything]

[The first thing that appears is a nose, since that's what she's using to make her numbers. Her nose and a whole lot of kitty kibble, all arranged into little piles on her tray. And now that they're all in line, viewers are treated to a curious Russian blue, ears high up on her head with interest.

Unfortunately, though, she doesn't quite know what to do with this little portal she's created. Other than to stare and meow. And groom herself. And paw at the little screen... and groom herself a bit more.

This has been a very important message from Regina the cat.]

Comments

[searchforpeace]

... A cat?

[Humans getting a number was one thing but now cats? This only deepens the mystery of what the heck is going on here for her.]

[comparative_insanity]

[Ah. And now a cat. An absolutely adorable cat. Who doesn't seem to know how to talk, but that at least knows how to think, presumably.]

Ah, hello there Miss or Mister Cat. [Yeah, he's a total dork, what of it. He feels a bit silly doing this, but even a cat should be greeted to the network, right?] I don't know if you're aware, but we humans do this- [He nods] -when we want to say yes, and this- [He shakes his head] -when we want to say no. Do you understand?

[sacrifice_everything]

[She made a human appear! This makes her purr and meow a greeting. Yup, doesn't understand this at all but cool!]

[sacrifice_everything]

[She pawses pauses, whiskers twitching as she inspects the screen. She can't smell him, but he seems nice enough. Oh, but he asked her a question. She nods, although it is a very silly movement and makes her a tiny bit dizzy. Humans are so strange, thinking that's a good way to communicate. But then again, it is nice to be able to communicate at all with a human.

She wonders what the signal for "gimme food" is.]

[comparative_insanity]

[The small motion to him looks absolutely adorable, and he coos softly, but tries not to go into abrupt babytalk with her in case he offends her.]

That's good. Now, those numbers just appeared in your head, right? Is there something you wonder about? Perhaps I can guess it.

[sacrifice_everything]

[Actually, she finds it pretty weird that she's not being addressed as "Reggie" and getting her ears baby-talked off.

She pauses again, trying to decide what he might want. He's using a lot of words her humans have only used in weird contexts she doesn't quite understand. But finally she nods, figuring that's a good enough way to go.]

[comparative_insanity]

[Well, how can he know. The only thing he can think about when it comes to addressing sentient cats is The Ad-dressing of Cats.]

Okay... Ah! This thing is what humans call a network. It's for talking to people who are far away. You can see me and hear me even though I'm not in the same room at all. Does that make sense?

[sacrifice_everything]

[She nods more quickly this time. She's getting used to this pretty fast, at least. Although the word "network" won't be very useful to her for a good long while.

Now she meows at him and gets up to rush around in a circle. It just occurred to her that she has no idea how to ask questions that are actually important. Like how to get out. How's she supposed to tell him there's no way out of her house and her humans don't want her outside and she needs to get out right now? Well, at least she's doing an admirable job of looking urgent.]

[comparative_insanity]

[Well, at least he can see that this is one distressed kitty. He hums and chews his lip, trying to think what she could mean. They had a lot of cats back home, running in and out all day, and the only time they ever looked that restless was when someone forgot to leave the door open. So...]

You want someone to let you out?

[sacrifice_everything]

[Smartest. Human. Ever. She loves him.

This is met with some very fast nodding, and then grooming herself to make it look like she didn't totally dizzy herself out. And purring, all of the purring. All of it.]

[comparative_insanity]

[That is the most adorable thing in all the world. How can he possibly handle that much cute. But at the same time, it does pose a bit of a problem.]

Ah... Your humans, they don't want to let you out?

[sacrifice_everything]

[She shakes her head. Not that she wants that to change, if she and her sister are allowed outside her sister might get hurt.]

[comparative_insanity]

Gotcha, sweetie. Oh dear, if only you could tell me where you are... [Well, this is a problem. He would really like to help, but how much help can he be where he is?]

Ah, wait! [He picks up the mirror he's using and carries it over to one of his windows, aiming it at the latches, which are relatively simple] Do your windows look anything like this?

[sacrifice_everything]

[She glances at the windows up near the counter. Hard to see from here, but she's been up on the counters enough to know what they look like. She turns back to her tray and nods. Not that she knows how that helps.]

[comparative_insanity]

Well, if you can get to them and if they're anything like these, you should be able to push these up. Like this. [He demonstrates with his own latches.] Then, if you lean against the window... [A push, and it slides open.] You could go out that way! Unless... are the windows far from the ground? [Cat or not, he's pretty sure she shouldn't be vaulting out a window several stories up.]

[sacrifice_everything]

[Shhh cats can fall from any distance without dying.

Thankfully, she's on the ground floor. She eats the food she'd be using to access the network, cutting the feed. And off she goes to test her ability to open the window.

About 45 minutes later, she's outside and looking around for a way to recreate the numbers. Turns out outside is terrifying for a cat that's been inside all her life, though, so she fails to accomplish this. Fay is recontacted through the same cat food tray by a Regina who now has wet, ruffled fur and a look of unmistakable pride on her face.

And, as an added bonus, a very upset sister fussily grooming her.]

[comparative_insanity]

[When she comes back Fay beams at her, and if he was there he'd probably scratch her ears. GOOD KITTY. BEST FRIEND.]

There you go! Just be careful when you go outside, and you should be fine. And maybe one of us will be able to find you later, that might make it easier to communicate. How does tuna sound?

[sacrifice_everything]

[Tuna sounds wonderful, and she nods even though "yes" isn't exactly an answer to the question. This spurs an odd little conversation between the two cats, in which Regina tries to explain the concept of nodding to Mary. Mary... does not get the point, and just goes back to grooming her.

Still, there is a very happy cat who one could swear is grinning back at Fay.]

[Audio]

[twopercent]

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

[No, he's not expecting a response, but this is a whole new level of network recruitment weirdness as far as Jack's concerned.]

Video.

[flamberge]

[That's... cat. A cat calling a number and appearing to be holding conversations (though one-sided) with other people. Well, now he's seen everything. The mild surprise is plainly visible on Richard's face as he speaks up.]

You are... capable of understanding human speech?

[Audio]

[sacrifice_everything]

[He gets a response, in the form of a nonchalant meow. Because she really does not care what your opinion on her is.]

Video.

[sacrifice_everything]

[He's in luck, since the conversation before with Fay has given Regina a very small amount of knowledge on how to communicate. She nods her head, proud to be able to speak to more humans than just the very smart and friendly-looking one from before.]

[Video]

[chalicejoker]

[Why is there a cat on the network? Hajime has to wonder if its owner has accidentally left the network on, only to have kitty get into the middle of things. Better try to flag the owner down.]

Hello?

[Video]

[sacrifice_everything]

Mrrrrow.

[Another human! The little portal in her food tray is the best thing ever. She grooms down the stray bit of fur on her chest and waves her tail as a greeting.]

[Video | Water Trough]

[destinedforrock]

[There is a cat on the network. This is the first time Cinderella has seen another non-human on the network - and given the past five days, the fact of seeing a cat, of all things, makes her incorrigibly leery initially, but is this cat one of them?

She would try to start conversation, but first she tries peering in a watery image at the gray cat, attempting to squint and listen behind her to see if she may have a master who connected - and on hearing nothing...]

Er - [Ears twitch.] Hello?