savetheearth | [computer: text/webcam photo] the minor jpegification is what makes it webcam quality!

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[computer: text/webcam photo] the minor jpegification is what makes it webcam quality!

There's that clinic we can go to if something really weird happens to us, right? Can somebody drive me there? Because I'm kind of having a problem.

I got my arm stuck in this napkin and now I can't get it out and I don't know what to do

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[Danny gives him the biggest grin--mostly forced, to try and give the impression that everything is okay but more likely giving the impression that he's a gleeful axe murderer--and gives him two silent thumbs up as his parents get ready for launch.

Once Karson is buckled in and the lapbar securely set in front of him, all the Fentons step a safe distance away from the track. Danny's dad walks over to a large lever installed in the floor, makes sure he has a good grasp on it...

and then yanks it down with all the force in his body, excitedly shouting "BANZAI!!!"

I hope you're ready for a tour of the Fenton household, because this thing goes into just about every room of the house big enough to allow for it.

The cart lurches forward at a brisk pace and turns into the kitchen, where it slows down for a few merciful seconds before it goes downhill through the door to the basement. From there, it speeds up and there is little mercy. Between all the loops, corkscrews, and horseshoe turns, the only moments when there's time to breathe are when the cart is being gently tugged up to the second floor of the house for the next segment of the ride and when the ride finally ends.

Danny goes into the kitchen once it's safe and fetches a paper bag, just in case.]

[ karson
screams
the
entire
fucking
way.

Non-stop screaming. There might even be a bit of a question as to how the fuck his lungs can hold that much air, and if you asked a world-famous scientist, s/he'd probably tell you to shut the fuck up. If you asked Karson when he wasn't screaming, he'd claim his lungs have expanded to the size of miniature universal macrocosms due to all the bitching he does on a daily basis.

But now's not the time to ask him, because as soon as the ride is over, he is tearing himself out of the contraption, throwing his helmet at Danny's father, and collapsing on the floor. ]

[Danny's dad doesn't expect it, but still manages to catch the helmet and tucks it under his arm like a football. He has a huge grin on his face, bouncing in place like a five year old on a sugar high. "So, what did you think?! What were your favorite parts?"

Meanwhile, both Danny and his mom rush to Karson's side. She is on standby with the first aid kit at the ready. Danny stands there dumbfounded for a few moments, not entirely sure what to do, but then crouches down and holds the paper bag out to him.]

Uhh...a-are you okay?

I have paid the iron price. [ He says while giving Danny a look that only a demon long dead with nothing else to live for can make.

He then grabs the bag and proceeds to barf out his lunch. A lunch that cost 5.23$. You now owe Karson 5 dollars and 23 cents. ]

[$5.23?! It's got to be more than that. Danny is pretty sure Karson is possessed by a demonic spirit right now. He didn't think his parents' coasters could do that, but Danny is pretty sure the look Karson gave him melted his bones and the vomiting now is just part of the demon purging process.

$5.23 he could pay, but he is not sure he is ready to pay the price of getting somebody possessed.]

Uhhh...

[He runs into the kitchen and fills a glass with bottled water (the sink is now considered contaminated) and runs back to the living room, holding it out for Karson whenever he's done puking.]

Thanks for doing that...I-I really appreciate it. And--and so do my parents! See?

[Muffled "COME ON WAS THAT RIDE GREAT OR WHAT" Danny's dad talking in the distance.]

[ He grabs that water and chugs it. If chugging water was an Olympic sport, he would win the gold in the Beijing Olympics. The Chinese would promptly kick him out and then demand tests for waterdrinking steroids. They would find none, because he is a natural born pro. ]

Ugh, ugh. Did you, at least...[ hold on, deep breaths, then whispered: ] Keep the you-know-what hidden?

[Danny freezes, unsure what he's referring to at first, but he quickly catches on and nods.]

Okay. [ huff puff. His sacrifice was not in vain. ]

...Can I get the fuck out now? Before your crazyass parents get anymore crazyass ideas, and I go home in a body bag.

[Karson is lucky that by this point his parents figured Danny had the situation under control and have gone into the kitchen to make tweaks to the ride's blueprints.]

Uh--yeah, sure. Do you--do you need any help or anything?

[ Karson doesn't even fucking answer. He sprints for the door, absconding straight out the fuck to freedom. SEE YA SUCKERSSSS ]

[Danny stands there and watches the front door slam shut and hopes--well, mainly that Karson is okay, but also that he doesn't start any rumors about his parents being amusement park themed serial killers.

Only time will tell now whether or not a reality TV show will be made about them.]

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[computer: text/webcam photo] the minor jpegification is what makes it webcam quality!

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