text ==> video;

[drama8om8]

So I believe I recently made an incredibly unfortun8 error in judgement and declared the pink light pulse to be the worst pulse ever. What with the buzzing and the migraine I got l8r and the assumption that I didn't get shit from it. I thought it was a bust! A stupid dumb lamey-lame loser pulse for chumps.
8ut! As of today, certain things have come to light. I am an incredibly m8ture and modest individual and this is me st8ting publically, for the record, that I was ABSOLUTELY WRONG. 8)


[ At this point, the message switches to Shitty Webcamovision! Particularly observant viewers might spot Octavia's trademark red shoes off in the top-left of the screen. Most people, on the other hand, will probably just notice the HUGE-ASS PILE OF TREASURE SHE'S STANDING ON HOLY SHIT WHAT. ]



Hey, guys.

Check out my sweet booty.

[ With that - and a magnificent shit-eating grin - she literally rolls out of sight of the camera, giggling like a loser. BEST ECHO EVER. ]

Comments

I WILL USE MY 8RAIN POWERS IF I MUST

[somesayinfire]

You really are. I hope you guys do this for a long time.

But I really hope you guys don't accidentally leave the camera on during one of your sieges on makeout fort.

YOU'D NEED A 8RAIN FIRST AHAHAHA OH *SNAP*

[drama8om8]

 

 

 

If that ever happens you are morally obligated to call me and tell me to cut the broadcast.

OMG 8urn :(((

[somesayinfire]

What if you do it deliberately? Because you totally would.

[drama8om8]

Oh, I would not.

Unless I was just taping it to send to Karson, because he'd cry like a baby and it'd be the literal funniest thing.

[somesayinfire]

[as flatly as possible:] You would taunt your co-Jesus with video footage of you and your boyfriend having sexy fun time.

[drama8om8]

He was also my past-life brother, and I'm pretty sure that means I am obliged to taunt him as much as is humanl-- fairily possible.

[somesayinfire]

Yeah, haven't you already mind controlled him into talking about your butt? You have one hell of a magic holy sibling rivalry going. Another reminder to stay on your good side.

[drama8om8]

Okay new rule WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT ANY SIBLINGS POTENTIALLY HAVING TALKED ABOUT EACH OTHERS' BUTTS BEFORE THEY KNEW THEY WERE SIBLINGS.

It's taboo.

Tabooty.

[somesayinfire]

You're lucky I'm not one of those crotchety old geezers who keeps harping on respecting your elders and junk like that, because wow.

I can't promise I won't break that rule where it would be really funny.

[drama8om8]

What if I pay you off with the big-ass jewel of your choosing.

[somesayinfire]

...Do you know any jewel dealers in the city?

[drama8om8]

Uh. Cool weird couple? The ones that finish each others' sentences like giant dorks.

All this is assuming I can give away bits of treasure without it like. Just coming back to me. Like echo shit does. Uh.

[somesayinfire]

Shit.

I mean... crap. Sorry. I just thought that the universe might decide to throw me a bone here. Selling a magic jewel I got from my best friend would do a lot towards that whole "I can't work" thing.

[drama8om8]

Wow, best friend? Really?

 

 

 

 

I mean uh. I am still kind of hells of rich thanks to my mom's collection of dead husbands? So if, uh. Money is like super tight or whatever I could be all "hey mom I'm failing school slash doing drugs slash having a mental breakdown slash etcetera" and she'll be all "that's nice dear" and absent-mindedly pile money on top of my fakey-fake problems to hide them out of the way. So I could get her to pay you to be my fake tutor! Or fake drug dealer or therapist. Or all of those. At once. Because friends! Friend.

[somesayinfire]

I don't know. I'd feel weird about that kind of lie, even with us being friends. Maybe I could be your actual one of those things? Except drug dealer. I don't know where to find drugs. I didn't even watch the Breaking Bad episode of Mythbusters.

No, that's a lie, I totally did.

[drama8om8]

Iunno. I guess I could stop paying nerds to do my schoolwork and let you teach me shit? Sooner or later I will go grey and get horns and stuff, so then I won't be able to do school stuff anyway.

But just eff why eye, if my mom hits on you it's your own fault.

[somesayinfire]

Oh my god, Tavia, you've been paying people to do your work? For how long? How much do you actually know?

[drama8om8]

Only since school started back up, god! Because all the hero stuff is more important. And because I am super rich and will never need to know anything ever again ever because pile of treasure.

[somesayinfire]

Hero stuff is important, but... come on, Tavia. I don't want to mom out on you, but you need to know some school stuff. Like, yeah, you're probably never going to use calculus in acting, but if you want to become other characters, you need to learn how they work literar...ily.

I did a lot of reading when I was your age. Let me tutor you in English or something.

[drama8om8]

I agree to this on the understanding that you don't ever start editing my fanfiction like Ukey Bertholdt McFifteenbucks.

[somesayinfire]

I wouldn't even know where to start with that. This is just purestrain literary analysis. Well, the best I can do, anyway. I'm no English major or anything.

Honestly, we'll probably spend half the time screwing around gossiping about boys.

[drama8om8]

Then congrats! You are hired. For the cushiest job that ever fucking cushed. Cushions will be jealous of your new cushy life. Actual cushions.

[somesayinfire]

Awesome. I'll be sure to steel myself in case your mom hits on me. Is she into one-armed morticians?

[drama8om8]

Blech. I thought her type was dried-up old dudes with giant life insurance settlements, but now I don't even know.

[somesayinfire]

Apparently we have that in common. Mine are a little more dried-up than usual, but they can't all be winners. Now that I think of it, I've probably treated a few of them. I might have met your mom already!

I shouldn't sound so happy about that.