one sick, disgusting thought | text

[somesayinfire]

Just in case these numbers actually do something, my name is Brooke Reynolds. I work in one of the funeral homes around here. In Locke City, I mean. I'm the cremator, specifically. I saw something weird when I was taking out the trash earlier. It was a cat, a regular-sized stray cat, but... this is going to sound crazy. It had two thumbs. Human thumbs, on its pads where its regular thumbs should be. (Do cats even have regular thumbs?)

I haven't told my boss about it yet because I actually want to have something to tell him. I don't know if I've been working too many late nights or if the new crematoria we just got are putting out, like, radioactive emissions or what. These numbers seem weird enough. Maybe weird things call to each other, or something like that, and whoever's reading this will know what I'm talking about. Here goes, on the off chance that I'm not typing into the abyss.

Comments

[drama8om8]

Take your bullshit hummingbird metaphors and shove them!
(I say this genially and in a friendly and borderline playful manner. Because cool! And unflappable. See?)
But anyway, I ain't known her all that long. Just since she's been here? But yeah wow has she ever been The Uberdouche since then. I am pretty sure that she was abandoned by her parents as a baby and was raised by rats and bugs and poop!
It would account for the unfortunate personality deficiencies. And delusions of being unrepellant and not-fat and un-dumb. Also the fashion sense.

[somesayinfire]

So I take it you've met her in person. Or at least seen her. I don't think she's dumb, per se. I think she thinks she needs to pretend to be smarter than she actually is. I ran into people like that a lot at school. I was friends with a few of them, actually, and their parents were some of the most overbearing people I've ever met. I'm no child psychologist, but I wouldn't be surprised if she gets coddled too much by her parents instead.

If she's got bad fashion sense, though, that's all on her. ;)

[drama8om8]

I got her to appear on video by cleverly pretending that I was dumb enough to think she was an ancient neckbearded guy. I can be incredibly cunning like that! Cunning like a fox that is often stared at enviously by other foxes, who whisper "man do I ever wish I was as cunning as her" under their breaths.
I guess I can demonstrate her debilitatingly terrible fashion sense for you. I mean it wouldn't be TOO much trouble. http://tinyurl.com/lolitafromhell


(I forgot to add the cankles but everything else is absolutely the most legit.)

[somesayinfire]

Oh yeah, I can tell this is a completely unbiased depiction of her, drawn by a foxlike person who has nothing against her at all.

What's "kawaii"?

[drama8om8]

...How can ANYBODY not know what kawaii is, wow.
THIS is kawaii. The most kawaiiest there ever was. (TW: Uguus.)

[somesayinfire]

Somebody drew that, said "yeah, that's how eyes work", and put it online. I guess "kawaii" means "the most horrifying thing I've seen today"?