[video]

[wirsinddiejager]

[Alan looks terrible, like he hasn't slept for a couple of days. (That would be because he hasn't.) He's still feeling nervous about bringing up the scorpion encounter and potentially having to mention his weird outburst, but he figures the network should know about it. Might as well do it now, when he's too tired to care much.]

Uh, hey. There was this big purple scorpion...thing running around the other night? It stung people and made them laugh like morons for hours.

[He yawns and rubs at his eyes, then takes a sip of coffee.]

Anyway, it was following Octavia and she led it to my house because for some reason she thought I might have a gun and, uh, we killed it. Together. It was a team effort. Go us.

That's pretty much it, just though you guys might want to hear about it.

Comments

text;

[enrages]

there are things that you do that leave me mildly disgruntled.

text;

[drama8om8]

But if I didn't do them then you'd like me less!

text;

[enrages]

no
i might even like you more if you cut that shit out.

text;

[drama8om8]

You want me to be boring and lame and nicey-nicey bluh all the time?
ARE YOU NUTS.

text;

[enrages]

yes and probably yes.

text;

[drama8om8]

Ok realtalk for a second! I want you to think about this very carefully.
If I was nice to you
all the time
then we would never be able to argue with each other again.
I would be too nice and too boring.

text;

[enrages]

sighhhhh
only because i have soulbond leadership, i will answer
siiiiiiiiighhhhh yeah okay if you were too nice and too boring it would be too weird.

text;

[drama8om8]

EXACTLY.
We have now conclusively proved that I am always right about everything forever!

text;

[enrages]

WHAT NO that's not what was implied at ALL.
let's make a list of all the things you suck at and are so wrongy wrong:
1) everything
2) everything else
3) spandex superhero costumes
4) everything