savetheearth | Thirty-Fifth Message [Video

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Thirty-Fifth Message [Video | Sheet of Paper]

[An unceremonious start to a message.

There's not even much thought in the speech. It's shallow, it's muttered, it's mild and dry, but it's not pausing too long.]

-- Excuse me. Out of. Out of.

...Out of curiosity, what have -- we... Been, er... Been doing for ourselves... Recently.

Excuse me, please.

[It took on not so much an edge as an exerting curve toward the end, stepped back out with the second apology. He swallows, doesn't look as if he's finished keeps looming and "glancing" around the edges of the feed - but doesn't say any more.]

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[Rakka was in the Dians place, specifically the room she's made out for herself. Her hair was a mess, and she looked like a mess. Her face is pale, and there were bags under her eyes.]

I've been doing okay, I guess. I sent a letter to my parents, telling them... everything.

Edited 2014-10-02 02:36 (UTC)

[That wasn't really what he'd meant, his bad for hasting it after all - but it's... nice, in its way, for someone to take it like this in its own right. Not positive, precisely, but it's got a meaning, and so he doesn't think to clarify.

The look she's got is lost on him, however - if it wasn't, he probably wouldn't have even twitched the strictly-polite weary smile he did - it fades for a husky voice and a knitted brow.]

And -- and how did they... take it -- if -- if you don't mind telling.

I have the flu, but I am going to be back at work next week, knock on wood.

[Trying to sound bright and cheerful, which is difficult since he's utterly exhausted.]

... [Her brow creased.] They... didn't reply yet, so I'm waiting.

[Honestly, she was afraid of the reply, now more than ever.] I'm... hoping too.

One apology per post, not more.

[She seems to have decided that training Anthony into less apologies is her hobby now.]

[His brow knits to properly run that, and - ahh no no that's two to whom his intended question doesn't seem to have come through remotely, but he chokes that thought down. Forces a polite smile, that's all his fault, not as if he doesn't appreciate hearing this, either...!]

'Ss -- good to hear --

Err - not - not that you're sick, sir, of - course -- [The "course" plummeted into hoarseness; he coughs that out, really badly hopes he's just being paranoid, that it's not a continuation of anything...] -- that - that you think you're -- ...able to come back to work.

A - assuming you do think - and -- not that you. "Have". To.

[There should be something here. There should be something here.]

I - I still can't read text - I'm - I'm sorry...

[Keep a tally in the meantime.]

[Understandably so, certainly.]

Hope - hoping... that... Hoping that - ...they will reply...?

Still no way to make a screenreader work on this?

And one apology per post, not more, you should stick to that.

-- I-I don't have a screenreader -- still; I'm s - [COugh] - saving, err --

On a flustered rasp, that was the wrong way to start that...]

Hello, Blaine. And --

I don't - see - why... not, if it - seems appropriate...?

[And he's wincing at himself - looped right back around to defensive!]

[A sad nod.]

I hope they reply with anything.

[He wheezes, and - this first bit is a token but nonetheless it's meant sincerely, hopefully the sentiment will be of some use.]

Would -- ...Wouldn't be fair of them not to - to -- I mean it - wouldn't be fair of them to -- be... Upset. About it.

[Swallows, shakes his head, anchors lower and soft.]

-- You haven't hurt anything, you -- 'ss obvious you -- ...o-only want the best.

Not -- even where uhm. This is - is involved.

But it would work for the network?

[Maybe someone in her surroundings happenes to be throwing one away soon. She'll not keep an eye out but you know, if it just happens to hit her in the face...]

It's not appropriate. But some people prefer to wean themselves off a bad habit or drug by cutting down instead of going cold turkey, and you look like you'd be unable to function without your apologies.

[Rakka didn't reply at first. She averted her gaze and just... sat there, thinking about what Anthony said.

He was wrong about one thing, she had hurt something.]

Yeah... [A slow nod.] I just want everything to be fine. That's all I want.

[He shakes his head and mumbles "I don't know" in the space between that and her continuing - mentally bats himself over the head for overestimating the gap.]

I don't -- I don't see how it's not appropriate - [About as docile as something still technically argumentative, curse 'im for that, can be - sounds are sliding short.] 'Ff I've bothered anyone, I don't --

Don't want to - ...shouldn't just let -- it-it happen...

[He's arguing with her. Not well, but he's arguing with her. He's at least being difficult. Why is he being difficult.]

- Sorry, sorry...! I -- 'mh being stupid, you - you probably don't want to hear it...

'Nn I hope they're all fine for you. [Breathy but short, controlled - it's a simple statement.]

Even if --

If-if this - doesn't go well that they're - ...that thing're fixed.

Er -- you deserve to be happy, if that - that isn't -- that isn't, uhm. -- Out of line. ...For me to say.

I know what you mean, Anthony. It's OK.

[It's going to be OK. It's going to be. L just has to keep telling himself this, and it helps to tell it to others in a different context.]

I hear from Torin that things are going really well, so I definitely don't feel like I have to come back, but as the owner, it would be right.

What about you, Anthony? Do you think things are going well?

You're bothering people with the apologizing, and turn situations that would not be worth of an apology otherwise into ones that are, because the actual content of your words gets lost so much in all the "sorry".

Stuff it.

Or at least cut down on it, so it won't be as bothersome.

[Hopefully all the more as it actually is helping - easy enough to assume one would simply say that.

A tense divided moment. He nods, half-voices a swallow. Tells himself further that L's asking because it'd pay him to hear so.]

Mmm. I - [Snag.] Haven't -- noticed it - going, err... poorly. -- Hasn't been any trouble.

-- Which is good. Since I've - been, err -- ...worried... [He won't specifically cite a certain bit of chaos. Not the time to bring it up. Won't blame it on his fretting; there's always increasing cause to fret overall lately...

Sharp throat-clear to get back on track.]

-- Torin's - Torin's been keeping it that way, uh. [That last "uh" was about as scannable as a "ha", and the phrase is tensely brighter, meant to more properly sell something positive.] Was a - good choice, uhm - letting -- giving him the promotion, he, uh - he -- deserved... it...

If -- I... can say that...

[One taut snap this way and another the other at a mental impasse.

On one hand, he's got plenty to say. He doesn't know what isn't worthy of an apology and therefore what's to ruin by apologizing; even if they figure it isn't it's the thought that counts. His meanings probably get lost anyway. He might not be speaking for much longer especially if he was right about the rain. Might not be speaking English for much longer, if nothing else - have pulses caused anyone to forget anything thus far?

On the other, that was a straight up scold. And he's already embarrassed with himself for arguing. Bow out, son.

Shoves his answer into motion huskily:]

-- I'll try, I'll - I'll try.

I'm sorry. [Basically escaping air. Couldn't keep it entirely back after pushing the issue to a "stuff it", but he's got the semblance of good fgrace enough to wince exasperation around where it was.]

Good.

I'll keep checking on your progress.

I -- ...

Thank -- ...you...?

[The question mark, she is but a ghost.

But she is certainly meant.]

[A huff, and she is about to end the feed when something occurrs to her.]

Where are you now?

[Slouches following the huff. He argued, he lost, and he deserved it.

Snaps back closer with an all but audible crack when she asks.]

I'm -- mmh --

Uh - home, uh - wh - why...?

Home where?

Ah -- I. ...Address - you mean...?

Vegas or Locke?

L - Locke - still...

[Should... He be worried?]

Are you trying to get yourself killed?

[Yes evidently he should be. Chopped and hasty:]

Er -- what do. What do you mean...?

You realize that the mafia wants the numbered out of Locke, and they don't care if they leave the city feet first - or whatever applies even in your state.

I'm sure burning is a problem even for you.

'Mm not leaving Locke...

[That was... thin and faint-hearted-sounding, foolishness, foolishness, foolishness - he does mean it!]

- I-I have a job. And -- I wouldn't move out... of - where - where I am.

[It's indeed a "wouldn't". A "won't", not a "can't".]

And you don't think that you endanger those around yourself more than necessary through that?

[This might be an attempt to guilt-trip him into leaving the city. Who knows?]

[Alas there's counter-guilt already in place. Sorry if this is poor expenditure of your good will, milady.]

-- Still was told not to move out.

-- Wouldn't want to move out.

Then I guess you're all equally suicidal and I won't stop you on your mission. Go ahead.

[Click. Sorry Anthony.]

[Just hearing that someone who registers as important, an employee and therefore a priority is concerned is setting off warning bells. L bites his lip, nodding though he knows it can't be seen by merit of his medium and his conversation partner's handicap.]

You're worried? Why are you worried, Anthony?

[He pauses, weighing his words before decisively confirming Anthony's assertion.]

Thank you. I agree; Torin has helped me more than words can express, and I trust him to do the same for anyone else working for me.

[The number has dwindled; L's aware that circumstances have taken some to Vegas recently. Another reason to return, even if he trusts his remaining employees to hold down the fort as long as necessary.]

[His smile turns a faint bit more solemn. He lowers his head. Still, he means it no less.

And backtracking to the prior question - starts with an exhale, doesn't mean it to sound ominous...]

-- Only worried after - what's happened, things - keep happenin, you er - understand... I a - apologize if I'm - concerning you o-or...

[L watches the movement and subtle shifts in Torin's horrific mask of a face. L thinks it's likely the face was gentle and even sweet at one point, but now it appears to only be able to go through the stiff and unnatural motions of being alive and responsive.]

Things will continue to happen, and we'll continue to move forward. I'm OK with that, and you need to be, too.

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Thirty-Fifth Message [Video | Sheet of Paper]

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