savetheearth | 001 ✮ text

[ The whole thing was completely unbelievable, there was no doubt about that. Who would've thought that typing random numbers into your phone after a search for cough syrup would turn up an untraceable network filled with what looked like bunch of crazy people? At least, calling them "crazy" seemed like the most likely conclusion. It occurs to him that he really should be doing his job, but sheer curiosity kept him looking through the posts.

Besides, it could all be related to his assignment. Somehow (okay, that was maybe reaching just a little, but what exactly can a guy do?). So, he begins to type on his phone, not quite sure what sort of person will turn up. ]

So let me guess: This is all an elaborate viral advertising campaign for cough syrup, right?

[ Well crap. Sarcasm doesn't quite translate that well through text, now does it? Still, it seemed like the better option than broadcasting either his face or voice, where (to the right person) he might as well just say "FBI agent here! Ask me about my entire life". ]

Unless any of you have a better explanation. Because from where I'm sitting, cough syrup advertising still looks a lot more likely than "aliens" and "robots".

[ Still, as they always say, sometimes "the truth is stranger than fiction". ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

nope we're totally at war with aliens and shit

turns out those aliens are trying to take over the world by lacing the world's cough syrup supply with

herpes or something

okay that part might not be true but the aliens totally are

[ You know, a network that connects via paper is strange enough.

But the aliens definitely can't be real. ]

Do you think the cough syrup companies are in with the aliens?

[ At first, he thought he had a clear grasp on the situation, but he really has no idea what's actually going on anymore. ]

You know what, they very well could be. They've already got the police force by the balls.

[you know what neither does this asshole but it's all good]

[ at the mention of "police", the sarcastic tone in his texts drop just a little. ]

The aliens control the police.

[ It's a question. It's a statement. It's...

None of it is true. But still, it concerns him on a different level. If there was corruption in the police force, surely the Bureau would know something about it? ]

look i know you're new to this whole insane bullshit thing but when I say LITERAL ALIENS FROM OUTER FUCKING SPACE are pulling the strings around here

i actually mean it and i'm not insane

promise

[ You know.

He's really not quite sure what to believe anymore. ]

I don't suppose you have proof of these "aliens", do you?

[ Because let's face it. Even if aliens do exist, they're probably a) tousands of light years away and b) not advanced enough to travel to Earth. ]

well not on me, i'm at work. but there is one hanging out at a farmhouse just outside town

An alien. In a farmhouse.

I'm guessing he wanted the optimal location to steal cattle?

[ No seriously. What the hell is going on? ]

You never know man aliens do what they want. Maybe they wanna pump the cattle full of shit and taint the Earth's food supply.

i mean maybe one of our cop guys could tell you better

[ ...And at this point, he has decided that there's no point in being overly secret because he's either hallucinating all of this, or it's so completely insane, no one would fully believe what's going on. ]

I am a "cop guy" myself.

well then you should have a pretty easy time digging up evidence yourself then, huh.

To be perfectly honest, I still haven't decided whether or not this is some really messed up dream.

Ah, the denial stage. Don't worry, it won't last.

So I've been told.

It still doesn't change the fact that nothing here makes sense, however.

No you're absolutely right, this whole thing is total battynuggets. I still have days where I wake up and pretend this is all some crazy vicodin induced hallucination.

Wow. That's the most comforting thing I've heard all day.

[ Only... clearly not. ]

being comforting isn't really one of my strong points.

Thanks for mentioning it.

I think I might've gathered that.

most people seem to be dealing with this pretty well. If a bunch of dumb teenagers can, you'll probably be fine too. good luck and stuff.

Great. Thanks.

[ ...he thinks. ]

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