No. This is too much, and more than he can handle. Cesar reminds himself that this is Lazarus, the man who was tortured by Albero and saw Moises' head blow out in messy chunks for a death that could've been prevented. It was Cesar's fault, and if Lazarus ever finds out the truth, he'll not just use everything against him, but torture him in all new sorts of ways, too.
The blush fades like water thrown on coals, and the warm feeling in his gut is replaced by sinking lead. Even the hysterical bit of hilarity he was seeing in all of this has cooled. Cesar turns and crawls out from behind the bushes, and when he straightens, he just happens to not be facing him. His hands go in his pockets. Then he turns, without shame.
The change is dizzying, and part of him wants to laugh a little, wondering if that wasn't an overreaction. The cold and sober part of him's reply is no, it wasn't. They can be acquaintances, and perhaps even superficial friends, but anything closer than that would cascade into one huge mistake. Cesar knows his own nightmares won't stay at bay forever, and that sooner or later L will actually learn to figure out when Cesar is hiding something in person. It wouldn't take much; he's a quick study, and Cesar refuses to underestimate him.
He tilts his head towards the driveway, and starts walking. He feels bizarrely hurt by his own actions, but all it does is exhaust him. Now they can at least be ordinary friends, with as normal an interaction as they ever have.
2/2
The blush fades like water thrown on coals, and the warm feeling in his gut is replaced by sinking lead. Even the hysterical bit of hilarity he was seeing in all of this has cooled. Cesar turns and crawls out from behind the bushes, and when he straightens, he just happens to not be facing him. His hands go in his pockets. Then he turns, without shame.
The change is dizzying, and part of him wants to laugh a little, wondering if that wasn't an overreaction. The cold and sober part of him's reply is no, it wasn't. They can be acquaintances, and perhaps even superficial friends, but anything closer than that would cascade into one huge mistake. Cesar knows his own nightmares won't stay at bay forever, and that sooner or later L will actually learn to figure out when Cesar is hiding something in person. It wouldn't take much; he's a quick study, and Cesar refuses to underestimate him.
He tilts his head towards the driveway, and starts walking. He feels bizarrely hurt by his own actions, but all it does is exhaust him. Now they can at least be ordinary friends, with as normal an interaction as they ever have.