A Detour to Your New Life [Tuesday, February 25] [Closed]

[dead_black_eyes]

WHO: Lazarus Lawliet and Belle Goldman
WHEN: February 25, evening
WHERE: Belle's Apartment
WHAT: Echoes bringing back memories of a different life doesn't mean a person is free of the tendencies or demons in their current one.
WARNINGS: Mental illness, mentions of violence



The day had crawled by at a horrifically slow pace. From the very second his alarm clock had sounded, L had known that he wouldn't be able to make it to work; his mind had been moving too rapidly to sleep restfully, and he'd woken looking absolutely wretched. He'd managed to keep it together long enough to call Ray, report in sick, and fall asleep again with his ear against his police radio, hearing surreal strings of words in the empty static that influenced his dreams uneasily.

After waking up, he'd glanced at the network, and listened to music that actually made him feel something: deep, staggering depression. It was simultaneously exciting, for someone who had never felt anything on an emotional level while listening to music, and dismally unhelpful given his current state of mind. He suspected it was magical in nature, an ability echoed back to make the world just a touch more complicated than it had any right to be. Though Nathan's ice cane promised to be indispensible, should L ever need to fight someone, he found himself using it for the next several hours to coat his bed in a thin but solid layer of ice, waiting for his body heat to melt it through, and then re-freezing it to repeat the process. He only stopped when he was completely soaked in cold water, both of his numb ears ringing.

Pulling himself out of bed, he reached for the box he'd designated to contain the items he received back from his pulses.

A pair of handcuffs, connected by a six-foot chain.

A red cell phone from the early 2000s, with a charm that looked like a blonde, pigtailed voodoo doll, wiped clean of numbers.

A photograph of blood smeared on plaster, forming a hopeless suicide note in hiragana with the characters of one line spelling out "SHINIGAMI."

He knelt, scattering them in front of him to scrutinize for what felt like the thousandth time. They were so disparate. Nothing about them seemed to have anything to do with the other items, or the detective he supposedly had been.

Comments

[belphe]

"Yes. Though he would have been much angrier, I think, if he'd known I'd done it on purpose. It would suggest a lack of respect and contempt for my parents, rather than a child meaning well and not having the means to follow through correctly."

She idly stood behind him, watching as the ingredients were emptied into the bowl. "To put it another way, most people would feel differently about it if someone bumped into them accidentally and spilled their drink and apologized for being clumsy as opposed to intentionally knocking it out of their hands and laughing in their face."

[dead_black_eyes]

That received a lengthy silence from L as he began to mix the ingredients together, grasping the spoon delicately.

"What if you spilled something accidentally... but then laughed at someone? Or you absolutely do something on purpose, but apologize?"

Incidentally, that happened at work relatively frequently.

[belphe]

Yeah, she had a feeling that was likely the case...all the same, she answered as if L were not referencing himself in said scenarios.

"I think it would be entirely up to the person having their drink spilled how to take it. Everyone reacts differently...some people choose to see fault where there is no fault, and others are willing to give people the benefit of the doubt in any case, as long as they didn't think they meant it."

[dead_black_eyes]

"I think that most people give me the benefit of the doubt... and some days, I actually think I hate it," L confessed, his whisking clumsy but continuous. "I am starting to wonder if anything I do will get me fired."

[belphe]

"Everyone has their limits." she assured him. "Though, if you were to lose your job, what would be your next plan?"

[dead_black_eyes]

"I'm a detective. My plan would be to take on more cases as a self-employed private investigator," L said unhesitatingly.

[belphe]

"That would require saving up some start-up funds, however." she reminded him. "It may be better to save pushing the envelope until you're ready to move on."

Having said so, she crossed the small curtained chamber to sit on a vacant wheeled stool.

[dead_black_eyes]

He paused, giving his hand a rest from stirring.

"You're saying that I should act like someone I'm not to please someone I don't care about? I wonder if that's worth it at all... you saw how much more my case paid. It was more than I bring home in weeks working at the coffee shop."

[belphe]

"That is, unfortunately, what most people do when they work while they lay the groundwork to get where they want to be in life. I'm not saying that it would be impossible for you to drop your sole source of income and attempt to chase after something you've reawakened a talent for, but it would be reckless at this stage."

she watched as he whisked the ingredients together, forming them into a milky, slightly-tan mixture with a bit of foam at the top. "My advice, for now, would be to pursue it on the side, and once you feel that you're finding a steady demand for your services, then step out of your current work."

[dead_black_eyes]

"Reawakened? I've always had a talent for this," he protested, picking up the pace of his whisking again and watching the ingredients blend together. "It's just opportunities that have been denied me, for years, and I don't feel right when I'm not doing it."

Still, she had a point... and it was one he had to reluctantly accept if he wanted to sincerely believe that he wasn't slipping into a completely delusional fugue.

"How is this? Better?" he asked, removing his hands from close proximity to the bowl in order to scratch at the red, irritated skin without flaking dry bits of scaly flesh into the mixture.

[belphe]

"It should be fine." she said, giving the mixture a cursory glance before her attention focused itself on his reddened hands. She had tried to ignore it, but in the end...

"Wait here, I'd like to show you something." she said, leaving the kitchen for a moment to venture into the hallway, and from there, disappear into her bedroom. When she returned, she was carrying a pot containing a fern-like plant in it. Its leaves were veined with purple, and they shimmered, as if they were made of some sort of foil.

[dead_black_eyes]

He stared at the plant as she brought it out, seeming disquieted, maybe even disturbed at its appearance.

"Why are you showing me your plant?" he asked slowly, unsure what he was looking at. He knew next to nothing about botany, and while he could tell that the plant was extraordinary, he couldn't articulate what made it that way.

[belphe]

"It's called Athelas. Or Kingsfoil. It was given to me by someone I met on the network, and it's perfectly safe."

She set it on the counter a safe distance from where they were cooking to ensure that no stray bits of soil found themselves in the toast. "Its leaves can be made into a tea that has mood-elevating properties. I've tried it myself, and even breathing it has a calming effect."

[dead_black_eyes]

"Ms. Goldman," he said quietly, peering at it uncertainly. "It sounds like you're describing something I'd be... very interested to try... but I'm 2 years clean this month. Is this some kind of test?"

[belphe]

"No." she said, trying not to show agitation at the assumption. Granted, she HAD indirectly accused him of being in the grips of a drug binge in response to his manic NEED to pursue a missing child...

"I would hardly compare it to illegal substances. If anything, this plant is what antidepressants currently on the market wish they were able to do...provide someone a more sound, clear mind without any side effects or possibly making them feel worse."

Maybe it would be better to show him instead...

She fetched a cup down from the cabinet, cracking the tap to let the water run until it was hot.

[dead_black_eyes]

"It sounds too good to be true," he said sharply, dancing aside as she turned on the tap water. "Do you know how many times someone's told me a medication would change my life, and clear my mind, all without side effects?"

[belphe]

"It's fine to be skeptical. I was as well." she replied. "But it does work."

When the water began to steam, she drew a cup of it, setting it on the counter as well and plucking off one of the plant's leaves. "I washed my hands before we started cooking." she assured him absently as she crushed the leaf between her fingers, letting the pulped pieces crumble onto the water's surface.

As the plant met the water, it released a strange scent...strong, but not unpleasant. It smelled clean, and a bit earthy...as if an early spring breeze had swept through the kitchen. When the leaf had been crushed in entirely as she'd watched Julien do, she breathed in the steam, feeling the same uplifting calm that had washed over her outside of the coffee shop.

Confirming that it had been prepared correctly, she offered it to him. "You don't need to drink it if you'd prefer not to, but try breathing it."

[dead_black_eyes]

It helped that she validated his skepticism. Chewing his thumbnail, he leaned over her shoulder, watching her prepare the hot water and crush and stir the plant's leaves into it.

Seeming to still be suspicious, he nevertheless caved to her request; just days before he had lit up a catnip joint, after all, so his refusal to just inhale some steam seemed comparatively unreasonable.

The result was more or less instantaneous: immediately, a calming wave gliding over him, and he found himself reaching for the cup, holding it close to his face, blowing the surface so it cooled more quickly.

[belphe]

She gave it over to him, watching as his interest in it suddenly augmented.

"If you find that it helps you, I'd like you to keep in mind that it's in the apartment." she told him. "On days when you're feeling overwhelmed, like today, I'd like you to try making yourself a cup of tea before doing anything else."

[dead_black_eyes]

Dazedly, he nodded; it seemed like the best of all worlds, after all, with a therapist-sanctified way to indulge in a mind-altering herb without having to worry about the law or an overdose.

"But... what is it, and where did you get it? I care about that much. I always have..."

[belphe]

"It's a plant that someone else received from a pulse. They gave a cutting of it to a young man named Julien, who was offering it to people on the network a couple of weeks back. I thought his claims of what it could do were intriguing, and...I thought it might be interesting to see a plant that wasn't native to earth."

Not even serious-minded therapists-in-training were immune to the child-like wonder of alien species and concepts of other worlds, after all.

"A lot of people were interested in seeing it as well, so I had to wait my turn, but it's just as he said it was. And he brought me a cutting of it to keep, saying that it grows very quickly...which also seems true."

Indeed, the plant looked as if it had been happily at home in the pot she'd placed it in for many months, rather than a few weeks.

[dead_black_eyes]

He took a cautious sip, deciding that it had cooled enough for him to manage it without burning his lips or the roof of his mouth.

"I take it you've been using it, too, or else you wouldn't have offered it to me. I think you're more ethical than that," he said.

[belphe]

"I have." she confirmed. "Only a little now and then, though, when it's especially needed. Julien said he didn't believe it was habit-forming as he'd been using it for awhile and could go without it for long periods with no ill effects, but I felt it was better to be careful."

She, in fact, seemed so unconcerned about his drinking the tea that she turned her attention to getting the butter out of the fridge so that the pan could be greased when the toast was done soaking in the mixture he'd finished.

[dead_black_eyes]

Not habit-forming? Well, that was like winning the jackpot... but if a tolerance could be built, L was something of a champion at doing just that.

"Probably better to be careful," he agreed, already making plans to purchase a thermos and drink Athelas regularly.

[belphe]

She nodded once in agreement. "If you like, once it grows out a bit more, I can make you a cutting of it to keep in your room. ...though in the meantime, we should probably not let that egg mixture sit out for too long."