espigeonage: (༄From falling into depression again)
Yuuya Sakazaki ([personal profile] espigeonage) wrote in [community profile] savetheearth 2015-03-09 03:59 pm (UTC)

At last Julien shifts on his feet, taking a couple of steps. He's so painfully aware, here, of how he's forced to move his legs, crouched and wide, almost waddling. The center of his gravity is around his knees instead of having much to do with his hips. Ponderously he swings the keel of his chest through a turn.

And mushes the crown of his head against the back of Aaron's coat, between the shoulderblades, pressing hard enough to splay out his feathers, to feel through the layers. "I," he says, and stops, breathing slowly.

He hadn't meant to hurt Aaron. -well, yes. He had. Julien was so, so endlessly good at picking himself up and dusting himself off and carrying on like everything was fine. People expected it. Give him time and he was always okay, like it came automatically and had no cost, like backsliding was never an issue. They all hung above him, uncomprehending. He wanted...

So, okay, he had meant to hurt Aaron. But having done it didn't make him feel any better. Julien presses against him with the crown of his head, and his operculum, and the point of his beak. "You need to hug me," he says.

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