savetheearth | video; late at night

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video; late at night

[ It is a very tired Octavia that turns on her webcam tonight. An Octavia that is too tired to care that she's showing herself on the network sporting her dorky orange sun jammies and a giant tangle of bed hair. ]

So, uh. Lately I'm not sleeping so - [YAWWWWWWWWN] - great or whatever. Because, um.

[ She rubs at her eyes under her glasses briefly. ]

Nightmares! Yeah. I am having super terrible nightmares. Like. The worst. So I was hoping somebody would know how to stop somebody having dreams and stuff? Google isn't hel--

[ Then she's cut off by an exceedingly shouty voice that some might recognise as Alan's coming from somewhere offscreen. ]

I'LL KILL YOU ALL!

[ And she slams her laptop shut with a shriek. Busteeeeeeeed. ]

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guess i'm never going to any of alan's slumber parties. anyway have you considered elephant tranquilizers

~~Yes, 8ut the shipping from e8ay is astronomi~~ Oh my god NO. You want me to DRUG my precious cutie-cute 8oyfriend?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

sarcasm, octavia. (mostly.) have you tried having him kill a bunch of things before bed, like therapeutically? preferably not real things. like violent video games or something. maybe that would temporarily sate his bloodlust.

It's TAVIA. And he 8n't got like. REAL 8loodlust!
Just 8ad dreams. He is ALL A8OUT not killing any8ody. Ever.

[ Except that one time he TOTALLY DID KILL A GUY. ]

8ut I guess we can try an hour on GTA or something every night.
And hopefully it won't just desensitise him and make it WORSE!
8ecause if it DOES make it worse? I am coming for you, Captain Gremlin.
I will find you and I will 8oot you in the dick.

...okay, before we go any further, let's make a deal. i'll call you tavia and you'll never call me that ever again.

No deal, Captain Gremlin!
Cappy Grem8les.
C-Gremz!
The name suits you. It would 8e a travesty - a CRIME - to throw it aside.
You are stuck with it. And if I have to suffer some8ody who 8n't my mom or Alan calling me Octavia, that is just the price I will have to pay!

whatever. suit yourself. i'll think of something much worse than your name. in the meantime, i think your manbaby needs about 20ccs of graphic cartoon violence stat, straight into the eyeball. possibly nightly. just think of it like a bedtime story, except your kid's got major issues and i guess you're also probably banging your kid. ugh, i just grossed myself out.

GROSS!!!!!!!!
Ok. Ok! Your name has now 8een modified to Captain Gremlincest.
You 8rought this totally on yourself, and I hope you are 800% ashamed of your life and EACH AND EVERY ONE of your choices.
ALL your choices.
All of them.

it's not gonna matter what dumbass thing you're calling me if your boyfriend goes on a murderous sleepwalking rampage and kills everyone in your house. maybe we should focus on that. and before you say anything, i know he doesn't want to kill everyone. but this is someone who can turn into a giant monster, so there's a certain degree of extra precaution required here, don't you think?

Oh my god he doesn't sleepwalk. Or sleepmurder. He only sleepyells!
And that is TOTALLY not going to change.
Pro8a8ly.
Right?

Are you like suggesting I tie him down 8ecause I don't think I could deal with more 8ondage jokes they are already taking over my life

you really wanna test it? i may not know him as well as you do, but i do know that if something like that happened and he wound up accidentally hurting someone - especially you - he'd be beside himself. and i don't know about you, but angsty, brooding alan isn't something i'm prepared to deal with any more than bloodthirsty sleepmonster alan. let's ensure neither of those alans ever come to life, yeah? no bondage required. hopefully.

Ok fine I will try your dum8 shitty ideas for losers.
8ut if he takes ANY of it as a sign that I don't trust him to not murder people (8ECAUSE I DO) then I will 8oot you in the junk TWICE and also mind control some governmental schlu8 into changing your name to Captain Gremlin LEGALLY AND OFFICIALLY.

you know, i get the feeling maybe you don't like me very much, octavia.

You past-life 8eat up my 8oyfriend even if it was for his own good and also your face irrit8tes me.
I am doing a face like yours to myself right now, even though you can't see it! It is hideous.

8ut other than that it 8n't that I DISLIKE you or whatever. This is how I am with people! And gremlins. ::::)

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video; late at night

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