text;

[earnedmystripes]

so uh

we might kinda have a problem with the whole, 'get rid of the sniffy alien dogs' plan

they don't go in the same kennel as other police dogs. I

don't actually think they go in any kennels at all? There was a guy with one I was trying to keep an eye on and I don't think he even let go of the leash all day it was creepy

maybe we shouldnt actually kill them

like. They might be freaky aliens too maybe we could find out more about these invader guys if we stole one somehow??? I don't know.

But we'd still need to get one away from its handler...I wonder if dog minds are like people's.

[oh oops that sounds kinda random, doesn't it. quickly adding:]

I mean, for the controlling thing. That that girl can do. like do you guys think its work on non-people-shaped dongs??

pongs

pings

dings

THINGS god i fucking hate autocorrect

[At least it's not pizza porn this time?]

Comments

text

[synonymouswithdookie]

wait wait wait


how the fuck does THINGS even get autocorrected into DONGS at all?

[clearly that's the important thing here]

video

[destinedforrock]

You don't say. I thought the point of it was to notice when you're not using actual words.

text

[earnedmystripes]

I swear whoever made this phone is a pervert

one time I tried to say pizza and then it was porn I'm not even shitting you

text

[sassymaru]

oh

so it was YOUR phone's autocorrect i was playing with...

text

[sassymaru]

okay no wait

why are we KILLING dogs ???

text

[earnedmystripes]

asldkjf

[Text]

[shiromadoushi]

That's why you should turn it OFF already...

Also, stealing a police dog sounds like the dumbest idea ever.

[Text]

[earnedmystripes]

you can do that?

it's not any dumber than just killing them

text;

[hollowleg]

dude what if they have trackers in them or something no. no. if i get my claws into one of these things, the only research they'll be doing on it is on a necropsy table

but thanks for the data

text;

[hollowleg]

also it says a lot about my current mental state that i just noticed your shitty ac stuff hahaha.

dongs

text; hijack

[reapsthewind]

if they have trackers i can either spoof 'em or we can remove them and i dunno

tie it to a pigeon

let them have fun with that

Text

[icy_heavens]

You seriously need to turn that autocorrect off.

Text

[earnedmystripes]

how do I even do that??? :(

[Video]

[destinedforrock]

[She peers in to the text as closely and narrowly as she can partway through towards the end - cocks her eyes and ears unevenly at the... was that meant to be "dogs" or "things" - things, apparently, and flicks her head and holds it up - ]

Well, I volunteer! As a non-person-shaped person! If anybody would like to test that approach. [Voice pushed on an edge smoothly.]

text;

[earnedmystripes]

[aaaaaaa talking horse is back help help what does /flail]

um sorry?? I wasnt sure if talking horses wanna count as people or horses?????? peoplehorses?????

how does that work I don't even know

Text

[dead_black_eyes]

Do you have access to raw steak?

Text

[earnedmystripes]

uh I dont think I could just carry around raw steaks in the station.....

anyway would alien dogs even like steak

text

[mood2wiingiing]

theres a guy who can control aniimals two.
if that2 what were going with.

text

[earnedmystripes]

its more an idea than anything really

that could be really useful though. Can he do it from a distance?

( text )

[argents]

Well, didn't those little fuzzy things - the vermini, or whatever, infect regular animals too? ...Still, that sounds bad, if all they do is try and flush us out. Rather than just act normally. Isn't that kind of a big risk?

( text )

[earnedmystripes]

probably, yeah. But I dunno, it might be a good idea to deal with em now. With the water we could at least try to avoid it, but those dogs could make it harder and harder to go about our lives without getting caught.

Especially if that Sherman guy thinks hes getting results like with that one guy who posted about getting caught the other day. He might start putting more out there

text;

[drama8om8]

~*~*That Girl*~*~ (lol) has a fucking NAME, douchelord! A name that is kind of ALL OVER THE NEWS as well as the network so it is pretty lame to 8e all cutesy and coy and pretend you don't know what it is.
Octavia Serket. Tavia. TAY. VEE. AH. God! It 8n't like it is some 8land-ass hard to remem8er 8ORING name! Make a little effort!!!!!!!!

 

8ut yeah wow no I only do people. No animals!
(Not a 8estiality joke.)
My mindshit doesn't even register animal 8rains. If you want an animal fucked with, ask Travis.
(THAT one can 8e a 8estiality joke.)

text;

[earnedmystripes]

[sdkfjlaks wao what]

look I literally just got back into town like three days ago calm down. Why would I pretend anything I don't even know you???

[He's just not even going to touch the bestiality thing because nope nope nope.]

anyway sorry. octavia, got it

what about the handlers, do you think you could make them let the dogs loose somewhere

[neopianangst]

There's a guy on here who could control animals, too...I think some people can talk to them?

I think that's better than killing them, though...

[earnedmystripes]

yeah I'm thinking it could backfire on us if we did just kill them. We probably need to do *something* before the dogs make it impossible for us to get around though

I'm not really sure of a better way we can get rid of them

[text]

[acequeen]

... lol wow. Count yourself lucky that I haven't uploaded a slowclap emote. At least not yet.

On a more serious note, how exactly are you going to steal one of those dogs when the cops are watching our every move? Surveillance is on their side, you know. If you find any "dog hypnotizers", they'll need to be stealthy.

[text]

[earnedmystripes]

its not even the first time this phone is just weird as hello

[. . .]

...anyway I was thinking more like from a distance? I dont know if there's a range to these things but it looks like [That Girl] Octavia was able to ask for help from the station so it might be doable

well

if we find a dog hypnotizer since she said her powers don't work on animals. I think there was a guy mentioned though, Travis? I don't think I've met him

[espigeonage]

Oh K. Where would we be w/out your autocorrect?

I talked to Mordin once about getting a drone sort of robot and sticking like tissue samples or a pulse item to it, seeing if that could draw one off.

[earnedmystripes]

youd have to go back to apples to keep the doctor away, since we'd be fresh out of laughter for medicine

that is actually a really good idea

I mean assuming the pulsed thing doesnt just come back and end up leading sherman right to the person anyway

[Voice]

[whiterabbit_dot_obj]

Wow, your autocorrect hates you, doesn't it.

[And that's based just on this instance of it, since it's the only exposure to it he's had.]

I'm not sure the dogs would be that easy to lure away, even if we do have someone who can manipulate or take over one. Their handlers probably keep a pretty close eye on them and I doubt they'd just sit back and let one run off.

1/2

[earnedmystripes]

the thing is possessed I swear

its evil and in league with siri to fuck with me

one time it turned a perfectly normal sentence about ordering pizza into one about PORN. to an eleven-year-old, by the way

ELEVEN. THAT'S MY KID'S AGE. SOME LINES WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE CROSSED

[siesinddasessen]

If they are trained in sniffing us out, they might be trained in following the trail of mind control, too. Then trying to control one would put all of us in danger, should it not succeed.

[earnedmystripes]

would that kind of thing really leave a trail?

I dunno. If we tried it could be somewhere far away from where we usually live and work and stuff and have an escape plan in case things go south.....

I wonder if shiro could trace mindcontrol stuff, he was talking about feeling auras and stuff now when he was asking where the dogs were kept earlier

i forgot a header but these links are obviously nsfw

[counterclock]

so i saw your post and it got me thinking
are there actually people shaped dongs?
and since this is obviously a question of massively huge importance
i decided to do some research
and look what i found
i mean wow is that blasphemous or what
i can't decide if this one is blasphemous or just kind of sick
this one is just fucking uncomfortable like why would you even
anyway yeah i don't think they're just gonna be all casually negligent with their murderdogs sorry bro

[earnedmystripes]

[So there is a moment in which Kotetsu literally just stares at this text, torn between morbid curiosity and preservation of sanity. After some moments, morbid curiosity wins out, and he clicks the links, knowing very well he will regret his life and choices for doing so.

And indeed he does. He's actually sort of rendered speechless here--anything he might have had to say about the dogs or ideas for what to do about them are out the window for now.]








*why*

text all the way

[testsonseashells]

Might have personal handlers, then. Not unheard of. If able to inquire after them, should do so.

text forever~

[earnedmystripes]

I'll see what I can find out

you guysll be the first to know if theres something important I can dig up

[Or rather, that Nick can dig up, since he's doing the stupid reckless thing that he's doing.]