savetheearth | [computer: text/webcam photo] the minor jpegification is what makes it webcam quality!

Be at 2315 Nichol Street in half an hour. If you have trouble finding the house, it's the one that's got a bunch of weird construction stuff sticking out of it.

got it.
please don't turn out to be a serial murderer.

I swear I'm not. I'll see you then.

[With that message sent, Danny raids his closet for the first sweater he can find, which ends up being uncannily similar to this one. It should be enough to cover him until he can get this guy strapped into the ride and let his parents take it from there.

Now, he waits.]

[ This is so dumb why does everything Karson do in life turn out to be the dumbest shit he's ever done how does he make so many poor life choices oh god what if he gets murdered and they never find out who did it because of the secret network and his life ends up as an episode of Cold Case, and during the last five minutes everyone stares at each other meaningfully and honestly his dad probably won't give a fuck but maybe he'll shell out the cash for a funeral?? maybe??????

With all the hesitation imaginable, he knocks on the door to the sketchiest house ever conceived. ]

[Danny's dad, essentially a 6'5" enormous brick wall of man holding a wrench, answers the door.

"Hello?"

He looks mildly confused.]

[ Karson takes a quick shuffle-step backwards and then another. And one more for good measure. ]

Uh, I'm, uh... Looking for your kid? So. ...Yeah.

[A series of dull thumping noises can be heard as Danny races down the staircase and darts towards the door, butting into view in front of his dad wearing his itch basketball dog sweater.]

Uh--th-that's a friend of mine, dad! Yeah! He, uh--he wanted to come by and help test the new rollercoaster today, so I invited him over!

[His dad's face immediately lights up and he steps to the side, opening the path into the house. "Well why didn't you mention it earlier? Come on in, we'll get you set right up, uh...Danny, what's your friend's name?"

Danny looks over to Karson like a deer in the headlights, realizing he doesn't actually know this guy's name.]

Uhhhh....

Uhhh.... [ oh wait that was a prompting. sorry, a bit too distracted by that atrocious sweater. Is that the type of sweater a serial murderer would wear? Yup. ]

Karson. Valenti. Karson Valenti, sir. [ Karson makes a quick glance behind him, wondering if any witnesses will see his final moments. Will this be the last time he'll ever see the sunlight? Yup.

Regardless, he steps inside, regretting every life decision he's ever made. ]

Edited 2013-07-27 06:27 (UTC)

[The inside of the Fenton home would look fairly normal, if not for the rollercoaster tracks winding their way all around the house. They cover the floor, they go up the walls, they wind up the staircase and corkscrew through the hallways. As a result, the otherwise ordinary home ends up looking chaotic and cramped.

As Karson enters the building and steps into the living room, he'll notice that on the piece of track just near him is a single car, complete with safety bar and seatbelts. And just in case, there's a helmet wrapped in several layers of tin foil for him too--this is an untested prototype, after all. (And it's generally good to take precautions against any government brain-tapping.)

Danny's dad shuts the door behind him and runs over to the car gleefully. "Well Karson, this is what you've been waiting for! Climb on in!"

His mom enters the room with a hard hat on and a first aid kit in hand. "And don't worry about these, dear, it's all just a precaution! No one's ever gotten seriously injured on any of our rides."

Her husband drapes an arm around her. "Yeah, and we've got a good feeling about this one!"

Danny, for his part in all this, stands there grinning nervously at the entire scene, hoping Karson isn't too freaked out by his parents. And if he is...well, he can offer some silent moral support, right?]

Edited (i forgot THE MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT OF ALL) 2013-07-30 21:21 (UTC)

[ Karson is going to need literally all the silent moral support he can get, because he is literally shaking in his boots right now. The tin foil is to cook his brain before he dies, so that if he survives in inevitable stabbing that will occur soon, he'll be too brain dead to testify in court. The first aid kit is full of cyanide pills, and the track everywhere is in place to cart his body to their underground crematorium. He pulls at his phone while they talk and sends a quick message to Kanti-- "im going to die if you dont hear from me tonight check the crazy rollercoaster family."

That message also counts as his last will and testament. ]

Alright, I'm ready. [ He says with all the intensity of a criminal stepping onto the gallows. ]

Let's do this shit. [ If he dies, his dad gets life insurance, right? ]

Let's go. [ He grabs the helmet first, shoves it on his head, and sits. Karson gives Danny the most fatalistic glance in all of history. ]

[Danny gives him the biggest grin--mostly forced, to try and give the impression that everything is okay but more likely giving the impression that he's a gleeful axe murderer--and gives him two silent thumbs up as his parents get ready for launch.

Once Karson is buckled in and the lapbar securely set in front of him, all the Fentons step a safe distance away from the track. Danny's dad walks over to a large lever installed in the floor, makes sure he has a good grasp on it...

and then yanks it down with all the force in his body, excitedly shouting "BANZAI!!!"

I hope you're ready for a tour of the Fenton household, because this thing goes into just about every room of the house big enough to allow for it.

The cart lurches forward at a brisk pace and turns into the kitchen, where it slows down for a few merciful seconds before it goes downhill through the door to the basement. From there, it speeds up and there is little mercy. Between all the loops, corkscrews, and horseshoe turns, the only moments when there's time to breathe are when the cart is being gently tugged up to the second floor of the house for the next segment of the ride and when the ride finally ends.

Danny goes into the kitchen once it's safe and fetches a paper bag, just in case.]

[ karson
screams
the
entire
fucking
way.

Non-stop screaming. There might even be a bit of a question as to how the fuck his lungs can hold that much air, and if you asked a world-famous scientist, s/he'd probably tell you to shut the fuck up. If you asked Karson when he wasn't screaming, he'd claim his lungs have expanded to the size of miniature universal macrocosms due to all the bitching he does on a daily basis.

But now's not the time to ask him, because as soon as the ride is over, he is tearing himself out of the contraption, throwing his helmet at Danny's father, and collapsing on the floor. ]

[Danny's dad doesn't expect it, but still manages to catch the helmet and tucks it under his arm like a football. He has a huge grin on his face, bouncing in place like a five year old on a sugar high. "So, what did you think?! What were your favorite parts?"

Meanwhile, both Danny and his mom rush to Karson's side. She is on standby with the first aid kit at the ready. Danny stands there dumbfounded for a few moments, not entirely sure what to do, but then crouches down and holds the paper bag out to him.]

Uhh...a-are you okay?

I have paid the iron price. [ He says while giving Danny a look that only a demon long dead with nothing else to live for can make.

He then grabs the bag and proceeds to barf out his lunch. A lunch that cost 5.23$. You now owe Karson 5 dollars and 23 cents. ]

[$5.23?! It's got to be more than that. Danny is pretty sure Karson is possessed by a demonic spirit right now. He didn't think his parents' coasters could do that, but Danny is pretty sure the look Karson gave him melted his bones and the vomiting now is just part of the demon purging process.

$5.23 he could pay, but he is not sure he is ready to pay the price of getting somebody possessed.]

Uhhh...

[He runs into the kitchen and fills a glass with bottled water (the sink is now considered contaminated) and runs back to the living room, holding it out for Karson whenever he's done puking.]

Thanks for doing that...I-I really appreciate it. And--and so do my parents! See?

[Muffled "COME ON WAS THAT RIDE GREAT OR WHAT" Danny's dad talking in the distance.]

[ He grabs that water and chugs it. If chugging water was an Olympic sport, he would win the gold in the Beijing Olympics. The Chinese would promptly kick him out and then demand tests for waterdrinking steroids. They would find none, because he is a natural born pro. ]

Ugh, ugh. Did you, at least...[ hold on, deep breaths, then whispered: ] Keep the you-know-what hidden?

[Danny freezes, unsure what he's referring to at first, but he quickly catches on and nods.]

Okay. [ huff puff. His sacrifice was not in vain. ]

...Can I get the fuck out now? Before your crazyass parents get anymore crazyass ideas, and I go home in a body bag.

[Karson is lucky that by this point his parents figured Danny had the situation under control and have gone into the kitchen to make tweaks to the ride's blueprints.]

Uh--yeah, sure. Do you--do you need any help or anything?

[ Karson doesn't even fucking answer. He sprints for the door, absconding straight out the fuck to freedom. SEE YA SUCKERSSSS ]

[Danny stands there and watches the front door slam shut and hopes--well, mainly that Karson is okay, but also that he doesn't start any rumors about his parents being amusement park themed serial killers.

Only time will tell now whether or not a reality TV show will be made about them.]

[computer: text/webcam photo] the minor jpegification is what makes it webcam quality!

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