savetheearth | [closed] when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie

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[closed] when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie

Who: Walter, Danny, and Octavia creeping in the bushes

When: 2/14, evening

Where: Some swish lil cafe

What: SMOKING HOT DATE that neither of them technically agreed to

[ When Tavia first texted him, he wasn't especially suspicious. What was there to be suspicious of? She just wanted to meet up and get the earplugs he failed to deliver the day before. The whole 'and I have a surprise' thing was a little strange, though.

As Walter sits in the cafe, waiting and alone with his thoughts, things start seeming even stranger. Wasn't the whole point of the supply run to keep her out of public? This place is packed with couples and not conspicuous at all. The sleep deprivation must be impairing her judgement even more than usual.

He scans the crowd again, thinking he may have missed her, but he's definitely the only single person in the place. Boy, that's pretty awkward. Walter busies himself with the Valentine's themed menu, half-considering texting her and calling this whole thing off. ]

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[If everything had gone according to plan, right now Danny would be heading over to the Petite Trifle cafe to have dinner with his girlfriend. They hadn't been together much lately, what with Danny's involvement in all this network stuff eating up his time, and although she was very understanding, Danny still felt bad about it. So he was absolutely going to make up for it tonight. Even if it would be two hours of bashfully blushing at each other, BY GOD he was going to do it!

Except not, because for some reason things go blank and the next thing he knows, he's at a completely different cafe and sitting down at a small table across from Walter. He looks around, trying to figure out where he is but nothing about this place is familiar.]

Uhhhh. Hi, there?

[He's trying to look calm and collected but he's starting to freak out a little. Seriously, how did he end up here?]

[ He's mere moments from texting Tavia when Danny parks himself at his table. Which is pretty random and distracting, so the phone is getting shut and tucked away. Why... is he here? Not that he's complaining, really, since Danny is a pretty nice guy, and it's probably a coincidence. Just... a really, really strange one. ]

Um. Danny...?

[ He rebounds with a puzzled smile as he sets the menu down. It has to be a coincidence. What else could it be? ]

Hey... are you waiting for someone too?

[Walter may notice that Danny is dressed for the holiday--or at least, a little bit. Instead of the hoodie and jeans he's been wearing all winter, he's in a button-up shirt with nice slacks and shoes.

(Plus his usual hat to try and hide at least some of his white hair.)

He focuses his attention from the rest of the cafe back to Walter.]

I...guess so? I mean, yeah, I am. But I'm starting to think this isn't the right place.

So you're lost...?

[ It seems a little silly at first, but Locke City has tons of cafes and it's probably easy to get mixed up. Still, Danny's confusion is a bit disconcerting. He's dressed well, and that's probably for a reason, so he'd like to get the poor guy back on track.

Walter's smile shrinks, but his tone remains relatively upbeat. Surely he can set things right. ]

Where were you going, Danny? I can try to help you find the place.

Maybe? This doesn't look like where I was planning to be, anyway. I don't even know where this place is--I guess I didn't see the street signs or anything on my way over.

[Or...anything else, for that matter.]

This...isn't the Petite Trifle place, is it.

It... no, it's not. Um.

[ Okay, Danny is acting kind of senile, and that is very worrying. All traces of the smile have been wiped from Walter's face as he leans in a little. ]

Are you okay?

I...I think so.

[His brows furrow.]

I just--I don't really remember coming here.

O...kay.

We can worry about that later. Let's just try to get you where you were going. You must be running a little late.

[ Looking up this 'Petite Trifle' place on his phone, and... Danny has definitely missed the mark. ]

Do you want a ride?

Edited 2014-02-17 23:43 (UTC)

[He blinks, kind of dazed and confused. Things are happening so quickly and he's still trying to figure out how he even got here.

Everything happens so much.]

You have a car?

Yeah! ...well, it's. Not exactly mine...

[ PARENTMOBILE. The station wagon that was parked crookedly and almost taking up two spaces? Yeah, that was him. ]

But the point is, I can drive you to the other cafe. I'm heading out anyway.

[ Firing off a quick message to Octavia, because meeting here is a terrible idea and this is a good excuse to cancel. He then gets up and starts making his way towards the exit. ]

[ OH NO YOU GUYS DON'T. Octavia is, naturally, hiding in some nearby bushes and awaiting the results of her ~*~*totally amazing matchmaking skills.*~*~ Absconding in favour of getting in Walter's car is only acceptable if hardcore snogging is going to take place. And she doesn't think that's going to happen.

Yet.

Maybe if she just. Helps them along? A teeny little bit more. That can't hurt. They're such weenies they'll never do this on their own! Even though they are SO PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER. Mind control time! She fixes her gaze on Danny, pokes her tongue out in concentration and pokes at his mind. So rude. ]

Hey! No leaving! Tell Wally you want to stay here with him. And be smooth about it! Flirt a little!

[ HELPING. ]

[And the next thing Danny knows (or doesn't know, really, because he isn't really in control of his faculties any more), he's standing up and grasping Walter's wrist before he gets too far away from the table.]

On second thought...my plans aren't all that important! Why don't we just stay here? Together? Just the two of us?

Just the...? Why?

[ NONE OF THIS COMPUTES. He's trying to apply logic, but he's blanking, and it takes him a second to recollect his thoughts. ]

I think I... should just take you home. C'mon...

[ Well, Danny's already linked to his wrist, so Walter clasps a hand over his and tries to gently pull him towards the exit. ]

[ THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS

Octavia seriously sodding high-fives herself. That's an actual thing that she fucking does. And then her hands go to her temples instead because IT IS TIME TO TAKE THIS TO THE NEXT LEVEL, DANNY! ]

Look into his eyes! And tell him he's pretty or that his hair is amazing or something! STROKE THE HAIR DANNY DO IT DO IT DOOOOOOOO IIIIIIIITTTTTTTT.

[Danny stands up, but he does not budge. He gently stares into Walter's eyes (however gently staring works).]

But Walter...we're already here, and...

[Danny lifts his free hand and softly strokes Walter's silken, flowing tresses of hair just like in all the movies. He's a little too close for comfort. Walter could smell his cologne at this distance.]

...your hair is really, really nice tonight.

Edited 2014-02-21 00:34 (UTC)

Uh.

[ Wow, they've taken a rather steep dive down this roller coaster of insanity. Walter's grasp on the English language completely fails for a few long seconds and his face is burning as red as his (apparently especially nice) hair.

Is this real life??

He tries to step back a bit and do what he usually does in an intensely awkward situation -- laugh it off -- but it sounds pretty strangled. ]

This is a joke, right? Did someone put you up to this?

[ Octavia is a fucking matchmaking genius. Barely resisting the urge to roll around and kick her legs in the air as an expression of her unending glee, she instead settles for clasping her chin in her hands and sighing softly.

Look at Wally! He's all blushy and coy. Adorable. Maybe just one more little nudge in the right direction wouldn't hurt. ]

Time to make your move! Put your arms around that blushing uke and smooch him good, Danny. We are going FULL YAOIS.

[ KYAA~ ]

[Danny goes FULL YAOIS.

The hand that was stroking Walter's hair is now applying pressure, bringing Walter nearer as Danny closes in for the kiss. Danny presses his lips up against Walter's in the most cinematic Disney kiss ever seen on this side of real life. And he stays there. Turns out, not having to breathe makes it really easy to prolong a kiss for maximum romance (although Walter and his lungs may have some trouble with that).

In the cafe, people begin to look over and start sighing and swooning at this passionate display of young love. Somewhere else in Locke City, Cascada's 'Every Time We Touch' begins playing.]

[ THERE ARE NO WORDS. He thought he'd been blanking before, but that was nothing in comparison to the mental fog overtaking his brain right now. There's an explosion of butterflies in his stomach and he grabs Danny's shoulder, squeezing as hard as he can.

Which is pretty dang hard when you've been infused with demonic strength! That's going to seriously hurt.

He pushes Danny away and stumbles back, careening into another table in the process. Walter tries to save himself, but the only thing he manages to grab is the tablecloth. Down comes the entire contents of the table, including a mostly-finished bowl of soup, which. Ends up on his head.

If the floor opened up and swallowed him, he would not complain. ]

[ THIS IS NOT THE YAOI OCTAVIA SIGNED UP FOR. Midway through making tiny gurgly squealing noises at ~*~*~*THE KISS*~*~*~, the noises quickly turn into a tiny squeak of despair. Wally. Wally, no. No. WHY MUST YOUR CLUMSINESS RUIN EVERYTHING?

She's so distressed (and yaoi-blocked) that she lets her grip on Danny's mind go without thinking about it. Enjoy the sweet freedom of bodily autonomy, dude. ]

[Danny has no idea why he's standing up, why his shoulder seems to hurt for no reason, or why there's a huge commotion in the cafe now until he looks down and sees Walter wrapped in tablecloth and covered in soup.]

Oh my god, Walter! Are you okay?

[He steps over and kneels down to offer a hand to help him up.]

Am I...

[ He has the audacity to ask after that?? Normally, logic would prevail here and let Walter know that Danny wasn't responsible for this, but he has clam chowder in his hair and he has never felt more humiliated in his life. Logic is taking a backseat.

He ignores the hand and gets up on his own, wobbling at bit and wiping at his eyes. He doesn't want to cry, but the embarrassment is a bit too much to handle. ]

There's something very, very wrong with you.

[ Another quick eye rub as he goes back to his table, snags his care package for Octavia, and runs for the exit. He needs to be away from everyone in this cafe right now. ]

[ Walter's crying Walter's crying WALTER'S CRYING

ABANDON YAOIS

Octavia leaps out of the bushes - bringing a few twigs along with her that got stuck in her hair, naturally - and manages to catch him at the exit. She looks utterly horrified. ]

Wally! What's wrong? He didn't grope you, did he? Because eff why eye at no point did I push for groping.

[ That would have come later. Duh. ]

I--w-what?

[Danny has no idea what just happened, but he has a sick, churning feeling in his stomach that he's the cause of it. And as he watches Walter get up and run out, he feels absolutely terrible.

It's only after he's left alone standing in the cafe that he realizes everyone is staring at him, which prompts him to pull his hat down over his hair further and then leave the cafe himself.

Which is when he not only spots Walter, who he thought had already booked it away from here, but also Octavia, of all people. He isn't quite sure what to do except stand there and stare silently.]

[ He nearly screams at the hairy bushmonster bursting out of the foliage, but quickly realizes who it is.

And another realization follows immediately afterwards. Another terrible, awful realization. She's getting the shoulder-crushing grip of doom this time. ]

You. You didn't.

[ But she basically admitted it. He looks back at Danny, expression guilt-ridden, and sees the rubberneckers lined up at the window, trying to watch the conclusion to this weird teen drama. Walter starts pushing Octavia back, shielding the fugitive from view and gesturing at Danny to follow as well. ]

My car. Now.

[ And they're all going to said car, even if he has to drag a certain guilty party and shove her into the backseat. He gets into the driver's seat himself. ]

[ Octavia doesn't have to be dragged exactly, but some level of firm ushering is absolutely required. She grumbles lightly under her breath as she's bundled into the back seat of walter's stupid dumb lamey-lame car for weenies, rubbing her shoulder absently. ]

I didn't what? Finish your sentences, Wally. God.

[ And she peers out of the window. ]

Hi, Danny!

[ HAVE A SMILE AND A WAVE. They're all friends here, after all. ]

[Danny still hasn't quite caught on to what's going on here himself, but he's just dazed and confused in general right now.

With Octavia in the backseat, Danny takes the passenger seat. He glances between them both.]

Uhhh. What's going on?

[ NOPE. NO FEIGNING INNOCENCE ALLOWED. He's so flustered he actually smacks the steering wheel and squeezes it like he's trying to throttle it. ]

We're not playing that game tonight, Octavia.

[ And because he doesn't want to dance around the massive elephant in the station wagon anymore, he looks at Danny and -- ]

You were... mind controlled.

Yeah! By me!

[ She's just clarifying, Danny. In case there are any other mind controlling douchebags around here. ]

You are both welcome. Or you would be if one of you didn't mess it up, I guess? Still ain't entirely sure what happened there.

...I was what?!

[He falls silent for a few seconds while his brain catches up after that automatic reaction.]

Is that why I can barely remember anything from the past half hour? Oh my god, I can't--what did I do?!

Yes, Tavia. Go ahead and tell him what he "did".

[ It's partially a punishment for her wrongdoing, but mostly because he doesn't want to revisit it again himself. His face would completely explode.

Walter crosses his arms and looks at her expectantly. ]

You went on a date! With Wally!

[ Punishment? What punishment? Octavia is only too proud to divulge the deets. WHY WOULDN'T SHE BE. ]

It was super cutie and romantic and also there was smooching. Briefly! You guys look adorable together, just eff why eye.

You...you made me go out on a date with him?!

[Danny hides his face in his hand. It's then that an echo hits him, and suddenly he remembers something very similar happening to him before--a ghost with a hypnotizing love spell, spending a whole day as a lovesick puppy...

If that's what he was like while Octavia was controlling him, he's glad he doesn't remember THAT time, at least.]

I--Octavia, just--why.

You can't really call it a date when neither of us wanted to go out.

[ UUUGH sinking down in his seat and rubbing at his eyes again, though this time it's more of an effort to banish the stress/soup bowl-induced headache. ]

Your friends aren't your own personal puppets. I wish you'd understand that.

I do understand that. God!

[ So indignant. Anyone would think she'd done something wrong when she was only doing her good buddies a favour! Gosh. ]

Nobody wants to be alone on Valentine's Day, right? And you two have been super digging on each other since forever. It's so obvious! And so cute. I was just helping!

[There are so many things wrong with that statement Danny does not even know where to begin.]

I--you--if we [he points a finger back and forth between himself and Walter] wanted to go on a date, we would've! I can't believe... Nobody wants to--Octavia, I already had a date I was supposed to go to tonight anyway!

Where are you even getting this from? You weren't there when --

[ HALTING RIGHT THEN AND THERE. The Halloween Incident doesn't need to be dicussed with Octavia around, since there's no possible way she could know.

Focusing on Danny instead, especially after what he says sinks in. Oh no. Oh no. Guilt levels increasing exponentially. ]

...I'm so, so sorry, Danny...

[ Octavia looks at Danny and opens her mouth.

Then closes it.

Then looks at Walter and opens her mouth again.

Then closes it.

After a few more rounds of glancing between them, she finally manages to say something. ]

I wasn't there when what?

[ WAIT NO THAT WASN'T WHAT SHE MEANT TO SAY CURSE HER NEED FOR GOSSIP ]

I mean, uh. I didn't. Know you had a date, Danny. Uh. I guess I hecked up?

Unless you have been inspired to dump your old date for Wally because you are totally bonering at each other.

Nothing! Nothing happened, okay?

[He sighs and pulls out his phone as it starts vibrating with a text notification. The cafe cancelled their reservation because he was being considered a no-show. Great.]

Well...I would've told you, but I didn't think you were going to mind control me into going on a date with Walter instead!

And no, I am not going to go on a date with him, and I am not bonering at him.

...no offense, Walter.

[ This time, Walter only half-hears what they say and mumbles something indistinct in response. This night is such a trainwreck. He can't possibly sink down any lower, both physically and metaphorically, so he fiddles with the care package in his lap instead. He opens it and removes the earplugs, leaving the last-minute friendly Valentine's cookies behind, and tosses them back in Tavia's general direction.

If they bonk her in the head, he won't be too bothered. ]

[ BONK. ]

I'm sorry, okay! Man. I was trying to do something nice! For friends! On Valentine's Day! Because love and smooches and stuff are awesome. God.

[ ... ]

And Danny, if it helps? I am pretty sure that standing up your kismesis is like. Classic hate-date material. He'll love it. You're welcome.

[ Because OBVIOUSLY Danny's date was with Skyler. OBVIOUSLY. ]

[He doesn't even notice Walter's dejection because the second he realizes Octavia is assuming his date was with Skyler, he's sputtering in a combination of utter shock and disgust.]

It wasn't with Skyler, it was with my girlfriend! Oh my god, Octavia!

[He slides down in the passenger seat, his groaning muffled by his hands covering his face.]

Love and smooches and stuff are only awesome if I know they're happening and if I agreed to them!

[ He caught that bit, at least. He's heard that name somewhere before, hasn't he? ]

Skyler...? The guy who drew --

[ Walter gives them both a weird look before quickly shaking his head, because it's clearly none of his business, and he's not sure he can handle another plot twist this evening. ]

I don't think we're going to get anywhere with her. Let's just... ...the offer for that ride still stands.

[ Though if Danny wants out of the Awkwardmobile, he can't blame him. It's also starting to smell like soup. ]

Hey! Don't talk like I ain't here! I apologised!

[ She scootches forward to poke her head into the front of the car. YO, GUYS. YOOOOOOOO. ]

You can't still be mad when I said sorry! What else do you want from me?

[He doesn't even notice she's come closer until he hears her voice coming from the side of him, rather than behind.]

I want for this to have not happened at all.

[But he knows that's not possible, unless one of them can suddenly time travel now, which he's pretty sure none of them can.]

Octavia, sit back and shut up.

[ His voice has never been that low before. It's probably hard to believe he's capable of such a tone, but there it is.

He jerks back up and buckles himself in before turning the ignition. ]

And seat belt, please.

[ No matter how upset he is, ~safety first~ ]

[ Please. Like Walter can really make Tavia shut up. Nobody can make her do anything. She raises a hand to her temple, ready to show him exactly who's the fucking boss around here.

Then lowers it. Because you don't make puppets out of your friends even if they're dumb ungrateful assholes who are mad with you even after you said sorry. GOD. ]

I don't need a seatbelt. I'm immortal.

[ But she sits back. And shuts up. ]

[Danny shuts up too, partially because Walter does not sound like he's in the mood for more bullshit, and partially because he doesn't have anything else to add.

Instead, he just buckles his seatbelt as instructed.]

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[closed] when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie

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