Reilanin (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
goldenclothes) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
savetheearth2014-01-17 03:40 pm
goldenclothes) wrote in savetheearth2014-01-17 03:40 pm
Belief / Full Moon
Who: Alexander and Reilanin
Where: Alexander and Ravindra's apartment
When: 1/16, evening
What: Reilanin goes to visit, unaware Alexander is freaking out about the echo he received from Henry's power.
Warnings? tba?
She could feel it, imperceptible, beginning to itch beneath her skin. Tonight was safe- tomorrow would be the full moon. Lyall would not be there. Nick would not be there. No one had heard from Angela, as far as she knew- it would just be her and Hajime.
She tried not to think of it. There were a lot of things she was trying not to think about, and a small part of her wondered if that was a smart thing to do.
Not that she felt any of her decisions were smart, so long as they involved her leaving the house. Someone had mentioned working from home. It had been in talks at work, given how often she had been "ill" as of late. Simply a matter of time before they had an idea of how to shift her duties. Most of it could be done from a distance, she reasoned. Just a matter of time.
But today was not work. Today was to visit Alexander. She wondered if he tired of seeing her. Having such a small pool of people she felt comfortable speaking to herself, she certainly wasn't, but Alexander was an altogether different sort from her, much more sociable and outgoing, and she had already seen how things had changed with him since he had confined himself. It made her feel guilty that she did likewise in light of this, but being among other people was difficult.
Everyone just looked so good, and she was starving.
There was never very much traffic in the apartment. That was good. She knew who owned cats and who had a dog, who had also confined themselves to their apartment, who was rarely there. One apartment burned incense and she hurried past it quickly. She knocked on the door, going through her purse for a kleenex, pressing it over her nose with both hands, trying to keep her eyes from watering, to no avail. Another good reason not to go out. Smokers were an even greater nuisance now than they ever had been before.
Who: Hajime and Reilanin
Where: Lyall's house :3c
When: 1/17, evening
What: It's the full moon! :D
Warnings? tba!
She was very careful to keep an eye on the time. While it was still daylight, gone from work early, afternoon off, teetering between starvation and nausea, she made her way to Randolph's place. Would it be enough with just Hajime? It felt like too much, actually, but that was just because her pride and dignity had taken a good stab.
No big deal.
Garage? The room? She didn't like the idea of breaking anything in Randolph's room and it felt too much like trespassing. The whole thing felt like some huge invasion of privacy, but there wasn't much choice to be had in the matter. She had to be somewhere, and someone had to be somewhere with her, end of story. Hajime was to be her- what was that funny word Randolph had used, claviger? It still meant nothing to her. Not a bit of trivia from her own past, then.
She locked the door of the garage behind her, stripped, bundled herself up in a blanket, waited. Third time around, still no better. The itch was maddening, like she could just scratch away her skin. What if it never got better? Oh, she didn't know if she could handle that. The idea of it scared her more than anything else, the ongoing dread as each month approached, the anticipation-
At least she didn't have time to wonder what Hajime thought about the transformation. It seemed a little swifter than the first time, though no less painful. It wasn't long at all before the familiar angry snarls and slams against the door signalled the end of her transformation and recovery.
Where: Alexander and Ravindra's apartment
When: 1/16, evening
What: Reilanin goes to visit, unaware Alexander is freaking out about the echo he received from Henry's power.
Warnings? tba?
She could feel it, imperceptible, beginning to itch beneath her skin. Tonight was safe- tomorrow would be the full moon. Lyall would not be there. Nick would not be there. No one had heard from Angela, as far as she knew- it would just be her and Hajime.
She tried not to think of it. There were a lot of things she was trying not to think about, and a small part of her wondered if that was a smart thing to do.
Not that she felt any of her decisions were smart, so long as they involved her leaving the house. Someone had mentioned working from home. It had been in talks at work, given how often she had been "ill" as of late. Simply a matter of time before they had an idea of how to shift her duties. Most of it could be done from a distance, she reasoned. Just a matter of time.
But today was not work. Today was to visit Alexander. She wondered if he tired of seeing her. Having such a small pool of people she felt comfortable speaking to herself, she certainly wasn't, but Alexander was an altogether different sort from her, much more sociable and outgoing, and she had already seen how things had changed with him since he had confined himself. It made her feel guilty that she did likewise in light of this, but being among other people was difficult.
Everyone just looked so good, and she was starving.
There was never very much traffic in the apartment. That was good. She knew who owned cats and who had a dog, who had also confined themselves to their apartment, who was rarely there. One apartment burned incense and she hurried past it quickly. She knocked on the door, going through her purse for a kleenex, pressing it over her nose with both hands, trying to keep her eyes from watering, to no avail. Another good reason not to go out. Smokers were an even greater nuisance now than they ever had been before.
Who: Hajime and Reilanin
Where: Lyall's house :3c
When: 1/17, evening
What: It's the full moon! :D
Warnings? tba!
She was very careful to keep an eye on the time. While it was still daylight, gone from work early, afternoon off, teetering between starvation and nausea, she made her way to Randolph's place. Would it be enough with just Hajime? It felt like too much, actually, but that was just because her pride and dignity had taken a good stab.
No big deal.
Garage? The room? She didn't like the idea of breaking anything in Randolph's room and it felt too much like trespassing. The whole thing felt like some huge invasion of privacy, but there wasn't much choice to be had in the matter. She had to be somewhere, and someone had to be somewhere with her, end of story. Hajime was to be her- what was that funny word Randolph had used, claviger? It still meant nothing to her. Not a bit of trivia from her own past, then.
She locked the door of the garage behind her, stripped, bundled herself up in a blanket, waited. Third time around, still no better. The itch was maddening, like she could just scratch away her skin. What if it never got better? Oh, she didn't know if she could handle that. The idea of it scared her more than anything else, the ongoing dread as each month approached, the anticipation-
At least she didn't have time to wonder what Hajime thought about the transformation. It seemed a little swifter than the first time, though no less painful. It wasn't long at all before the familiar angry snarls and slams against the door signalled the end of her transformation and recovery.
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"Why?" he asked, not yet ready to resume drinking, still recovering from the sharpness of the first.
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She put the tumbler down with a loud clink. "Depending on which direction this goes... it might be better for everyone involved if I left, don't you think?"
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She shrugged, pausing before she took the rum and poured some into her glass. Just a splash. She shuddered after she swallowed and put her glass back down, still stained red.
"Would you go home?"
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All he really knew about her, outside of Number-related issues, was that she was a librarian with a penchant for finding herself in emergency situations and wanted to avoid her father and brother enough to avoid getting a phone.
In other words, he hardly knew her at all.
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"My mother had cancer. I didn't know that for a long time- I just knew she was sick often. It was in remission when she was pregnant with Mattias. It was stupid that she had him at all-" She bit her tongue. "...it came back. My father moved us here for treatment, but it didn't work. Too late, maybe. Mattias wasn't even in school yet when she died. We ended up staying."
Silent a moment, she looked aside, her voice making things factual. "I think it's because she's here that my father didn't- won't- leave. Mattias graduates this year. Maybe once that's done..."
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Reilanin's voice filtered back in, then tapered off.
"Did you wanna leave? Like... before all of this."
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Tired. She felt tired. Maybe it was the memory. Maybe it was the remembering. Maybe it was its own kind of echo. She always felt tired in her memories.
"Maybe when I figure out how to deal with the transformation..."
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"So, I'd leave."
It sounded simple. Would it be simple? Part of her felt like there was some worth in sticking around. Maybe it was simply a matter of who was still there.
Maybe when Alexander left...
"I'll leave here. When the time comes."
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No mercy, not even in self-pity parties. Life so hard for Alexander Varista.
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She started when he started coughing. "You all right?" she asked, reaching out and thumping him lightly on the back before letting her hand hover and pull back. "Wrong way?"
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Winter. A tavern. Ravindra on the table beside him. Rum. Leaving the city. Couldn't -- water. Wouldn't -- Rayna. His fledgling.
Alex groaned. He couldn't even drink his miserable self to sleep without Network bullshit inviting itself.
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She waited, hesitant to call attention back to herself, reviewing the conversation. "About leaving...?" There was no answering call for her, though she was waiting for it. This wasn't like the ledger, though- dread of a kind, but the sense that there was something coming wasn't there.
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His grip on the glass loosened, until he finally decided to set it in the sink. He wasn't as careful as he would have liked; the glass clinked and clattered against the metal as it toppled over. He turned back around to face her, slouching against the edge of the sink, but his eyes settled on his other glass on the island, empty save for the blood that clung to its inside.
"Vin wanted me to leave the city with him, but I couldn't. Couldn't cross water."
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She walked over and handed it to him.
"Vin- oh, that's right... you mentioned Ravindra had been there, too." But not the Ravindra that was emerging, by the sounds of it.
Running water... that was pretty oldschool. But then, the stake, the cross... she didn't wear hers as often as she ought. She used to wear one when she was younger.
She kept from rubbing at her neck. "Well, hey... if you ever want to go to England, you can always... no, nevermind," she muttered. She didn't want to say it out loud. "Nevermind. There are a lot of places you can go from here, so you aren't trapped like you were." She couldn't remember the geography of Tyrol. Had it been between rivers? Well, it didn't really matter here and now.
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Then, thought caught up with action. "Sorry," he murmured, an apology to her ears.
After settling into the chair, he reached for the drink and pulled it towards him. He was not a very spectacular sight, slouched and hunched over the island, not unlike how one usually slept at school desks. He brought the glass to his mouth, but didn't drink nor tip it back, rather rest on it with his bottom lip against the rim.
He looked, in a word, sullen.
"No," he said, almost like a wise sigh, "we're trapped. I'm trapped. You're trapped. We're all trapped. Leave and we lose it."
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She watched him a moment, then leaned with her back against the island, looking towards the sink before she simply decided to slide down the side and settled on the floor, knees up in front of her, sitting on her hands.
Trapped. Yes, that was a good word for it. So long as she felt any obligation to stay, she likely would. "...s'pose so," she said softly, finding nothing to refute what he was saying.
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Welcome to Melodramatic Drunk Speech 101 with Instructor Varista, Reilanin.
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"Are you going to keep helping with what's going on?" she asked instead, knowing Alexander was as active as he could get away with being with the network. She didn't know how much she wanted to think about what he'd just said, found her thoughts darting away from it.
She didn't like the idea of losing anything; that was unsettling enough. The idea of unexpectedly getting it back again, that bothered her more. They were already getting it all back-
She wasn't really sure she could handle going through getting it all back a second time.
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She sighed again a little, then leaned her head against his leg, staring at the cupboards ahead of her. "And sober."
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Especially with that new memory added to her arsenal... she clamped down automatically on the sudden swell of emotion that rose up in her throat, forced herself to breathe in and out calmly.
Oh, God, she didn't want to be alone again like that. The more she found out about who that other person had been, the less she wanted to be her. How had she managed?
"...you probably should sleep, though." Given the amount he was drinking, that was probably the plan. She sighed a bit as she got herself up off of the floor, rubbing a forearm absentmindedly, finding how he had settled himself on the table. "...c'mon. Chin up. Before you knock the glass over," she said, hand on his back again.
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