savetheearth | Adventure 02

[So, ever since he's found the network, Arthur has been so excited at finding a bunch of new people to talk to. And he's been trying quite hard to talk with everyone! Over the past few days, he's left a series of messages on the network of varying levels of unimportance. Indulge him? Tell him to quit spamming with this mess? Pick your poison; just specify which message you're replying to!]

[Text and Picture, Backdated to Saturday, May 25]

HOW HARD DO YOU THINK IT WOULD BE TO ADOPT ONE OF THESE

IT WOULD BE GREAT WE COULD HAVE SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER

[Video, Backdated to Sunday, May 26]

[So it's late at night, but look, there's Arthur making another video transmission. He's pointing it at the TV, which is playing a commercial for some spray-can sealant that seals stuff so well, it can even make a functional raft out of a screen door.]

Do you think that stuff actually WORKS?

[Video, Backdated to Monday, May 27]

[The video feed opens, and once again, Arthur is sitting there with Slippy, his goldfish.]

Look! Slippy's learned a new trick! Slippy! What's four plus four?

[The fish will swim around in a quick figure 8. It can't really do math; it just knows that when Arthur asks it what four plus four is, it is to swim around in this pattern.]

OUTRAGEOUS, isn't it?

[Doodle on a Paper Bag, Backdated to Tuesday, May 28]

[Arthur's stuck in traffic, so what better way to pass the time than to doodle on a paper bag? He's made a goofy cartoony drawing of a smiling fish with a speech bubble proudly proclaiming "HELLO!" to everyone.]

[Forwarded Email, Backdated to Wednesday, May 29]

[Arthur has decided to brighten everyone's day, so he has forwarded an email to the entire network! It's quite obviously a forwarded email and not something Arthur has written himself (attached is a list of email addresses of every poor person who was ever sent this thing, and it's probably been making the rounds since 2003 or so), but it's still bad enough.]

just remember that you are important

S~M~I~L~E

*~*~*~*~*~*~*tomorrow is going to be a great day*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[The message runs on a lot longer in a similar fashion all "inspirational"-like and in "whimsical" purple Comic Sans. He really shouldn't pass on any more emails Granny Curry sends him...]

[Video, Thursday, May 30"]

[Arthur's cheerfully waving at the camera before starting to speak.]

So, I got thrown out of the grocery store today! Can you BELIEVE that? All I was trying to do was to have a nice conversation with the lobsters, and they threw me out, just like that! I was even trying to be quiet about it, too...!

[And now he's holding up a live lobster.]

At least they still let me take Charlene here home!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Why do you keep saying stuff with so much vefessh?

[The voice on the other end sounds disgusted. Also, he can't read, so he's only going off of the pictures and stuff Arthur is saying. Plus, that last word doesn't come out in any language Arthur can understand. Sorry, man.]

Stuff with so much what?

I'm sorry, friend, could you say that again?

Vefessh-- V-- water. Water. Okay? That's a lot of water and it's kind of creepy.

[Hey, he's a cat. He's allowed to be uncomfortable with the thought of a lot of water.]

But the water's where all the fish live! I have to talk about the places my friends live!

Talk about them all you want, just stop showing pictures. It's making me queasy. I don't like water.

Maybe you just haven't had the right experiences with water!

[Arthur. Arthur, no.]

[Gomez makes a frustrated feline noise on the other end of the connection. Somewhere between a hiss and a spit.]

I do not need any experiences with vefessh to know I don't like it! It'd get my fur all wet and it'd drag me down and and and I don't like it, okay??

[He's gonna work himself up into a panic there, if Arthur isn't careful.]

Easy there, easy! It's nothing to be afraid of!

[But he'll dial back, because even he's picked up on that agitation and he doesn't want to make the little guy feel bad.]

You don't even like watching the fish?

[Gomez sounds a little embarrassed, and still pretty sour, when he replies:]

When they're going to be dinner, maybe.

[He might give a human a harder time about eating fish, but he'll let a cat slide. Silly cat.]

You wouldn't want to watch just to watch?

Why? That's boring.

[He may be a cat, but he's also a teenager. Sort of. If he were a human boy, he'd be about twelve or thirteen, after all.]

But it's relaxing!

[There's a pause.]

...then again, I guess a cat wouldn't need any help relaxing, would you?

[They're the sleeping champions of the animal world!]

Sometimes, maybe. But I have my ehhif for that. Or the other People here. Purring at each other is a lot more relaxing than looking at food you can't eat.

What's an ehhif?

[That was probably pronounced with a horrendous accent, but he's genuinely curious.]

Ehhif. Uh. A two-footer. A-- a human. Like you. I have one who's mine.

[He won't say "owner" because ew, he's not owned. And he won't say "master" because he's not a dog. But he'll definitely call Alex "his".]

You know. The one carrying me before. When we met the... the long-faced one. Cindy.

Aha, so that's what you call your human! Like me and Slippy! I know just who you mean! There's nothing quite like that bond, is there?

[He can understand not wanting to bring the word "ownership" into this; he and Slippy are buds!]

[Gomez is a little hesitant to agree to being similar to anything without knowing more about it.]

I don't know. Who's Slippy?

Why, he's my goldfish, of course!

Why 'of course'? I couldn't have known that.

[Gomez sounds a little sour, there. But then, y'know, adolescent male.]

I don't think it's really the same. I'm a lot smarter than a goldfish.

Welllllll...he can't speak English like you can! I'm the only one who can understand him!

[Arthur tried working with Slippy on that. Didn't go so well.]

And yeah, his interests are a little limited, but he's still a good little buddy!

Yeah. I'll take your word for that, I guess.

[This conversation is making Gomez's ears tired.]

Just. You know. Be careful with the pictures of v-- of water, okay?

Don't worry, little guy, I'll watch out for that.

[There's a chuckle because the kitty hating water is so gosh darn cute.]

... thanks.

[He's not sure he believes the guy, but he'll let it go. This time. He taps the iPad screen, and the connection severs.]

Adventure 02 | Various

[Audio] | May 30

[Video, just so he can continue showing off that lobster]

[Audio since Gomez is not showing his face on the network much XD ]

[Video, but awwww, Arthur likes seeing cute animals]

[Audio since Gomez knows this and has no desire to comply XD ]

[Video, how typical for a cat XD]

[Audio, because yes, Gomez is quite catlike... >: 3 ]

[Video, but awww, kitty]

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