savetheearth | video; via smartphone

Hah! Hah! Fuck all of you assholes with your stupid dumb fancypants power shit. Fuck you! Because I have a real superpower now. The best and most useful and cool and impressive one and you are all going to feel sorry for ever thinking my abilities were lame!

[ With a triumphant nyaaahh, Octavia sticks her tongue out at her phone and then turns it towards the TV. It's tuned in to one of those 24-hour live shopping channel broadcasts - a female presenter is currently hawking overpriced fake jewellery to the viewers. ]

"...And this beautiful piece can be yours for only three hundred dollars! But even if you wear this overpriced piece of shit, you won't be as hot as Octavia."

[ While uttering her slightly-suspect words, the presenter has an unsettlingly slack look to her limbs and a completely vacant expression. It's creepy as hell. After she's done speaking she claps her hands over her mouth in surprise, and Octavia turns the phone back towards her own grinning face. ]

Haha! See? I toooooooold youuuuuuuu! I can make anybody do anything I want any time I want to and it is going to be amazing.

[ She may be exaggerating just a teensy bit. (Permissions post is here!) ]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Octavia, you just used your mind control powerth... argh. fucking... POWERS to make an unwitting QVC employee say you're awesome.

That's like... the definition of twitty.

SHOW ME THE LAWS AGAINST THIS.

If the cops are looking for suspicious activity then they will be too busy looking out for ACTUAL WEIRD SHIT ON THE STREETS IN PERSON to be watching the fucking shopping channels oh my god!!!!!!!! XO
WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE EVEN THIS IS AWESOME STOP SPOILGINGN IT I HAET EVWRYTHING

I'm not a lawyer, but this sure does sound like an unreasonable seizure of somebody's free will.

Oh she will NOT. Probably. Most likely. And if she does then she totally must have been doing a bad job BEFORE now! Or her stellar work record would save her. Yeah!

And what makes you think someone in that studio who just saw that isn't related to a cop who's out looking? Or someone watching isn't the wife of one of those cops?

It'd be a lot more awesome if you didn't stick your damned name on it.

Seriously. Code name. Get one. Use it.

Or you got her fired.

[Spoilers: Bertholdt doesn't actually care he's just mad his work got interrupted.]

It's the definition of fucking great is what it is and everybody is just super jealous and that's why you're all trying to ruin it for me. I am onto you and your shit.

You know you're just making me want to see it more, Macaroon.

Please! My hair doesn't even have anything to make out with. Unless you're into that sort of thing. Can people be into that sort of thing?

Oh, no. I wouldn't want you to see it! I mean, you're only what, 13? It's too much for your innocent soul, Taffycakes.

[The most simple of mind control ploys: reverse psychology.

This is what you get Tavia. HE'S JUST DOLING OUT YOUR KARMIC DUE]

Godddddd. If I say "If you do bluh blah bluh I will mind control you" and then they do it, that's signing up! So they totally did.

And I guess they could cluck out my name. That'd be pretty hilarious.

Shit is that an actual law that actually exists.

Isn't that blackmail?

[ That was a jab about subtlety, but she got away with it. Sweet. ]

Like saying "if you do this thing I don't want you to do or you don't do this thing I want you to do, I will make it happen anyway"?

Oh come ONNNN. They will assume that the lady just messed up! They will think she is some kind of lesbian and she has a girlfriend called Octavia and that she was thinking about what a hottie said girlfriend was. Duh!

Codenames are like way cool though so I guess I could go for one too. But not because I'm scared! JUST FOR THE SAKE OF COOL.

Then she is a casualty of war!
An acceptable loss in my pursuit of power and success and awesomeness. Her job will be mourned for eight whole seconds and then we will all move on with our busy lives.

[ SUCH EMPATHY ]

The zombie face kinda kills that idea right good.

Unless lesbians are really really weird.

We should get some sort of superhero gig going on here with secret identities.

I am nearly seventeen, show me the shit or I will make you show me the shit!

[ EASILY MANIPULATED? WHHHAHHWHWWHHHAHAATTTTTTT???? ]

The fourth amendment, yeah. Protects against unreasonable search and seizure. Though who knows, it might not cover mind control seeing as how people don't know it exists. Hey, maybe you'll get to be famous after all!

Well, okay, if you absolutely insist...

[Forwarded Link: mcfreaks dot net or something]

Have fun, Taffy.

If you keep trying to make this less fun for me, I will mind control you into clucking like a chicken.

[ WHERE ARE YOUR TRICKSY WORDS NOW? ]

You're damn right it is. When all the secrecy bullshit is over I will be able to take over the world! I could control the president and make him do anything.

Anything.

Whatever, it's not like they can prove anything! Nobody can. There is no evidence trail here! There is only awesomeness and cool things and me getting away with this forever.

I'm only being reasonable! Also, that's really childish.

[ THEY ARE STILL THERE, TYVM. ]

I thought-- ["you had murder powers" almost leaves her mouth but then she remembers they both agreed to not talk about that. Teresa quickly edits this to:]

I thought you were supposed to have "real" "powers" before this.

[airquotes.gif]

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