Sixth Bullet - Text; laptop

[dyingtohealyou]

So has anyone else gotten a pulse that made them irrationally hate some

[He originally types "one", only to backspace and fix it.]

something? Or am I just lucky?

I need somewhere else to crash. If I stay in this house much longer, I'm going to go insane.

Comments

[espigeonage]

I see.

I want to hope you don't end up going so far. You give a damn about some things. You've wanted to help people, and birds. Protect those kids Blaine knew.

[dyingtohealyou]

Trust me, I don't exactly want to go diving off the deep end here just because it turns out other me was batshit.

[espigeonage]

I don't think anyone does.

[It's disquieting to think he and by extension others might not have a choice.]

Well. Write letters. Do what you can to not be him, where you can.

[dyingtohealyou]

Yeah. Guess we'll see how long I last, huh?

[The power had been kind of nice but... The fact that he might lose himself to these memories just makes it feel so not worth it.]

[espigeonage]

Right.

lol this all gets better all the time.

[dyingtohealyou]

"Better"

Yeah I guess that's a way of putting it.

[espigeonage]

That it is.

Idk. Try and make the most of the time you have? If it's the rest of your life or just until the next pulse. Be you while you can. If you're going to turn into someone else make sure he has some confusing memories.

[dyingtohealyou]

And write myself a bucket list while I'm at it?

[A pause.]

Though I guess death of self is still a form of death, huh.

[...What a depressing thought.]

[espigeonage]

If someone gets really bad PTSD or something and a lot about them changes, is who they were dead? Things can be helped but they might never be who they were before. But this isn't that, even.

We've all got a chance of being killed by weird things just by living in this city. A higher chance because we're networked. Everyone, really, should try and make whatever time count.

[dyingtohealyou]

Still feels like having your own personality slowly overwritten by someone else's is a bit different.

[But hey, that might just be his impression so far.]

Is that what you're doing?

[espigeonage]

Yeah.

More or less! Kind of have this feeling that the next time I change I won't like it. [He never likes it.] And I know it's hard on everyone who's got forced to stay home because of pulses, but I actively don't have the funds for that. Also it's not something I could do. I need light and air and lots of living things around me, and I need that just about every day. So if what I think is gonna happen happens I'm leaving Locke.

And that's a death of self too. I'm not who I was when this started. It's not just because of pulses, directly.

[dyingtohealyou]

Does anyone like getting these...?

I don't mind changing as much as long as it's my own growth. But getting it from someone else is just... too weird.

I don't like it.

[espigeonage]

I doubt it. There are some people actually trying to get pulses. I think they're all new, but idk.

It's not organic. It's not really a reaction to things. I mean, it's a reaction, but not natural.

[dyingtohealyou]

Yeah, can't really imagine anyone who's been around long enough would look forwards to getting more of these things.

Even if your memories aren't shitty, there's people who have echoed back some pretty nasty mutations.

[espigeonage]

Don't I know it. They'll learn, I guess.

[dyingtohealyou]

Everyone gets it eventually.

Kind of depressing when you think about it.