1st ♒ text

[yerawizarderi]

[Needless to say, this is a little strange and he stares at his ipad for a good few moments before deciding to make a post on the network he's apparently just gained access to. Of course, not reading anything like the FAQ or whatever. He hardly has the patience for that. Pshh. Besides, why read that shit when people could inform him themselves? See? Much easier.]

alright so
here i am doin nothin but browsin tumblr at the local starbucks
rebloggin some shit enjoyin my cinnamon dolce cappuccino
when i saw some random ass post that reminded me of these bleedin numbers from for fuck ever ago
not even sure why it did considerin it had literally nothin to do with these fuckin numbers but whatever
so here i am again thinkin id fuck around and see if they DO anythin
low and fuckin behold what the shit is this
some sorta secret network i had no idea about with a one way ticket to it through some arbitrary as fuck numbers that i never was able to forget
im surprised to say the damn least of it
always kinda thought those numbers were utter poppycock at best just some stupid shit i remembered for no apparent reason other than to drive me mad
fancy that i was wrong that dont happen often

whatever enough fuckin babblin who the fuck are you people and what the fuck is this?

video;

[telvanni]

[ The network is being treated to a webcam view of the top of someone's head. A very bald and bearded someone who is scowling down at his keyboard while he stabs at the keys with a single finger. Book enthusiasts with a high tolerance for being snotted at might recognise Nathaniel Mithryn, of Mithryn's Books. Those who don't recognise him should count themselves lucky.

There's a telephone cradled between his face and his shoulder. While it's not possible to make out what's being said on the other end of it, it's clear that it's not pleasing Nathaniel. At all. He keeps looking back and forth between what seems to be a cable bill and the keyboard as he berates the unfortunate person on the other end of the phone. ]

--urgh, wrong number. Why do there have to be so many numbers - are they really necessary? I-- no, you idiot, that was a rhetorical question. Rhetorical. It's a big word, isn't it? Why don't you look that up while I find this ruddy customer service number you're so keen on...

[ He starts poking at his keyboard again. He still hasn't looked up at his monitor. ]

...More trouble than it's worth. All this modernisation malarkey. Interwebs and iBooks - what's the point? It's all a lot of rubbi-- it was another rhetorical question, nitwit. Is it too much to ask for someone with just a spot of intelligence?

[ He pauses to let the poor sap on the other end of the phone speak. Much eyerolling is involved. ]

'Offensive?' Your stupidity offends me, but I'm... hello? Hello?

[ He raises his eyes from the keyboard to stare indignantly at his phone. He's midway through redialling when he takes a glance at his computer screen and performs the most elegantly theatrical double-take the world has ever seen. He scoots closer to the monitor, peers at the network, and -- ]

Good lord. Pop-ups!

[ -- completely fails to comprehend what's going on. ]