i like dubstep

[enrages]

Who: Karson and Jack Valenti
What: Life's hard when you're a disgruntled teen who has recently discovered a secret numbers network, and your father isn't going to put up with that shit. Especially when you've been dragging the car into all your misadventures.
Where: the Valenti household.
When: June 15th, late late late at night.



Today, Karson had probably participated in the most important thing of his miserable, short life. Today, he became a supporting character and quite possibly a man. No, that's a lie; he cried too much to be considered a man. He was only a pseudo-man. The type of man who makes a Harlem Shake video with his whole office about two months after the fad had died before going home to drink away his woes with a bottle of 3$ wine. He doesn't even bother taking the wine out of the brown paper bag it came in. That's how despair inducing his performance was.

So he does the only thing a pseudo-man can do: he tries to sneak back into his house at half past dumb o'clock in the morning, after trying to help as many people with the mine situation as he could. Since I'm not psychic and I don't actually give a shit about timeline accuracy, I have no idea what happens with the whole mine thing, and that's okay. Honestly, all I want to do with my life is tag with Lavvy, and that's what I'm going to do.

Comments

[idiotwagon]

Jack slaps a merciful hand over the kid's mouth.

"Okay, fine, have it your way."

With that said, he hauls Karson by the arm to his room (dragging, if he has to), shoves him inside, and slams the door shut. The window is already nailed down like the last one, but with about eight hundred more nails than should be necessary. Don't make him go out and board it up from the outside, too.

He then pushes a goddamn bookshelf in front of the door.

"GROUNDED FOR LIFE."

[enrages]

The only way to properly express Karson's woe is through MS Paint, comic sans:

[idiotwagon]

[enrages]

[idiotwagon]

[enrages]

no

[enrages]

you

[enrages]

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[enrages]

KARSON SPENDS THE NIGHT CRYING LIKE BABS ALONE IN HIS ROOM. HE HAS BEEN SEPARATED FROM HIS INSEPARABLE DOG AND LIFE IS HARD. NOT GOING TO SCHOOL THE NEXT FEW DAYS BECAUSE FUCK YOU DAD.

[idiotwagon]

Jack has earplugs. This is, by far, not the first time he's had to deal with Karson screaming and crying in his room for dumb reasons.

And he is going to school the next few days because Jack is driving him to school personally every single goddamn day and revoking his keys and phone and literally everything he owns and holds dear. YES, YOU ARE EVEN GROUNDED FROM CRAB. LOOK AT HOW YOU'RE FORCING CRAB TO SUFFER WITH YOUR NEGLIGENCE. This is what happens when you cross the wrong dad (which is to say your only dad, since you are not fucking adopted don't even start with me young man).

[enrages]

at some point karson will slip an artist rendition of how adopted he actually is under his door

enjoy, "FATHER"