[closed]

[waltharius]

Who: Walter and Octavia
What: FRIEND DATE because OCTAVIA'S HOME
When: TODAY
Where: Octavia's bigass house

[ When Octavia came back from her impromptu trip to Hawaii (???), Walter didn't even bother to contain his excitement. As soon as possible, he was at her door. And as soon as she answered it, she practically got swept off her feet in an overly enthusiastic (and probably crushing) hug.

After a lot of smiling, laughing, puns/terrible jokes, and questions about Hawaii -- he kind of wishes he could have gone -- they settle in the basement for some good old fashioned violent video gaming. It's still just about the best stress relief on the planet.

Something's a bit... off about his playing today, though. Maybe he's just a little rusty? He keeps crashing and dying in incredibly stupid ways. ]

Comments

[drama8om8]

[ Octavia is, naturally, yammering on and on about trivial bullshit as Walter fails at the vidya. Oh em gee, Wally, she can hula dance now. And hey look how great her tan is. Aren't her toenails pretty? She painted them all different colours one day while Alan yelled at his dad for an hour straight. Bee tee dubya, do you know surfing is harder than it looks?

As such, it takes a particularly spectacular fuckup for her to actually pause her babble to address the fact that holy shit Wally sucks at GTA today. Several car flips and a chain explosion are involved. THERE ARE NO SURVIVORS. ]

Whoa. You. Can see the screen, right? When did you last get your eyes tested? Do I have to drag you kicking and screaming and fussing to an eye doctor, who will look at my freaky no-eye all disapprovingly and junk and make me look bad? Is that what this is?

[ IS IT???????? ]

[waltharius]

Um.

[ That's pretty much his only reaction to the carnage he just caused. In a way, it's kind of an achievement to screw up that badly.

Octavia seems to be asking about him instead of talking about herself now. He blinks and tears his gaze away from the screen, trying to catch up with her questions. ]

My eyes are -- well, actually, I probably should get them checked. But I can see the TV, and there is no... this. I'm just not playing my best today. It happens.

[ He says as he steps off the curb and immediately gets plowed by a car. Didn't even make it far from the hospital. ]

[drama8om8]

[ The spectacular display of shittery elicits the dryest and least impressed of blinks.

Wally.

Wally pls. ]

Uh-huh.

[ She glances at the screen, still helpfully proclaiming "WASTED," before narrowing her eyes at him. HMM. H M M. ]

To be playing this bad, you have to be hells of drunk. Or on drugs! Like eight different kinds of drugs. Am I going to have to stage an intervention? At the opticians? Am I going to have to hold you back so that you don't start snorting bumps of cocaine off your glasses?

Just say no, Wally.

Just say no.

[waltharius]

[ Walter smacks the controller against his forehead a few times. ]

Does it look like I'm on drugs?

[ Bad, bad, BAD question. Because he's slightly sleep deprived and his eyes have gotten a little bloodshot. A little black bloodshot. It's kind of extremely freaky. Walter realizes that after a moment of frownyface staring and looks away. ]

...don't. Answer that.

[drama8om8]

Oh em eff gee.

[ She peers over the top of her glasses briefly before remembering that OH YEAH GROSS MISSING EYE. At which point the specs get shoved firmly back up her nose. SMOOTH. WHATEVER OKAY SHE CAN STILL LOOK ALL JUDGEY AND SHIT DWI ]

You're recreating Baking Bad, aren't you? I knew it. I knew it! You've already got the dude's name and now you're going to do all the drugs and make all the bad decisions and get rid of your hair and why would you do that your hair is still pretty fab and--

[ ENTERING SCREECHY BABBLE MODE. Please stop her, because she's not going to stop herself. ]

[waltharius]

Tavia.

[ ... ]

Octavia.

[ When that doesn't work, he sets the controller aside, leans forward, and covers her mouth with both hands. If she still tries shrieking though that, he's going to push her back until her head meets the back of the couch. Anything to stop the rant. ]

Shhhhh. No drugs. No bad decisions. I promise. I'd look terrible bald.

[drama8om8]

YMMM RRR PRRSNBRRG.

[ Which would be the mouth-covered way of saying "you are PRICENBERG." BAKING BAD PUNS!!!

She seems to have stopped screeching, at least. And is merely glowering at this loss of dignity. Victory!! ]

[waltharius]

[ He waits for a few seconds, just in case. ]

Are we calm now?

[ Walter takes his hands away slowly, hoping that everything has blown over. He thinks he's successfully deflected everything. He dreams big. ]

[drama8om8]

[ GLOWERING INTENSIFIES. ]

Okay first: next time you cover my mouth I am going to bite your fucking hand. And secondly, if you ain't on drugs then something else is shitted up. Like...

[ Think, Serket, think. What on earth could be bothering dear sweet innocent Wally-chan? ]

...you got a hole in your favourite sweater vest. Or the demon horse kicked you and left a hoofprint on your ass. Or you found that one Cure Phantom yaoi fanfiction featuring you that I told you to never search for.