savetheearth | Video | Nu har du ett finger kvar, och det pekar bort

[Hello network, have a rather tired and bedraggled-looking Fenn with a blanket around his shoulders, clearly shirtless underneath, a cup of tea curled in one hand.]

You know what can really put a crimp in your sex life?

[Yes, that is definitely a valid question to ask the network early in the morning. The kids can just... not listen, okay.]

Any takers? I mean, apart from these- [He effortlessly extends his foot-long claws and then retracts them again] -which I think can cut through metal and really were a problem for a while there?

I'm pretty sure none of you's gonna be able to guess, seeing as it's pretty specific, so I'll go ahead and tell you, how about that? And no, it ain't personal or dirty as such, just gross as shit.

[A pause, and he grimaces, one hand darting up to massage his left eye.]

It's when your lover kisses your eye in a kind of romantic gesture - bless his heart - and you end up with this... really damn vivid memory of having it gouged out and eaten. Like, the feeling of having your eye still partly attached and chewed loose? [A shudder.] Seriously, I ain't sure how much more messed-up shit I can take "remembering", or whatever it is we do.

[A loose shrug, teacup wobbling a bit.] Sorry to put y'all off your breakfasts, I just wanted to whine a bit. Carry on, I guess.

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[There is a moment in which Kotetsu is legitimately torn between horror at this being discussed publicly where children can see it, and horror at...everything else about this.

That moment is filled with silence and an expression that's actually sort of priceless.]

...Ew.

[THAT'S ALL HE'S GOT.]

You telling me? I just about hurled, which let me tell you, ain't usually what I do for foreplay. [Nope, he has no shame. None.] Poor Youou almost had a fit.

[sldkfakjdfs]

Oi! We don't need to know about that stuff!!! The kinda crap you get up to in the bedroom should stay there!

[N....o, he does not at all realize how unfortunate his word choice is there, and yes, he will very possibly burst a blood vessel in his face when you tell him. ~~Have some consideration for the elderly, Fay!~~]

[If Fay's eyes narrow a bit, if his tone turns rather catty, it's... well, it's because he's heard things like that said before in a much more homophobic context, and he's a bit sensitive. He doesn't quite realize that Kotetsu would be like that with just about anyone, so to him it sounds a lot like him being upset about TEH GAY.]

Firstly, crap ain't got a thing to do with what I do in the bedroom either, so don't be disgusting. Secondly, saying I don't normally puke on my lovers - or hinting at the fact that foreplay is usually involved - ain't the same as giving you all the details. And thirdly, it's just sex. I'm sure you've had it too, so there's no call for acting like that.

[Excuse him a moment. At that first remark, the color promptly drains out of his face, and his mouth opens and closes a bit like a goldfish that's been taken out of its tank. Most of the rest goes unheard for the moment.]

Cr--Th..at's. [Choke] That's...a thing?

[OH GOD HE NEVER NEEDED OR WANTED THAT MENTAL IMAGE IN HIS LIFE KILL HIM NOW.

]

Edited 2013-08-12 21:51 (UTC)

[Look at this absolutely evil little grin.]

Oh yes, sir. I mean, I ain't into it personally of course, sounds pretty messy, right? But as long as you're two consenting adults, it ain't like someone is getting hurt or anything, right?

[And for all that he's laying it on thick to mess with Kotetsu, it's true that he doesn't really feel he can judge, especially with how intimate the blood-drinking feels sometimes.]

Your world's just opening in all kinds of new ways, huh?

[On the other hand, Kotetsu looks a bit like he's going to be sick. But to his credit, he does manage to nod at the comment about consenting adults.]

Y-yeah...true.

[STILL LOOKING A BIT LIKE HE'LL PUKE THOUGH.]

...Still doesn't mean anyone needs to hear about it, though.

[Fay just raises his eyebrows a bit at that, shrugging languidly.]

Hey, look, you asked. I mean, admittedly I made the joke in the first place, but the next time you might not refer to my relationship - even the sexual side of it - as crap, because that comes off as a bit insulting, right? And then I promise I won't tell you about all the other lovely fetishes that people have a tendency of thinking up~.

[And behold, the moment in which Kotetsu looks really confused.]

I never said anything about your relation--

[aaaaand here comes the dawning realization. As clueless as he can be sometimes, he's a pretty perceptive person too. It's almost comedic, how his expression shifts into something more awkward and uncomfortable and somewhat apologetic.]

Oh. I don't--have a problem with that.

[He looks off to the side, one hand rubbing at the back of his neck.]

...Look, okay, I overreacted, I'm sorry, but it's just. The way I grew up, that kinda thing--er, sex, not being gay--is something private, between you and the person you're with. That's all.

[Fay just... blinks those big blue eyes for a long while there, completely dumbfounded, as Kotetsu's words sink in. Then he starts chewing on his lower lip, looking rather awkward as well, and more than a bit apologetic.]

Okay, you know what? You're right, that was uncalled for. Looks like I was the one being prejudiced, not the other way around, right? [He laughs, not terribly uncomfortable with admitting that he's wrong. There are worse things in the world than being wrong.]

It's just... you know, the way I was brought up, and later too, I got to hear a lot of things like... you know... [He makes his voice a bit darker, like he's imitating someone.] "It's all very well, I don't care what that sort of people do to each other, but I sure as hell don't wanna hear about it either! It just ain't right." So I'm a teee~eeensy bit prickly when it comes to that. Sorry 'bout jumping all down your throat.

Aa, don't worry about it.

[He flaps a hand at Fay, as if to emphasize that no harm was done.]

I mean, it makes sense you'd be worried about it, and all.

[Kotetsu doesn't really follow politics extensively, and let's be real, probably doesn't even know words like 'queer', but he'd have to be blind and deaf to not know about the issue in general.]

Don't get why people make such a big deal about that stuff, really...not like it's any of their business who other people love.

[...because yeah, he is exactly that old-fashioned. Oops.]

Video | Nu har du ett finger kvar, och det pekar bort

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/sets him up for hideousness

You should be ashamed

only a little

Lies.

nope

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