[video] the conspiracies don't start till i walk in

[gogoghostpowers]

[It is 3 am. Danny's hair is disheveled, and he is in his freemasonry-symbol pajamas. His face is lit only by the glow of his laptop screen. He looks crazed, and it's not certain whether he actually looks like that, or that's just because of the lighting.]

Oh my god, guys, I just--I figured it out!

So, there were those pink lights in Vegas that we all saw, right? And pink lights mean something's alien-related. So alien-related stuff is showing up in Vegas, which is only like 200 miles from Tonopah Air Force Base, where the real alien testing was done during the Cold War when they were using Area 51 as a decoy!

Guys. This--this can't be a coincidence. Who knows how deep this goes. It might even go beyond the Locke police department, beyond Sherman and even Edwards. This could go as high up as the military--or the secret service, or the president himself!

I don't know what's going to happen next or what it all means just yet, but I know it's connected somehow.

Comments

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[gogoghostpowers]

Why would I even want to do that? I'm trying to help here!

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[shineonyou]

Scaring people before they go to bed is not helping, dude. It's a dick move.

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[gogoghostpowers]

I wasn't trying to scare anyone! I just wanted to let people know what's going on.

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[shineonyou]

What if there was an old lady with heart problems or some shit on this network? She'd be dead, yo.

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[gogoghostpowers]

[If THIS post is enough to give someone a heart attack, Danny doesn't even want to think about what some of the other posts he's made could do to someone.]

Well--what am I supposed to do then?

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[shineonyou]

I...


Fuck, I dunno.

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[gogoghostpowers]

I mean, I don't think that's happened to anyone on here so far. I feel like someone would've said something if it's happened before.

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[shineonyou]

Wait, so what's the general age population here? 'Cause all I've talked to are weirdo twenty-somethings and weirdo teenagers. No old people. No babies. What's up with that?

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[gogoghostpowers]

...I don't actually know. I mean there are a bunch of older people on here--like half the teachers at my school are on this network--but still...you're right. I think there are only a couple of people old enough to be my grandparents, and I haven't seen anyone younger than like...5th grade around.

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[shineonyou]

...Yooooooooooooooo. That's fucked up.

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[gogoghostpowers]

...you mean old people?

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[shineonyou]

I mean a lotta things, lil dude. Like ages and shit. Man, I didn't even think age was a thing, but you're sayin' we got old people as superheroes? But no babies flyin' around and punchin' holes in walls and shit. That's fucked up.

I wanna see a baby flyin' around and punchin' holes in walls, man.

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[gogoghostpowers]

Wha--are you--really?

Because I don't know, that sounds like the last thing I want to see.

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[shineonyou]

Dude, are you kidding me? That would be so cool.

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[gogoghostpowers]

No way. Noooo way. Babies can't even poop on their own, forget about flying and punching holes in stuff!

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[shineonyou]

Doesn't that make it more of a Wild Card?

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[gogoghostpowers]

Yeah, I guess, but--why is that a good thing?

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[shineonyou]

I just think it'd be hilarious. Hilarity's good, right?

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[gogoghostpowers]

I dunno, not when it could end up with people getting hurt, or stuff getting destroyed.

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[shineonyou]

Dude, you are shittin' all over the idea of a flying baby. I can't even handle this right now.

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[gogoghostpowers]

...okay, maybe if it's like. A giant playpen thing for superpowered kids, a flying baby would be pretty cool to see in there.

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[shineonyou]

Right? That'd be so damn baller, dude. So freakin' baller.

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[gogoghostpowers]

Maybe if it's padded--hey, if it's padded, it'd be just like one of those bouncyhouses!

Except probably a lot crazier.

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[shineonyou]

...What if a baby had the power to, like, create those bouncyhouses anywhere.

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[gogoghostpowers]

...okay, now that would be awesome.