[video]

[wirsinddiejager]

[Alan looks terrible, like he hasn't slept for a couple of days. (That would be because he hasn't.) He's still feeling nervous about bringing up the scorpion encounter and potentially having to mention his weird outburst, but he figures the network should know about it. Might as well do it now, when he's too tired to care much.]

Uh, hey. There was this big purple scorpion...thing running around the other night? It stung people and made them laugh like morons for hours.

[He yawns and rubs at his eyes, then takes a sip of coffee.]

Anyway, it was following Octavia and she led it to my house because for some reason she thought I might have a gun and, uh, we killed it. Together. It was a team effort. Go us.

That's pretty much it, just though you guys might want to hear about it.

Comments

[counterclock]

he probs watches you on the toilet too
all public toilets
you might think you're safe at home
but
good luck finding the camera hidden in your actual bathroom

[enrages]

this is a really uncomfortable conversation.
i'm uncomfortable.
someone help.

[counterclock]

where is your messiah ron paul now
nowhere
he doesn't care about you
or your right to take a shit in peace